Is it normal to have scary thoughts about death after a close family friend passes?

Question

if you have been through this what kinds of thoughts did you have?

Answer 1

I think so. I think a lot about death and dying in general. I've written lots of poems related to death, and find good songs about death and television documentaries about suicides and murders fascinating. I have lots of death-related dreams, too (i.e. dreams about getting lost in cemeteries where murderers are on the loose and witnessing mass suicides where all the victims are dogs). Currently, I am trying to make the most of my life while I still can.

Answer 2

well i haven't but allot of people have this the most if they see the person die and you will get over it i a while once you stop thinking about it

Answer 3

I am very sorry for your loss. Almost anything can happen after a close family friend passes. My father passed early this year. This brought on a lot of grief both before, during and after he died.

So the question is not about normal versus abnormal or right versus wrong ways to grieve. We all experience grief in our own way----there is endless variation. Almost any types of feelings or thoughts can be expected.

Although it may not be as serious as a family friend passing, one of my beloved cats passed close to two months ago. She was old and had been sick since last fall. I experienced most of my tears and sadness at the end of 2007, when it became apparent that she would not be with me much longer.

Your scary thoughts about death are perfectly understandable, and they are no surprise to me. When a friend passes, it brings up not just the loss of that person. It also brings up all that "messy stuff"  we are not supposed to think about. What is life all about if we are just gonna wind up dead? Sorry, for the blunt question, but that was a big issue for me. What happens when we die? What is the "meaning of life"? Etc., etc.

It might help for you to keep a journal about your day to day experiences and anything related to scary thoughts about death. You can not only use words in your journals but any kind of drawings or pictures.

One of the most important things of all is not to keep your feelings or scary thoughts to yourself. Let your feelings out with friends or family. In many areas there are support groups where you can meet others going through the grieving process. If necessary, you can talk to a counselor or psychotherapist.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. I hope this letter helps.