Is it ok for a guy to hit a girl?

Question

my bf has a high temper and always swears. sometimes when he yells at me and swears at me i feel degraded. actually, we've been doing well lately and been together for almost five years. we usually always find ways to work things out.

the thing is...his temper bothers me a lot and i'm getting fed up. sometimes i don't like it when he yells and verbally abuse his siblings especially his younger brother who is really feminine-like.

today we fought which got into a big one. my bf was yelling at me, slamming everything in the house in front of his brothers and sisters. i was crying, grabbed my bag and was ready to run out. i passed him and wanted to hit him so bad. somehow, it just happened. i punched him in the stomach. it happened so fast. he got really angry came towards me and punched my on my side then pushed me against the wall. i have a small bruise on my leg. the thing is..i know it was wrong of me to punch him, but i dont think i can punch that hard. he's way taller than me (i'm 5 ft. and he's 5'11). i think its wrong for both sexes to hit each other. i dunno anymore. i know its my fault and i deserved it.

my bf came back in the room and told me i disrespected him (i know i did) and his family because i caused a scene. it happened in his room in front of his younger siblings. when he pushed me against the wall and fell to the ground..i was in a state of shock. even his siblings..they were shocked and silent.

i cried and told my bf that it was NOT RIGHT TO HIT A GIRL, but he told me that i hit him so he hit me too. i guess he was right.

Answer 1

First off it's never right to hit anyone unless they physically provoke it. You did and you were wrong but you know that. Second I don't believe in the whole I'm smaller than him bull as I've been hit myself by a much BIGGER fellow, out of anger, and it still didn't have the force behind it that some of my small comrades have it me with. So that's no way reason why he shouldn't hit you.

Despite all of the above however from what you explained the relationship is already in a horrible state the two of you should probably seek help or split. There's no reason to be in a relationship with anyone that can't show you, REAL, affection that you show them.

Answer 2

Not if you hit him first! Show some self control woman! You two shouldn't be together, it's time to call it a day.

Answer 3

its an unwritten code of conduct thang...only a pimp can slap his employee

Answer 4

It's not right for either.  But you need to get out of this relationship before you or he winds up badly hurt or worse.

Answer 5

Put simply, you started it and he reacted BUT: he actually made contact with you twice, if I have read this correctly.

Look at the rest of what you have written though: he is chronically abusive, he is disrespectful, he is, in short, a bully.

The argument that guys don't hit girls is not the issue here: there are times when it might be okay.  THIS is certainly not one of them, or if he responded physically it should not be out of proportion.  this was.

Get out.  Now.  Do something good for yourself and move on.

I would advise you to get some counselling.  This bloke is a complete tosser, and you need to find the right sort of man: one who is in control of himself, and respectful of others.

Answer 6

I personally do not believe a man should ever hit a woman.

However, he could argue that you hit him first, and he was using self defense.

If the two of you have such violent problems, I would consider leaving him.

Answer 7

i agree, get out of there, you deserve better. he has hit you ones if you stay he will do it again, it is never right to hit a girl no matter what. And verbal abuse is worse than fiscal abuse it can really mess you up and make you feel worthless, and you not.

you can always get better, there are alot of fish in the sea.

Answer 8

**** no its so wrong to hit a girl! If i was you i would either tell him if he does anything violent again you will leave him, or just straight out leave him now. The chances are he will hit you again if he already has, especially if he has a bad temper. I have a fairly bad temper but **** i would never hurt a girl!

well good luck....

peace

Answer 9

it's not right to hit anyone especially if you love them. Domestic abuse is never correct and should be stamped out. If you think that he only has an ager problem and that with help he can be a good partner then get him to see a psychiologist. But otherwise dump him.

Answer 10

No.  He was wrong in escalating the violence but you did start it.  You should get away from each other.

Violence is wrong for boys and girls, and only makes problems worse.

Answer 11

The guys got problems, he's a bully, you should leave him and don't look back, also if you hit people you can expect to be hit back, chivalry is more or less gone now.

EDIT Please add how the argument started, you have left that bit out so it reads as if he just flares up for no reason. I bet he had just caught you in bed with his brother.

Answer 12

If you punch him in the stomach, it is not at all surprising if he hits you back.  There is no reason why he should let you use him as a punch-bag.

However, it sounds like he has a really violent temper, and all that yelling etc might start to get you down after a while.  Perhaps you should look for someone a bit calmer?

Answer 13

no

Answer 14

no way.

Answer 15

No, that's very unethical to hit a girl. Your bf should be patient, humble and gentle enough. If he really loves you, he shouldn't have done it. I even have  girlfriend before and she always accused me of going out with other girls that's why she hits me but I never intended of hitting her back because I love her.

Answer 16

If he felt physically threatened by you, then it would have been acceptable for him to defend himself. But it sounds like he was more forceful than he should have been. And he does sound like an abusive person, at least verbally.

Answer 17

You are guilty of assault. You expect sympathy? You ain't getting it from me, having known a lot of violent women in my time I have absolutely no regard for a woman who ever resorts to violence, especially those who then play victim if they get a taste of their own medicine.

I personally don't hit women because I know I would be legally and socially crucified, but I believe fair is fair and if you hit others you have to expect the same in return.

Answer 18

This is the reason to stay away from men, boys, humans in general. They are insane. He shouldn't have hit you and if you're still with this dorkwad then you have some problems that need to be worked through. No, a man should never hit a woman unless she's about to kill him or he's at war and she's the enemy. Other than that it doesn't matter if you hit him first, he should walk away and dump you if he's that angry about it but he definitely shouldn't hit you. He certainly shoudn't justify it by saying you hit him first. He wasn't exactly kissing your feet and reading you poems when you hit him. He was yelling and throwing things around the room. And no, to my knowledge women do not hit nearly as hard as men do but men apparently have a very low tolerance for pain because some of them (like your boyfriend) sure do freak out when a girl hits them.

It is not your fault, he was verbally abusing you and this is the reason why I don't care that in some countries the men can go to jail for yelling at or verbally abusing a woman. As I have said before it usually leads to physial abuse.

Wow all these thumbs down,  I am sensing denial of the true male nature here. Women in lala land what could be better for the male population.

Answer 19

Violent behaviour or proclivity is unacceptable in society unless it's in the interest of self defense.

Answer 20

You are talking like a typical victim.  You're blaming yourself for everything and agreeing with all the c**p he's telling you.  He said you caused the scene and yet he's the one yelling at you and abusing his own family as well.  You are not to blame.  Yes, you snapped and punched him but that does not give him the right to punch you back and then you say it's your fault.  He has been the one doing the fighting, the yelling, losing his temper, whatever.  How can that be your fault?  Get out quick before you end up in hospital.  He will never change and it's never your fault.  It's what abusers do to their victims - make them feel responsible and guilty.

Answer 21

You should not be in any abusive relationship wether it be verbal,sexual or violent,no matter how long you have been with that person.

You deserve respect and to be with a nice partner who wouldnt put you through horrid things and upsets you alot of the time. Yes you can go through small stages where things are okay but it will come up again and again.......My advice from personal experience of being in an abusive relationship.....Get out of it now!

Answer 22

It is wrong for a man to hit a woman, even if she asks. Consider me old-fashioned, but I don't approve of any violence at all, especially against women.  

Answer 23

LEAVE HIM!

Answer 24

The problem is that you didn't aim for his lower right jaw (assuming your right handed).  close your four fingers in your fist then wrap your thumb around said fist (below the tips of the fingers, otherwise you'll break your thumb).  NO SELF RESPECTING MAN SHOULD EVER EVER CONSIDER HITTING A GIRL.  Dump the ***hole.  Find a man worthy of your company.  if he ever touches you in a disrespectful way again, and you feel threatened, the number is 911.  Send his a** to jail.

Answer 25

You did hit him first so you are to blame too. BUT he was rampaging all over the house so he did provoke it. You are both wrong. He has a bad temper and he made a huge scene that made you get a temper. YOU should have just walked away instead of hitting him.

Sorry but since you hit first it was natural for him to hit back. But he should have beenyelling and rampaging in the first place.

My advance you both should distance eachother for a while.

Answer 26

No, he's a f.uckwit. It's never right to hit a girl.

Leave him. he's done this so he'll have no hesitation in smacking you next time he's got the s***s.

Answer 27

Both of you need a break-up.  One of you will hurt the other one.  I honestly can't blame him for hitting you back once, because he probably lost it when you did that, especially considering he was already angry.  He went too far of course.

Both of you need anger management.  

Answer 28

Can't touch this......

Answer 29

I certainly hope that neither one of you ever has children.  Violence begets violence.