Is it normal to think that your husband and his mom are sharing feelings about you behind your back?

Question

For the longest time now, I find fault with how my MIL raised my husband, how she and my husband's other sisters use my husband for favors, and how they pretend that they like me.

When we're all together, his mom says that he blows all of his money. She also says taht she wishes she could go back to school, but she can't because she's a single, working mom. My husband says comments like "You hate them, they hate you." Whenever I mention how I don't like them/ what they're doing. He tells his mom that I think they hate me, and she denies it. I'm fed up with whatever is going on behind my back. My husband claims that they don't talk S**t on me, but I think everyone does at one point in time. I even heard my husband say that his mom said, "What's up her ***?" When we got in a fight at her house, and he said that she stated, "What, can't you stand your wife?"

Sometimes it feels like a constant battle for my husband. Why can't I have him to myself? When we first were married, we had a nice 1 bedroom apartment, we spent a lot of time together, he didn't talk to his mom (she was a ***** and threw him out) and I felt like I had peace and didn't have to worry. Now that I had a baby and lived with them for 4 months (moved out in Feb. things just keep getting worse though) it's like a living h**l, no matter how far I live from them!

Are they gossiping about me? How do I find out??? Their phone conversations are usually 3 minutes or less at any given time, but he does go to her house once a week to talk or do favors for her.

Answer 1

You are in big trouble here,& you need to re-assess your attitude about his family. You can't change them,but you can change your thoughts & actions.I had a similar situation with my DIL.You will never win him over,so you can approach his Mom,& tell her that your sorry that things went astray & that you hope to start over,since you've been selfish about wanting your husband all to yourself.Apologize to her & never say anything or act negative about his family,in the future. Trust me,you have no other options if you want to maintain a relationship in this family for yourself & your baby.It's working for us,& it's been 5 years of better communication between us.BOL to you.

Answer 2

    Dear Mrs T. dont let  your love  for or the lack of , be a drainer of your moral.  Your  in-laws  are what they are. You are new to them therefore "take time to know them"

If a sprit of arguementitiveness dwells in their home  You should by all means  avoid going there.

never share or participate in conversations  with your husband about his family, Always smile and give only soft sweet answers.

My marriage is twentyfive yeas old, if I had allowed all of the c**p from the past to crowd out the estacy of the present, where  would I be today?

good luck !

Answer 3

Your husband is wrong for playing that he said she said game. He knows you care how they feel about you  but he needs to stop adding fuel to the fire. I understand your mil in someone whose approval you may want. But you should draw the line. Being a great person, mother and wife should be your top priorities.

Wasting your time worrying about what they may be saying about you is high school drama. So what if they are talking about you. What are you going to do? Focus on yourself, child and husband.