Is it normal to feel this way?

Question

My girlfriend is having thoughts of getting back together with her ex-husband. They have been apart for 2 years and he doesn't seem to want her back. I am stuck in the middle because our relationship depends on her decision.

My question is:

Is it normal to have feelings for your ex-husband/wife after a divorce?

and if so, what usually happens?

Most detail wins best answer.

Answer 1

I think it is definitely normal. I think we want to stick with what seems familiar in our lives. When my ex and I broke up and I moved on almost a year later there were a lot of qualities I liked about our familiar relationship that I missed when he was gone. Sometimes I wished my new mad was my old man.

I think you have to make her see that you are more then what he was. Dig into here relationship with him. ask her what things she did not like about their relationship to remind her of why she is not with him. Ask her what things she liked about their relationship, you probably have the same qualities.

On the other hand maybe she is just trying to find a nice way to break up with you.  

Answer 2

Most of the time when couples break up depending on the reason there are always unfinished feeling that need to resolved. Its not that the person even really want to be with their ex it just in their mind and they need to do something to see if its really over or not. ( 9 times out of 10 they don't get back together.)

Answer 3

I wouldnt just sit around and be her second choice.  Kudos to her for telling you but don't be her back up man.  That can't end well plus she has already had one failed marrage do you want to be number 2.

Answer 4

she still like him that not good and she is just preobely using u to forget about him

Answer 5

i believe so.its nothing to do with you .ive talked to someone in a similar situation.what she said was the person she was with wasnt sensative to her and her feelings.yet not abusive.her ex,was really sensative to her in all ways yet when he got mad, hed hit the walls exc.... not hit her of course, but still tempor tantrum according to her.check this out,she wanted to go back to her ex.i guess both genders,we find our qualities in partners from experiences and choose to commit with new relationships already knowing what were looking for or go back to where we were comfortable and familiar with. hope this helps...take care.  

Answer 6

The relationship your girlfriend had with her ex-husband couldn't have been that great since they got divorced, but the passage of time has let her forget the pain and how annoying he can be.

You, on the other hand, are in her life now. At best, you're failing to make her blissfully happy through her every waking moment of the day; at worst, you're really irritating her because you're merely an imperfect human being rather than the wonderful guy that she fell in love with and married in the soft-focus long-gone past.

Her feelings are fairly normal, but she needs to grow up and accept that life and people are never perfect. Her marriage was screwed up enough for it to end in divorce. That's the past. It's dead, gone and cannot be revived.

An emotionally mature person would be concentrating on the present and her relationship with you.

Is she grown-up enough to understand this? If so, then your relationship has a chance. If she's not that mature, then even if she eventually accepts that the imaginary bliss of her failed marriage cannot be recreated in the real world, then I think there is a chance she'll soon move on from you in a doomed search for unobtainable happiness with someone else.