Is it normal to be scared of having children even though i really do want them ?

Question

Me and my husband have set a start trying date. Its kinda far away but because time goes by so fast it'll be here before we know it. All my feelings tell me im ready because i cant think about being a mother or about my husband being a father without crying. It just gives me a good feeling. And i know that ill be so happy when it does happen because i was at the doctors and she wanted to put me on an antibiotic but i couldn't be pregnant so she gave me a test. And just sitting there thinking that she might come in here and say that i am pregnant i got sooo happy and teary eyed and i started planning how ill tell my husband there was no fear at all even though when she said no, i wasn't surprised it still let me know how i really felt. But every now and then i get waves of just being so scared. I think its a good sign because i realize how important a decision this is and becoming a parent is scary and i think because we're planning on it i have the time to think about it. Some experiences would be nice. Thanks!

Answer 1

More people are scared of what their children's lives are going to be like than they are their own; especially in today's world.

It's perfectly natural.

Answer 2

Okay scary yes.   Mixed feelings are a very common thing.   Your thinking you want a kid but you aren't sure you are ready.    Everything will change when you have a child and your time that is just you and your husband will be over atleast for the next 18 years or so.   You have to think are you ready to make that big leap and be completely responsible for another human being who relies entirely on you.    Its not a decison to take lightly.  You both have to be ready, or it will be much harder.    Scary, yes I don't know a more scary topic.   We want kids but we don't want anything to change.  We enjoy are time together the way things are but then again we are willing to give it up.   Most every couple goes through this at one point or another.   Keep your chin up and you guys will be able to make the decision.   The whole idea is scary, when we brought up the topic and we knew we could really start considering it I had a major major anxiety attack, and even had to go to the doctor because I couldn't control it.  Yet we had been talking about having a kid for months.    Well the panic ceased and I'm getting used to the idea but still its scary as you know where.    also as it got closer to time it got less scary.    We don't have kids yet but we want one and its natural to be scared but it will get better.  Just see how you feel closer to time

Answer 3

I personally think it is normal to feel scared for having babies as part of our lives.. I personally was scared I got married and took me 2 years to get pregnant with my first baby  and when I finally got pregnant I was shocked and happy at the same time,unfortunately I was in a process of a separation,but still was scared if I will be a good mother, if my baby will love me and will look after me and thank God everything has gone really good my oldest baby is now 7yrs and I have 2 more kids with my now hubby and I was scared too while being pregnant with them and still am.. Because I always hope if I am doing a good job as a mom and friend too. My best reward is that my kids are well behaved kids & intelligent too. SO just relax it is normal to be scared and wanting  do bad a baby at the same time, so best wishes getting pregnant soon and ENJOY your pregnancy and become a loving mommy probably soon... GOOD LUCK !!!!  

Answer 4

It's kind of overwhelming at first. But eventually you get to know the child and you just try to keep them out of trouble. Remember life is as hard or easy as you decide to make it.

Answer 5

Of course it's normal.  You've never done anything like this before.

I think becoming a parent is a great leap of faith. You don't know how it will go or what kind of child you will get or how it will change you. Once you start, there is no turning back. But look how many people have done it!  99.9% of them are happy, they love their children, and they have no regrets.  Trust that you will be like that too - you will have enough love to manage whatever the future brings.  

Sounds like you're ready to take this on. Just close your eyes and jump.

Answer 6

Sure. Many people have felt this way. Sounds like you want a family and that is half the battle. Don't think so much...you will scare yourself into a corner. Good luck

Answer 7

it's totally normal to be scared because it is a whole new chapter of your life a chapter that isn't like being in college or being single that will eventually will close I know that you want to have a baby and you should but instead of setting a try date you should just let it happen when it happens instead of forcing it because you are scared because once you are pregnant there is no turning back giving your self time to think. doing this may help you not feel so scared. I don't know how far away your set date is but that may help.

Answer 8

yeah its normal being scared of having children, its a great responsibility.

Answer 9

Its great that you understand the responsibility of becoming a parent and I'm sure you and your husband are more than ready for this experience. Its good that you're a little scared too because that means you're not taking it lightly and you want it to go well, which is totally normal and healthy. Children are very demanding but can also be a real blessing and joy. You'll be fine; you have a loving partner who wants to have children with you, you are undoubtedly healthy and physically able to concieve and you sound very practical, compassionate and maternal, even from that little bit you wrote. Good luck!

Answer 10

I think everyone gets scared.  It's a big challenge, and I think we are all afraid we would s***w it up!  But if you want to be a mother, you will probably make a good one, after all, desire and drive are a huge part in being successful at anything!

Answer 11

I think it shows that you will be a thoughtful and responsible parent.  It is an awesome task to create a child and give him or her an excellent up-bringing.  Keep asking questions!  You are on the right track!

Answer 12

I thought I wanted kids right away when my husband and I got married..so we set a date and as the date neared I become more and more scared. Being scared helped me realize I wasn't as ready as I thought, so we've decided to wait. Just see how you feel the closer it gets to the date. I know once I decided to wait the scaredness went away and I almost felt a relief. But that's just me

Answer 13

It is very normal when you are going to make a commitment as large as having a child that you would have some apprehension.  I felt the same way but it is very common and only shows you know how important this decision is and how your life will change once you make the choice.  It is not for everyone but I would not have missed it for the world.  Hope that helps.