Is it offensive to Christians if I marry in a church and I'm not christian?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been discussing marriage. But we both agree that registry offices are tacky, and we'd like a traditional wedding in a church. But we are not practising Christians, in fact we dont hold any beliefs. We are not sinners, we don't take drugs or smoke, we are having s*x before marriage, but we are in a close loving relationship and neither of us have slept with anyone else in our lives. We don't break the law, or gamble, or anything like that. Apart from th fact that we have never been to church, I think we live very similar lives to Christians, as we celebrate things like xmas and easter. But my friend's sister is very religious and she says she finds it offensive when people who are not Christian marry in a church. What is your opinion? We just want a traditional wedding and a loving marriage.

Answer 1

I guess it depends on the church.  Our church welcomes anyone to use their building, even if they aren't members.  Usually there's a fee.  (When my husband and I got married, it was $75.00 and one of our church members was there to coordinate the wedding schedule.)  I'm a Christian, and I agree that it's just very traditional to be married in church.  Congrats!

EDIT: Oh, I didn't see the additional details.  No I wouldn't be offended if non-Christians get married in my church.

Answer 2

This is not exactly an answer but you can have a ceremony without christian beliefs or doctrine done by at a Universalist Unitarian Church. My friend, wo has no religion,  had his wedding there and it was a lovely ceremony.

Answer 3

Of course they won't take offense.

But it'll hurt their feelings to find you're not a believer.

Answer 4

It will not be others opinions as much as it will be to find a Christian minister who will marry you.

Answer 5

God says there's only 1 church - people that have received His Spirit (evidenced by speaking in tongues), he doesn't dwell in buildings made by men.

Nothing you do should offend a Christian, it's what they do that counts.

Are you offended by what I just said?

Answer 6

SO you just want to use them and throw them out when your done with them

that is just rude.

I want to have a party in your house when I'm done I wont call you anymore

Think about it.

this has nothing to do with religion its basic manners

Using people is just wrong. You want to have a loving marriage you should try and learn what the word selfish is.

I'M not trying to be rude to you but really think about what your doing to other human beings

While your at it With the cost of housing and everything else why don't you give your boyfriend a break stop thinking about being BARBIE and put the money into your house or retirement or a college fund for your kids

BUT that wont happen WOMEN ARE JUST NUTS

Answer 7

I would be honored to have you marry in my church. I believe that a true marriage is when 2 people are brought together by God.  That could be anywhere at any time. It really doesn't matter where you get married, as long as you put god first in your relationship. I know you'll do that if you get married in a church. The pastor will have you go to premarital counseling.  I'm sure you'll get a lot out of that too. Every bit of advice helps when starting a marriage.

It really doesn't matter how clean your life is.  What matters is how clean your heart is.

If your friend's sister were more of a christian and a lot less religious, she'd know that God loves everyone, not just those who drop a few coins in a plate once a week.

Answer 8

Why not find somewhere just as nice but with no religious affiliation?  We got married in a lovely Victorian mansion.

Answer 9

That's goofy! You have to be a member of the church!

Answer 10

People get married in all kinds of places. If your not religious then by all means don't get married in a church!

Answer 11

No, as long as you pay them money.

Answer 12

Some denominations wouldn't allow you to marry in their church.  Others would.  Try the Unitarians, .. they don't have any real beliefs anyway.  Call around and ask some of the different churches, but Unitarian is probably your best bet.  J.W., Catholic and Mormon are definitely out of the question though.

Answer 13

I am a christian and I do not find it offensive.

Answer 14

There are many churches that will not allow you to marry in their church unless you are members. If they will, it will cost money to rent out the church, usually in the neighborhood of $300 or so, depending upon the size and the season. For example, a summer wedding in a hot climate at a large church is going to require more utility use for air conditioning than the same church in the same hot climate in winter, when the temperatures are going to be nicer, so they're going to charge more for a summer wedding than a winter wedding.

And, you can only marry in a Catholic church if at least one partner is Catholic.

Is there a Unitarian Universalist church in your area? If so, they don't ask for a profession of faith, and it's a much smaller rental fee, if there's any at all.

As it is, though, most churches won't let you marry in their church unless at least one partner is a member of that faith.  

Answer 15

no (i am not totally sure) but i think it would be okay.

Answer 16

First off, yes you are a sinner. The Bible says, " For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." However, I think your friend is stupid for saying that it is offensive to her that you get married in a church. What is her deal? She is probably jealous. I do not think it is bad to get married in a chuch, most people want to. My dad married my mom in a church and he is atheist. Don't worry about what your friend thinks. If you want to get married in a church that is fine with me, and I would think that most CHRISTIANS would agree with me. Congrats!

Answer 17

in my opinion, it is offensive. people marry in mosques and churches and synagogues because they are somewhat devoted to the faith.

Answer 18

well some pastors require you be a member of that church or go through marital counseling with you if you want to be married in that church and by that pastor. it all depends on the pastor of that church. so if that is what the pastor wants, are you willing to go through all of that?

no, it wont bother me at all.

double doggie: I'm a black woman that married a white man in a church.

Answer 19

I believe that having your wedding in God's house adds an extra blessing.  Of course, there are always small chapels that are non-denominational if you feel there is too many negative things felt by the church goers at the church you wish to use.  Congratulations!

Answer 20

If you're in England (I suspect you are, somehow) why not marry in the ruins of an old Abbey -Whitby Abbey or Fountains Abbey for example.

Some of the clergy are a bit funny about marrying non-theists in church.  So there might be a problem there, anyway.

Answer 21

Only if you are black or g*y.

Answer 22

I think it's okay to marry in a church but the church leaders have their own set of opinions because they follow a set of church doctrines closely.

I would like a church wedding too, not so much for a romantic ambience but because I think it's necessary for God to witness the exchange of vows between two people and receive His blessings. He is, afterall, our Father.

Answer 23

It is YOUR wedding.

Answer 24

It's your wedding.  But be aware that some churches won't let you get married there without a profession of faith.