Is it offensive to Judaism if non-Jews observe the high holidays?

Question

I'm not Jewish. I've read the 613 mizvot, and I remember learning that it's not appropriate for non-Jews to observe certain mizvot and instead should just observe the 7 laws of Noah.

That being said, I'm planning to convert someday. I'm aware of the long process, I've been studying for almost a year and learning Hebrew. My boyfriend is Jewish and I've participated in Shabbat dinners for almost a year. I participated in any rituals in his home that I was invited to particiapte in. I lit candles at Chanukah, I ate hamentaschens and discussed the story of Esther at Purim, I attended and read at the Pesach Seder.

However, the High Holidays are approaching. I won't be attending synagogue with my boyfriend, because I have not converted. However, I am very interested in these holidays, particularly the fast. I have never fasted before in my life. I'm considering attempting to fast on my own and to restrain from things like bathing, driving, using electricity and wearing leather shoes.

Since I plan to convert, and I have participated in other holidays and festivals, I would like to attempt this in preparation for my conversion. However I am concerned that my actions may be offensive to Judaism.

So, my question is, as a non-Jew, would my actions of fasting on Yom Kippur be offensive to Judaism?

Answer 1

There are several things going on here that I'd like to address:

You would most likely not be turned away from a Synagogue unless you needed tickets for the services (many do require tickets simply because of the massive amount of people that come in... need to keep with fire codes)

You probably would not understand a whole lot of what's going on during the service, but if you have a basic understanding and a boyfriend who is Jewish, it might be helpful.

I personally, invite many non-Jews to things like Passover Seders and Rosh Hashanah dinners.  Most love sharing our traditions (and delicious foods).  The problem comes when some try to infuse Christianity into our holidays.  For example, it irks every Jew (no matter if they're Reconstructionist or Orthodox) to hear someone say that Passover is all about Jesus.

In conclusion: if you want to try it out, anyone who's seen as an adult in the Jewish community is supposed to fast.  I would recommend you and your boyfriend do it together, it'll be a great bonding experience as well as informative for you!

Answer 2

Remember, you can be Jewish and still recognize Jesus as your Messiah.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong or offensive about wanting to try practices on in advance to see how they fit... but keep in mind that Judaism is a religion based on commandments.  Not just in the simplistic sense that there are things we have to do and things we're not allowed to do, but also in the wider-reaching sense that every commandment has a reason, a time, and a way of being observed.  And not all people are obligated to fulfill every commandment.  Doing something you are not obligated to do, while generally not prohibited, is also not really encouraged - because that can also be a way of taking it less seriously than it deserves.  

When it comes to fasting on Yom Kippur, kids below bar and bat mitzvah age are not required to fast, nor are people who are too sick to fast.  Nor are non-Jews.  If they choose to fast, knowing that they are not obligated, that's one thing.  But to treat it as an obligation, which they cannot break, is going against the Torah.  There is a reason that they are not obligated.  For kids and the sick, it is because it is not healthy, and preserving our health is another commandment - one that takes precedence over fasting.  For non-Jews, it is because we are fasting in repentance for breaking the other commandments over the course of the year, and since non-Jews were not required to keep those commandments in the first place, there is no need to repent.  Apologizing for something you didn't do wrong may be a nice gesture, but it's also an empty one.

I think a better way to spend the day would be in learning - studying about the holiday, reading up, even borrowing a machzor (high holiday prayer book) and seeing what the service is like.  And if you want to try fasting as an exercise, go for it - but if it gets too hard, don't beat yourself up.  

As another (related) piece of advice - there is nothing wrong with taking things slowly.  There are so many observances, and it is easy to get jazzed up about them and overdo it -- and then burn out when the special feeling you get from new observance dies down or even goes away.  Most Jews - even religious ones (maybe especially religious ones) take an awful lot of our practices for granted.  They become second nature and not infused with meaning.  But for a convert or a baal teshuvah (a Jew who decides to become more religious), almost every new observance can come with a little rush or spark of meaning, which can be addicting.  And when that feeling inevitably goes away (because it has to - nothing intoxicating can be sustained or our heads would explode), you need to be left with a solid foundation or it will be way too easy to want to give up altogether - for it to seem pointless or empty.  So no matter how into the process you get, remember to pace yourself.  You don't need to take everything on at once.  Pick one mitzvah at a time and focus on it, rather than jumping all in.  It's hard advice to take (especially when it comes to religion, where everything suddenly has a "right / wrong" switch and how can you choose "wrong?"), but your psyche will thank you later ;)

Answer 4

Well, until you formally begin a conversion, I would hold off on that.

There's a lot to it that you need to be educated on when you begin to convert.

I think, personally, fasting is fine, if you want to do it, but you don't have to. You already know that though.

I think the only thing I personally would think is offensive, if the conversion would be due to marriage or for someone else other than yourself. But, gathering from what you're saying you seem to be pretty interested in it. I hope you continue further in whichever path you feel is correct.

Answer 5

Considering your seriously considering (planning to) convert, it makes sense to learn more through this holiday season too.  In Reform or Conservative, you'd be welcome to attend the services as well.  I won't speak for Orthodox since I don't know the policy.  However, it may not be the right choose at the moment relationship-wise.

I know an Orthodox synoguage here holds a study session the 2nd day for anyone who wants to come (Rosh Hashannah obviously), & opens it's services to anyone too.  Even if you're planning on converting to Orthodox, if you can't attend there, maybe there's Conservative congregation you can buy a ticket to if you're up to it?  

On fasting, maybe talk to your boyfriend about it.  Are you planning on attending the family's break-the-fast?  It's fine to fast but what's bothering me is if you won't be around people, for that sense of spiritual support & for safety.  Please keep in mind that if fasting will make one ill it is required not to fast, so as you go through the day, hunger is fine, but feeling like passing out is not so good.  (I can't fast for medical reasons any longer (and proved it the hard way last year) so I eat but bland foods like a rice cake & not much.)  

If you do decide to -- may you have an easy fast!  That's the standard greeting & expression.  It's an interesting experience.

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Correction on Asptole's comment

Jews deserve a unqiue name for our religion.  We don't believe in Jesus.  If you want believe that, come up with a unique name of your own.  NO Jewish community accepts messanics as Jewish!

Answer 6

Observe all you want, I don't care.

Answer 7

I'm an atheist...would it offend you if I gave gifts on christmas?

Answer 8

Given that you are planning to convert, that you have been studying already, and that your boyfriend is Jewish and you've participated in Shabbat dinners for a year, I don't see anything wrong with fasting.  Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with going to High Holydays either since you're planning on converting--what better way to really experience an important part of Judaism!

It would be different if you were a true "onlooker" only--but that doesn't sound like you.  Just my opinion.

Answer 9

Wowzers. Complex. I belive a fast in solidarity, without any strictly religious overtones would be totally, well, kosher.

An interesting side-note is the only holiday 'forbidden' to non-Jews is the Pesach seder. But we tend to regard that as outdated. So go for it.