Is it ok that I don't want my mother in law to touch my pregnant belly?

Question

I don't really like when people touch me in general and have always been taught that touching people or being in their personal space is rude. So when my mother in law started pawing at my belly every chance she got, I read the articles online and very politely told her I did not feel comfortable with this. She said ok and seemed fine, but just the other day, she said "Oh and by the way, when the baby is kicking I will be feeling my grandchild kick, you will not deprive me of that" I was seriously offended that she demanded this of me. Is it ok that I don't want her to touch my belly or feel the baby move especially after talking to me in this way? Baby is already moving A LOT, don't want to tell her when it is now.

Answer 1

Tell her to back off.  Its not her right to feel the baby kick.  It was her right to feel her own children kick and if you don't want anyone touching you its your choice.  Its your body and your space.  If you don't want anyone to touch you then tell them no.  She can have her chance to touch the baby AFTER its born (and you'd rather not change that poopy diaper, lol).

Answer 2

I think your over reacting, its an exciting time for everyone involved , I think at least a compromise would be nice.  She is agreeing not to touch you any other time.  Letting her have that would be decent of you.  

Answer 3

You should have told her that you are not to be touched and that is that. If the woman doesn`t like it, then too bad. You will not be denied the right to

your own body and who touches it.

Do not let her bully you into doing what you do not feel comfortable doing. Next thing you know, she will be taking over how you handle and raise the child.

You do not want to have to handle that, so nip it in the bud and stand up for yourself. If the baby`s dad doesn`t like it, then tell him to let his mom rub and  paw at his gut instead.

Answer 4

Your body is YOURS, and she has no right to touch you, if you are in any way uncomfortable with it.

At this point, I would be blunt : "You will not be touching me. But don't worry; each time baby kicks me, I will be happy to kick YOU, so you don't feel "deprived" of MY experience."

Answer 5

Of course it's OK.  It's your body.  What others think or want you to do with it is immaterial.

Having said that, LOTS of people want to touch pregnant bellys, even strangers, so you will need to think of a good standard line to use to fend off the unwanted gropes.

Since you've made your preference clear to her and she's your husband's mother, its time for him to step in with her and set her straight.

If you don't want to be touched, that's it.  Its not up for discussion, debate or committee.  Have your hubby think of a tactful, yet firm way to tell his Mom, and then make sure he supports you if she violated that.  

Don't feel too bad, she'll have years to play with the baby once it's born.

Answer 6

tell her

Answer 7

While I agree with everyone that it is your body and right to let her or not.

Do some of you have to be so mean?  That is the grandma, she is excited and said out of love.  Give her a break.

Why don't you once in a while ask her to feel when the baby kicks.  I'm sure she would be content with a couple times.

Just remember it is done out of love for her grandchild.  That is her flesh and blood too.  Grandmas have feelings too.  

Answer 8

You've only got nine months of this baby to yourself. Then she can be with it all she wants. I agree with the first answerer. I think her son should step in and lay it out for her. Dr. Phil says being a grandmother is a privilege NOT a right. So you can deny her anything you want. It is not her RIGHT, to demand anything.

Answer 9

I sometimes was ofended by the constant pawing of my belly while pregnant, but there is no way to keep grandmas hands of baby. She loves your little one already and just wants to be close to him/her

Answer 10

It is your body, you decide who touches you and when. you do not owe her anything. She has no right to make selfish demands of you. Stand your ground, you are clearly right about this.

Answer 11

My MIL is the same.  I let her get a few touches and then that was it.  I HATE being touched and like you, I was taught it was rude to invade personal space, especially without permission.  So after a while I just flat out told her "Dont touch my belly anymore.  I hate being touched and always hated it."  Then she stopped for awhile but as it kept growing she kept trying to reach out for my belly so I kept putting my hands on it and backing away.  She finally stopped touching me.  If my mother in law ever said anything like what yours said, just tell her "MY body, my baby.  Please do not touch me." and say it sternly, sometimes that is the only way to get through to people.  

Answer 12

TONS of women don't like ppl touching their bellies.  How would she like it if you started groping her all of a sudden?  When I was pregnant, my husband and my mom were the only people who ever touched my belly.  My mother in law never touched it.  She used to watch it when the baby was kicking (once you're further along, you can really see it well).

A few times, ppl would come at me with their hands out and I would back away...lol.

Answer 13

its ok to fell that way its your body so why not your thinking of your baby and don't what it to be harmed because its a primal instinct      

Answer 14

Wow! she is bold! It is your belly and it is your right to tell her not to touch you. What does your husband say about this? maybe he should talk to her one on one.

Some pregnant women get annoyed by certain people during their pregnancy for some reason. I could not stand to be around my Grandmother for long periods of time when I was pregnant w/my daughter. Good luck w/this!!!

Answer 15

I would suck it up, let her touch it once and that be that. Otherwise she may keep bugging you and making rude comments. If she keeps insisting after that just tell her again that you are not comfortable.

People get weird about prego bellies. I didn't like anyone touching mine either unless it was my mother or something. Try to suffice her and see if that helps.You can't blame her for wanting to I guess.

Answer 16

I know exactly how you feel! And no there is nothing wrong with refusing to let people touch your stomach even if it is your mother in law. My husbands step mother tried the same thing and I told her I didn't want anybody touching my stomach. She can feel the baby kick and can play with them as much as she wishes when the baby is born but for now the baby is within you and you decide who is going to be feeling things. I was always taught that touching people without permission is rude too and I believe it is very rude for people to think they have the right to touch me just because I am pregnant. Just because you are pregnant doesnt mean that everything about you is public information. Some things are reserved just for the mother and if you wish the father....stick up for yourself there will be plenty of cuddle time when the baby is born.

Answer 17

Just like all the etiquette sites say, it is perfectly fine to ask people to stay out of your personal space, provided you do it politely. It is extremely rude of her to demand that of you. I suggest you bring the issue up with your husband as she is his mother and he should be the one to talk to her. He should really not only cover the issue of staying out of your personal space but the issue of what the appropriate way to address her daughter-in-law is.

Answer 18

I think it is fine that you don't want people touching your belly.  It is a little weird and people always want to touch pregnant bellies.

But, after she talked to you that way, I would definitely make it a point to not let her touch your belly!  She has no right and you are not depriving her of anything!  It is your body and your belly, and your baby.  

Make your husband deal with her on this. It's his mother and he needs to take your side and stand for what you want.