Is it ok that i am happy my husband is giving up custody of his "kid"?

Question

it is a long story, but her ie some info

A few years ago my husband and I had a split after our oldest was born. He slept with a woman it ended in a child, she is 10. My husband and I have never told our other children about her but my husband has supported and sometimes visited her. She knows him as dad and knows about my kids. I soon got sick of it and told his to choose. He chose us, now he is saying he wants to file to give her up. I am sooooo happy! sorry if you feel it is wrong but i don't

Answer 1

You are sick

this child is being given up by her father and you take joy in that? Wow what a selfish *****

Answer 2

It is so wrong of you on a lot of levels.  You glory in your victory by hurting a little girl who has already been terribly hurt.  Now you are gleeful that this man who is father to your children is going to shirk his responsibilities to one of his children.  This poor child will now loose the father she has had to share unequally until now and you act like somethng wonderful has happened.  She was going to ruin your family in your shallow selfish cold hearted opinion, so you ruin her life.  Be happy while it lasts because karma has one h**l of a comeback in store for you, lady.

No one profits on the pain of another, no good luck comes to those that celebrate the wounding of a child.  You had best pray that what goes around does not come back on you.  You are taking away this innocent child's partial contact with her father.  Suppose something came along and took him away from you and your children.  Should we do the happy dance then as you grieve?    You don't feel it is wrong only adds to your shame.  You will indeed reap as you have sown.

Answer 3

No, it's not OK for you to be happy.  How could you be so selfish?  She's only 10 years old!  She didn't ruin your family, your husband did when he slept with another woman.   He's the one you should give up.  Divorce him!  How could you even think of ruining an innocent 10 year old child's life?  Your children also need to know about their half sister.  

Answer 4

omg! u just fed her to the hyenas!!! i dont want to think what she will grow up to be in life!!! don't you ever think about other people's well being? some people can be so selfish!!! but when they are in need its up to the better person to take care of them.

Answer 5

So why did you even ask if it doesn't matter what we think?

My father did the same thing to me. He gave me up, came back, gave me up again, came back, and now, he says he is done. And I was born BEFORE the other two boys were!!

I was an innocent little kid. I didn't do anything wrong, HE did. And he should be the one being punished, not me.

It is the same with that little girl. She did not to a d**n thing wrong. Your husband should take responsibility for his child! And YOU should not stand in the way. This is frankly not really any of your business being that you two were split up when it happend.

I hope the mother sues the h**l out of you guys for child support. You deserve to pay up one way or another.

And when your kids find out, which they probably will eventually...they are going to look at it the same way if they have any sense.

You make me sick. Don't ask questions if you don't want honest answers, scumbag.

Answer 6

i think its natural that you're happy. but not something that ppl want to hear. but the truth is that, its all your hubby's fault and you shouldn't let him get away with it. first of all, he shouldn't have slept with that other woman. and if he did, he could use a rubber. or when he had that daughter, he could just walk out of her life back then. he has hurt so many people in so many ways. and the consequences of his actions will go a longgggggg way. you haven't written how that 10 yrs old gal was going to ruin your family?? is she trying to patch things between his dad and mom?? or is she being super bitchy to you?? if thats the case, you definitely did the right thing by not letting her in your house again. although it wouldn't bother if your hubby meets her somewhere else. or visit her once in a while. but thats entirely upto you. where is that other woman?? and what is her role in all this?? anyway, do whatever you have to do to save your family. thats the bottom line. good luck!

Answer 7

WOW!!!! is the right word here.I feel for you, but i also feel for that child who is going to lose her dad.Like you say its a long story and we don't know the full story,but i don't know if that is the best thing for a child to lose her dad over you not being able to handle the situation.If he is doing this to please you he will never forgive you if it all goes wrong,so you have to think you might end up being the one that loses.

I know every situation is different and it is easier to get rid of a problem than try to work it out, but you real need to think this whole thing through 110% before anything is decided.

Answer 8

Best for whom?  A child is out there without a father.  That little girl didn't choose to be born. What if things don't work out between you guys? Will it be all right if  he chooses to file and give up your kids? Was she going to ruin the fantasy that mom and dad never had problems in their relationship? If he does sign away his parental rights, it does not undo what is already done.Who will be left to explain what happened to the man that was her father for the last ten years?  Kids are a lot more resilient about things than we as adults are.  To you she represents a hardship in your marriage, but to your kids that is their half sister and it may be someone they want to know about in the future.  They will find out, skeletons have a way of coming out of the closet, and then they may be mad that they were cheated out of the opportunity to know their half sister.  I have an older half sister that I have never met, but would love to know.  For years no one talked about her, and then it was I work with rhonda Sue's momma.  I was like who is rhonda sue?  oh she is your half sister. She is just a year older than you.  I wonder what she looks like,if we have the same type of personality, if she has kids.  I will never know.When my dad left her mom and got married to mine, her mother cut off any ties with our family and no one has seen or heard from her.

Answer 9

You're a very selfish person, and God forbid your husband do to you what he has done to that poor little "mistake." You reap what you sow, Believe me, my father and his wife are experiencing that now. He left his family for another woman, now she's addicted to oxycotin and lies around the house all day, while my dad hooks up with random chicks on his business trips. He tells me all the time he wishes he could go back in time. Evil and selfish actions come back to haunt you in the end.  

Answer 10

So now a 10 year old child is hurt to make you feel good. What kind of dispicable person are you? Frankly you married to a skunk and loser for ever agreeing to abandon any of his children.

Answer 11

WOW that is cold. She will be devestated to know her dad gave her up, it will stay with her forever. First the scum bag cheats then he breaks a child's innocent heart--i could see if she was just born but not now that she knows him. You know only male dogs walk away from their pups.