Is it ok to change the first name of a child from Africa?

Question

With our older adopted child, we kept the first name that her First mother gave her. Now with our younger child, we have changed her first name and made her Ethiopian 1st name her middle. Our concern is that, we know she will be different with being adopted and having a white family. Her Ethiopian name is very long and very difficult to say. We know how mean kids are and wanted to give her a more American name so that there was one less thing that would make her different. Are we wrong? We truly want what's best for her.

Answer 1

I agree with what you did.  I was not adopted but had an Egyptian last name that NO one could pronounce.  It was very embarrasing.  I think it would be just another thing to make her feel "different" (not necessarily in a good way).  I would give her an ultra American name either.  Maybe a nickname from the original would work well as a new first.

Answer 2

Whatever she feels is what you should do.  You should explain to her the pros and cons, along with why it is necessary to do this.  You could simply do what you did for the younger child so that she doesn't feel like she lost a name that she was born and raised with.

Answer 3

if the child is older you could ask them for a nick name or shorter version of their name that may be easier to pronounce or you can find an english similar or equivalent name

if not then i think it is totally acceptable

Answer 4

As parents of this child I'm sure you gave a lot of thought to your decision. As long as the name feels right to your child and your family then you are not wrong in your decision.

Answer 5

I think it depends on how old she is.  If she is still young enough that she won't remember the change, and you acknowleged her heritage through her middle name, then that's fine.  If she is old enough to understand, however, I think it's a good idea to give her a choice in the matter.  The most important thing is that she knows she is a member of a family that loves her and wants her.  Acknowleging and celebrating her heritage along the way will also be very important.  I think you are doing a wonderful thing.  I have given birth to two beautiful boys, and have a third on the way.  We are very blessed.  But I also dream of one day adopting a child in a difficult circumstance and giving them a chance that they otherwise may not have had.  Hopefully we will be able to do just that.  God bless you and your family.

Answer 6

yesh you can change it.

Answer 7

hi mom5girlz..

honestly, i have deep philisophical issues about name-changing.  the most salient for me, is that naming is very important in many cultures (especially african cultures) and to change that name due to it's unfamiliarity or difficult pronunctiation, doesn't sit well with me.

you and i have spoken off-board, so i think i have a good gauge as to your sensitivity towards your daughter's culture. yet, i must say that learning the name and defending her against discrimination due to her name/race/ethinicy IS a part of being sensitive to your daughter's culture.  no matter how "europeonized" we make african or african-american children, they will at some point face racism.  and changing names won't diminish that reality...albeit, an ugly reality.

hence, why it's very important for anyone considering trans-racial/trans-cultural adoption to address.

also, i do think that american culture is very insensitive to others/names that are unfamilar.  yet, i do not think that conformity is the answer. someone mentioned that "kids can be cruel" and changing her name will make is easier for her... i disagree.  for if a name was all that was needed to thrawt racism, many with "traditional names" who happend to be minority, would face no stigma nor discrimination. that simply is not the case.  

personally, i wouldn't do it.

be well.

Answer 8

If she's only two, I would make her current first name her middle name and give her an easier to spell and say first name.  Your reasons are correct...you aren't trying to make her white or trying to deny her heritage as you will be accused of, you're trying to make it easier for her.

Or, you could leave her first name as it is legally and call her by her middle name, but then she'll always have to correct people.

What does her name mean?  Try and find an easier name with the same meaning....then you are keeping with her name.

Answer 9

I have two children from Ethiopia, and I know what you're talking about. Some of the names are just very long and difficult for Americans to pronounce, and you think about your child having to spell it out and teach the pronunciation all the rest of their lives.  

With my daughter, her name was short and  we were able to give her a cute nickname from it, so she's happy.

My son's name sounds just like a very popular American girl's name.  Since there's a masculine version of that name, we changed his first name to that and put his Ethiopian name in the middle.  (Think about your son going around being Denise, Andrea, or Patricia).

I know a family whose son's given name was Vahmit (pronounced 'vomit').  They found out that the name meant 'peace' or 'blessed', and gave him a name with the same meaning.

So, yes, sometimes it's ok to change a child's name.

Answer 10

I think what you did is ok.. I probably would have gone about it differently leaving her first name and giving her an American Middle name and then just calling her by the American name so that when she is older she can decide for herself what she wants to be called. but she is your baby, do what you feel is necessary! :)

Answer 11

I don't think you're wrong.  I think you did what you thought was best for your child.  I'm glad you kept it as her middle name.

---------------

Nicknames for MEDEHANIT:

Mede (mee-dee)

Dehan (dee-ann)

Ani (an-ney)

Answer 12

My African born children also have very ethnic sounding names.  We added American middle names, but both children continue to use their first names.  My daughter has gotten a little teasing about her name and has inquired about using her middle name instead.  We told her that it was completely up to her, we can use whatever name she prefers.  She's still thinking about it, but I'd be surprised if she changes it.

Otherwise, my children haven't had any major issues with their birthnames.  Other children seem to find their names to be interesting and unique.  Many African American children have very ethnic/African sounding names.  It's becoming more and more common.  

Children coming to the US from Africa, or any other country, bring very little with them.  Their names are one of the few things from their homeland that are /theirs/.  I really advise against changing it.  You can always add an American middle name and later on, use that name if she prefers.

Answer 13

You've pretty much answered your own question here with cautious insight on why it IS a good idea to give the child a more American name.  In fact, you should have changed your other child's name as well.

Believe me: it's not just school children who can be mean out there in this world--adults and the workplace too can be just as cruel as well.

I've never believed giving children radically "stand-out" names gives any of them chances at a happier better life.

GOOD CHARACTER, not a strange name, gives a child, a fair shot at a happy and positively productive life.

Change their names to something better, however will greatly lessen their exposure to the world's cruelities.

Answer 14

Keep her name as her first name, and call her "Meddie".  It's one letter different than Maddie.

She will be grateful (really!) someday!

By the time she's in H.S. her name will be considered the coolest thing!

Answer 15

my name was changed four times, and i certainly did not appreciate it.

is it possible to keep her name and make a shorter nickname out of it?

she's already lost her family, her country.  can you please think about not taking this away, too?

that's not meant to be snarky.  i meant it sincerely.

:)

Answer 16

I would at least keep a middle name that reflects her heritage

Answer 17

I think your amazing for wanting the best for her! My opinion is give her a cute nickname.... Teachers also use nicknames for kids if you let them know..

Changing her name would be ok but I personally would leave it. I'm sure it's a Strong name and one day she will understand how important her name is!

I think It's important for her to be proud of where she comes from, no matter what!!!!!