Is it ok that my daughter (10) has a pretend boyfriend who is 19?

Question

She calls him her boyfriend he even takes her out places and buys her things. Is this just an innocent thing?

Answer 1

This is soooooooooooo not cool! At age ten, it's easy for a girl like that to lead onto things you might think she won't be getting herself into for years to come. For a 19-year-old to be okay with her, even if he has known her for her whole life, and okay with a girl that long is not right! I highly suggest you not to let her continue on with this. Please!

Answer 2

noo

cuz

a) some ppl might have the wrong idea that she might actually have a real one like u know little kids these dayss

b)ok she's 10 know with a pretend bf wut about when she is 19 how old is her real bf going to be 60?

c)she can be doing this for more attention fromt he girls at school?? i dunno...

strange stuff

Answer 3

I don't know. It sounds a bit fishy to me.

Whose idea was it to have the "pretend boyfriend" anyway?

Keep an eye out...

Answer 4

It is illegal to be a couple when one of the people is above 18 and the other isn't. Who is this 19 year old? If it is a family friend and she just calls him her boyfriend playfully and he knows the boundaries of their relationship (it should be similar to that of an older brother and little sister) then it should be alright as long as you trust him. If it is a random person, get him away from your daughter for her own safety and well-being.

Answer 5

all i can say is d**n...don't people read...PEOPLE the key word is a PRETEND boyfriend...but i totally agree with the person  "Tell it like it is" she said it perfectly....and kids that age mimic other people..so she's learning it from family or friends or TV...anyway it comes..that is why parents have to watch what they say and do around kids and see who their friends are and watch what they are seeing on TV...but like I said the other responder said it great.....talk with her....you know i have  afriend that needs to keep her big mouth to herself..she's always saying "OH man I need to lose weight...I'm gaining weight"...(she's like 20 lbs maybe)..and now her little girl says it!!  what the heck is that....but my 7 year old actually turns red when she sees one of her gymnastic teachers..who just turned 20!!!  I told her father we were in trouble sooner than we thought!

Answer 6

no that is not ok

i know who have known him since he was 11 but still he's 19 now

and your child is 10

i think you should explain to her now, that this not a real relationship and it's not ok

Answer 7

im sure its innocent but i would explain to her that in real life it is not ok to have a boyfriend that is too much older then you (not until you 18 of course) and as far as the guy taking her places and buying her things i think maybe she has a mixed impression on what a b.f. is explain a b.f. is a partner not a daddy whoo spoils you! other then that she is fine!

EDIT: i think people are misreading your question he is a PRETEND boyfriend ie made up, imaginary etc.... wow people calm down

Answer 8

You have to ask. what . it is not ok

Answer 9

Why are you letting a 19 year old adult take your 10 year old child out to places?

Answer 10

i dont think so :(

Answer 11

How is this pretend? Why in the world would you let a nineteen year old take your ten year old out? I would be calling the police.

Answer 12

I'd just look out for him to be doing anything to her....tell her that he is too old to be her boyfriend and talk to him and tell him to tell her that shes his best friend not boyfriend. Hope that helps.

Answer 13

It would be okay for her to have an older friend that took her places, kind of like an uncle. But if she (or heaven forbid he) is at ALL thinking of this really as boyfriend/girlfriend then that would worry me. Even an imaginary boyfriend of 19 would be a little worrisome (why wouldn't she imagine him a lot closer to her own age), but actually going on "dates" with a 19 year old man that she even pretends is her boyfriend -- well I would put a stop to that. We are letting our young girls get sexualized far too early. Who knows how far this fantasy is going in her head. You need to sit her down and have a serious talk with her before she ends up with a 19 year old for real!  

And have a talk with the young man as well. What the heck is going on in his head? I don't care how long you've known him, lots of neighbors have thought dangerous criminals were nice also. I'm NOT saying he's a criminal, I'm just saying people misjudge others all the time. And what kind of 19 year old wants to hang with a 10 year old?

Just be careful. She's too young for this.

Answer 14

I dont think that, that is a good thing... he his 19 yrs old... why are you even letting your lil girl go out with older guys WAY older!!!... hey it might be true maybe they are dating... you cant trust no one!!!... my mom never let me have older girl-friends and specially older guy-friends... you are crazy letting your lil girl go out with that guy!... when she comes home with a belly dont say NOTHING...

Answer 15

No I don't think it's innocent.  Do you know how many young girls are molested every year.  My daughter just turn 11 on the 29th and I will not let her go anywhere with a 19 year old man.  How can you not see anything wrong with this?

Answer 16

I would seriously question why a 19 yr old boy would want to take your daughter places, even if you have known them for 8 yrs seems kinda odd to me.

Answer 17

It is totally NOT ok. My older sister is 8 years older and so I had 'pretend' boyfriends but they were not allowed to take me out or buy things for me, that's what my parents were for. In all 50 states and districts that would be illegal if he wasn't 'pretend'.

Answer 18

Most people automatically assume that something bad is going on.  The world we live in, it is a fair assumption, I suppose, but may not be accurate.

I would certainly like to believe it is an innocent relationship.  You have known the guy a long time, and I assume you must trust him or you would not be letting your daughter go with him.

I think you should talk to him and have him tell your daughter that he is not her boyfriend, that he is just her friend.  That a boyfriend is someone really super special and that it is usually a boy that is about the same age as her.

I would also talk to her and subtly ask questions about what they do when they are out, what they talk about, etc...  

You might trust this guy and everything my be innocent as can be, but I don't care if the guy is a Saint... you simply can not risk anything, especially something as potentially damaging as this would be if it is not innocent.

But pls be subtle about it.  If it is simply an innocent relationship, you don't want to tarnish it.  

It is a slippery slope and the best solution would probably be to end this relationship.  Which truly sucks if it is innocent.  But you simply can't risk anything when it comes to your kid.

Or better yet, simply make sure that they are never alone, that way they could still be friends and you take away the risk of something bad happening.  I would also keep a good eye on him, it would seem that you would be able to tell just by watching if he is having thoughts he shouldn't have.

Answer 19

She is acting out reality. its okay just watch her and him and what she sees real couples do.

Answer 20

I dont see a problem with it, She has a crush on him. Totally normal. I remember when my daughter was younger and wanted to marry me. At 10, Kids dont know what a boyfriend and girlfriend is.

Answer 21

I babysitt a little girl that does the same thing. Eventually it passes, i don't think there's anything to wrong..just try to keep what she says about it to a minumum..and promote saying "there's other fish in the sea..."

or something to steer her away from it.

:D

Answer 22

WELL ILL BE OK IF ITS A PRETEND ONE BUT NOT IF IT 19! THATS 9 YEARS AHEAD OF HER SHE BETTER BE REALY PRETTY TO HAVE HIM! :-)

Answer 23

And you think this is oh so cute....no. Wake up. This is not a good thing in this day and age. A 19 year old taking her places and buying her things? These are what we call "grooming" behaviors....of a pedophile. Now, before you go overreact, I am merely stating a fact here. It may be sweet and innocent, but in your gut your know better. As a teacher or someone who is trained in watching out for such behaviors and they will tell you the same thing I just did. LOOK IT UP ON LINE: and please wake up. This is how kids get molested and raped and damaged for life...you are responsible for her, please act like it.

Answer 24

umm 10 no and a 19 year old no h**l no are you stupid for real how do you know he isnt doing something wrong to her

Answer 25

I am sorry but are you nuts? Kids need to be kids, they have enough to deal with as far as upcoming teenage angst and peer pressure. Even a pretend boyfriend could start her thinking of things she's not ready for. She needs alot of guidance and probably more attention. Or...she is just pulling your chain.

Answer 26

well, i would be extremely careful about that. i know where you are coming from. they could just be friends that have fun together and your daughter has a crush. but, with all the things happening on the news with kidnappings and stuff i would be very careful with that. i wouldnt let them out together for more than an hour and if they come back late at all discontinue the whole thing.  dont expect her to be 100% honest, but ask what they do together, you never can really be sure. i am 12 so you can take my advice or leave it, but does he seem like a nice and respectful young man, or not?