Is it normal to stress out before a wedding?

Question

I am walking down the isle with my fiance in 10 days. I am completely stressed out and the tension is only getting worse. Not only am I stressing about the ceremony and reception following 130 guest but I feel that I am the only one getting things done. We are in the process of buying a home and relocating 400 miles away from home. Ceremony, Reception, Buying a home, realtor, mortgage loan, fixing our credit, selling our current home, cleaning, and packing is alot of stress on me. He works everyday M-F and I had to quit my job to take care of everything. Bills are collecting at this point and he's pissed throwing in my face that I need to work. He rarely ever helps me around the house and he seems to half *** things when I ask him to do it. He is excited about the wedding but I seem to always be the one taking care of everything. We've been fighting almost everyday for the last week. Is this normal? has anyone gone through this before a wedding?

Answer 1

It's totally normal to stress about a wedding. Add buying a home, moving, and job changes, and you're lucky you're not in the mental ward!

Seriously, I just went through this. We bought a home, moved, and planned a wedding all in a 6-month period. Up to the evening before the wedding (this past Friday night), my husband was still building the fence at our property (I had helped up to that point, but had other things to take care of). On Saturday morning (the day of the wedding), he was putting on an extra thing on the fence gate to keep the dogs from getting out - and this was an hour before we left to go to the church for the wedding.

So, yeah, when you've got a lot to do, of course you're going to be stressed. Just remember that you will get through it! Stress is still stress, even if it's "happy" stress.

BTW, I'm writing this from Disneyland - we're on our HoneyMoon. My husband is happily snoring beside me, but I'm up because I took a nap on the plane over here, haha.

Congrats!!

:)

As far as you working or not, and who's going to take care of what at the house, you will have to sit down and have some serious conversations about that. Each of you needs to voice your expectations of your roles, and what you expect each person to do as far as working in the home and working outside of the home. It can be helpful to list out all the chores that need to be done, and ask your husband what he thinks each of you should do. That way he can see just how much needs to be done around the house.

Only the two of you can decide what works best for your marriage. My husband and I have decided that I will stay at home. After being a shrink for over a decade, that is stressful. But we're planning on having kids, and I want to homeschool, so that's what we're doing. We've looked at all of our finances and decided what to do about living on one income. But that's what works for us - only you can decide what will work for you.

If you are going to go back to work, you can start looking for a job when you get back from your honeymoon. Tell him you will start looking then. You can't get a job right now, duh! He should lay off, and you can look very, very soon.

Answer 2

You have nine days to think about if you want to go through with this wedding.  He seems very unreasonable.  Sorry, you do go through a lot of stress, you want to make sure everything goes good for the wedding, he should be more involved with the moving, etc.  Telling you you need a job isn't the answer.  Why can't he hire movers?  He's working.  You're starting out your married life on the wrong foot.  Think real hard before those 9 days go by.  Are you really sure you want this man in your life for the rest of your life?  If he isn't helping you now, he's going to expect you to do everything for him while married to him.  I know... these words are hard to read, but I sense a lot in your panic and I'm not sure you're ready to marry this man.  He doesn't seem to care about you.  Sorry.

Answer 3

go out to dinner, go to a movie, detox....have great s*x...detox. just take one day. you will feel better once you get this stuff done. and you will never make a schedule with so many important things at once again! lol. congrats.

Answer 4

My husband took care of almost everything juz before our wedding. I only took orders n carried out whatever he needed me to do. I guess feeling all the excitement n getting stressed out is a normal thing esp when the date is so near. Sit down n work things out as a couple. All the best on ur wedding day!

Answer 5

It's normal to be very stressed about the wedding and the moving etc.  But it sounds like you're stressed about the marriage too.  Everyone gets jitters but you need to figure out if you're having real doubts.  Please figure this all out before you get married.  No big wedding/new house/etc is worth getting into the wrong marriage.  Do you have a calm, smart friend or relative you can talk this over with?  Someone who isn't invested in the wedding happening?  Or, do you think you can be really frank with your fiance about these issues?  Let the wedding and move prep go -- it'll all get done one way or another -- and just take a walk or see a movie, maybe disappear for a little while.  And figure out how you really feel.

Answer 6

My wedding is in 2 months and I am so stressed now I can't imagine how I will be 10 days b/4 the wedding. My pastor told us in marriage counceling that you will notice alot more fights right b/4 the wedding. Try to resolve all the issues b/4 you go to bed. Never go to bed mad. :) I have 150 guest so far at my wedding and I swear its the little things that stress me out. You'll be ok after the wedding. It really is alot of stress. Don't worry about it. As for you taking care of everything, most men don't help. just be glad that you'll get everything you want. I know my man don't help much. Just try not to stress out so much. I go tanning 3 times a week it helps me alot its like a stress buster, a time to relax. I was once told also to set aside atleast 1 time a week where you don't talk about the wedding or think about it at all. I know its hard to do but it really does help. Try taking a nightly bath that you can just relax in w/ candel's around you. it helps too. your be ok when its over .

Answer 7

hey congrats..!!

its normal.. we all go thru this thing... so chill..

evrythn wil be fine aft marriage..!

all the best.. tc..!!

Answer 8

yes its normal because you have to prepare for everything......there are a lot of work and papers to be proccessed.