Is it ok to correct your spouse in front of your kids?

Question

My wife lately grabbed a sponge from my 3 year old son who is supposed to be helping me sponging the table. Naturally, my son wailed and cried. I saw the situation and immediately reprimanded my wife not to do such thing and she explained that it is just right coz my son actually is soaking it with lots of water and messing the table more than helping and she is scared of any health problems that might occcur. Is she right? If yes was what she did justifiable or I am right?

Answer 1

We all do it even though we probably shouldn't. try not to but it is going to happen on both sides of the coin.

Answer 2

No that is not ok. You should always go to your spouse away from the kids. When you do that in front of the kids that shows them that they can play you two and that hurts a marriage. Right or wrong..these disagreements need to be taken away from the child.

Answer 3

Neither one of you are right.  You both handled the situation incorrectly.  She should have redirected the child better by giving your son something else to wipe the table with (you should never use a sponge with water) and you should never have reprimanded your wife.  You both need some tips on appropriate ways to handle situations.

Answer 4

It depended how you approached the situation.  It is always best to wait until the two of you are alone to discuss a difference of opinion about children.  It's called respect.

Answer 5

It is best to discuss the situation later when the kids aren't around.  Parents should try to keep up a united front to the children and handle any differences in opinion in private.

Answer 6

You are both right--you were right in giving your son the chance to try to learn to clean the table--he won't learn to clean if he's not given the chance. He won't get health problems from wiping a table down. At the same time, you should never reprimand your wife in front of your kids. Next time, take her into another room, explain why he was doing it and why you had him helping, and let her go back out and explain why she jumped to conclusions and that she didn't know you gave him permission and explain why it can be bad. If she does not agree with you, then your job is to go out there and explain that you were wrong to give him the sponge because of all of the yucky germs inside of it and that next time he needs to wear rubber gloves.

Answer 7

I let my kids clean all the time of they want too. if she is worried about germs, then she re-cleans once your son has finished. Shes a mother, thats what we do. She is just discouraging him to be independent. When he refuses to clean up his toys etc, then I bet she will be complaining.

Plus there is a matter of communication. If your allowing your son to do something and she wont, its creating mix messages for him. In my family, I am soul carer ands my partner works, and when it comes to the kids, something they want to do, he geneally will run it by me first, away from the kids

Answer 8

my husband and i go over this same topic its ok to have a difference of opinion but take your wife aside and adress it . children will see enough fighting in their lifetimes they dont need to see their parents.

Answer 9

If she does something mean or wrong to your child when you're directing your child, yes I agree with you.  Your son will have more confidence and she'll have a table that she'll have to rewash.  I agree that you should stick up for your son in front of her.  He was doing something good.  How do kids learn if they don't practice?  He's not going to be perfect at 3.  Let him wipe the table, then either you or her can rewipe it after to soak up the extra water.  Your wife needs to learn which battles to choose!

Answer 10

wives are not children to be "reprimanded".

Answer 11

It is never acceptable to "reprimand"  or correct your spouse in front of your children.  It shows a house divided and children are quick to play one parent against another. It is disrespectful and it teaches the child to be disrespectful. I would advise both of you to apologize to each other in front of the child.  Your wife should apologize for not coming to you as the authority figure in the situation and asking you to take the sponge from him and replace it with something more suitable since this was your project.

You of course should apologize for belittling her in his eyes.  Make a plan from now on as to how you will approach teaching him. If she sees something she does not agree with, she should pull you to the side and speak quietly to you about it and vice versa. Always present a united front in the area of discipline or instruction, so the child/children will not look for loopholes in the future.