Is it ok for a 21 year old and a 31 year old to date, if they've known each other for a long time?

Question

i met this girl when i was 25 and she was 15. i worked with her father on his ranch. me and her dad became good pals and i was invited over for dinner and family gatherings all the time. she would talk to me all the time and i knew she had a crush on me, her whole family did. i was never attracted to her though. she was a child and i treated her as one. it's been 6 years since then and i no longer work with her dad but i've always kept in touch and drop by occasionaly. i even come over for thanksgiving dinner. so it's been 6 years and she's 21 and i'm 31, and she's no longer a child, she's almost finished with college and very grown up. we've always been friends and really good together. i think i'm started to have feelings for her. we go together so well, i mean a perfect match, everyone tells us this, not just my opinion, although i do agree, and it dosen't feel weird at all, until i think of the age difference and i remember her having braces and giving her a lift to sleep overs at her friends houses and giving her advice about life. she admitted she still has a crush on me. her dad thinks it's ok even though he's suspicious of me but he's been that way with all her boyfriends in the past. her mom thinks im the greatest thing, and says her husband really likes me and dosent mind, he's just being protective. is this weird or am i perverted. i didnt just see a cute 21 year old and go for it. i mean i know her really well and want to be with her because of who she is. i even thought she might just be going through a phase, i never thought a 21 year old could be "in love" but she's had a crush on me since she was 15, a 6 year crush. that's pretty good. also a side note, we even have the same birthday, june 19 i was born in 1976 and she was born in 1986. isn't that weird? so am i a bad person? is this weird? is this normal?

Answer 1

this is probbably left alone, on the basis you write that you remember her in braces, the age difference is quite significant and she may be attratcted to toher things like  money and security, i guess all you can do since you are both legal age is give it a go if it works great if not to bad

Answer 2

Age doesn't matter! Talk to her about it. Then talk to her family about it. If you two date that doesn't sound weird. In fact, it's kinda cute :)

Answer 3

if you guys really like each other, nothing should stop you from being together! i have a friend whose parents are over 10 years apart agewise, and they dont mind. they are one of the happiest couples ive ever seen, i think it could work. you arent a bad person, i dont know why that would make you a bad person. it would be perverted if she was still 15, but she isnt, she's an adult and so are you. some people might frown upon it or think its not right, but really if you two really truly like each other then it doesnt really matter what they think at all!

Answer 4

its leagal ;

x)

ahahah ... lols well if you really like her as much as you say ITS FiNE !

i had a friend who's parents were 20 years apart !

its finneeee.  

Answer 5

if her parents allow, she doesn't mind, its ok.

this way you can protect her etc.

Answer 6

no, you are NOT a bad person.

no, it is NOT weird.

is it normal?

let me ask you this.

is it normal to have to pee after drinking 3L of water?

Love doesn't know age, love doesn't know gender.

If you are both comfortable with the relationship, then why not?

ps. let the past be the past. you have both grown up alot since then.

dont worry about the fact that you use to give her advice on life, because im sure you still will now & forever.

sleepovers, parties, movies, whatever.

youve both grown since then.

hope this helps.

Answer 7

No you're not weird and the age difference is no big deal especially since you already know each other and know you have a lot in common.  You have been wise to wait until now, but since she has told you that she still has a crush on you, what are you waiting for?  The whole family probably wonders when you will finally come to your senses and ask her out.  You sound like a perfect couple....so get going and I wish you much happiness!!  ;D

Answer 8

i don't think its right for a 21 year old girl and a 31 year man to be dating because that is 10 years difference, and a bit disgusting.

Answer 9

you guys sound so cute together! i think you should definitely go for it like everyone else has been saying.  her entire family seems to love you and it just sounds like it will work out. good luck!

Answer 10

Im a big believer in fate, so no...not bad, just dumb if you let this pass you by.  Just be safe and take it slow.  

Answer 11

In the short run it sounds great.  But whats going to happen when she's 31, horny as h**l and still attracting lots of male attention.  

Answer 12

to date someone who is 10 years younger is in my book o.k. when you both feel the same way what i`m wondering is are you being totally honest with yourself?it seems a bit strange to me that you are trying to put all these obstacles in your way.also that you are putting to much emphasis on what people say.do you really like this girl or do you think you like her (in the going together way.)because all the other people are saying so and you think so many people can`t be wrong?or are you afraid that  if you go out with her what friendship you have with her and her family might be ruined when your relationship doesn`t work out?to be honest i have nothing personally against your relationship my mother was years older than my father and as women mature quicker than men 10 years doesn`t make that much different.i just feel you should be certain of your actual feelings and of what is really holding you back.you come over to me as you see her more in a brotherly light and that other people have put the idea in your head.also you seem to have a very high opinion of the girls father(more than for the girl itself.)that`s not wrong but as i said try to be more honest to yourself and review your relationship with the whole family and if you want to change that.

Answer 13

No, go for it.

Answer 14

Go for it! just remember to be sure of your feelings so that you don't toy with her.  It sounds beautiful.  Just respect her though :D

Answer 15

you both are at the legal age, so go for it. as long as you are both happy:)

Answer 16

uh....talk to her about it.

Answer 17

Nothing weird at all. Age is just a number.