Is it ok to get married by a jp then have a larger wedding later on?

Question

Ok, so my fiance lives in North Dakota and I live in Pennsylvania. He is in the military and doesn't have much leave for the rest of this year and I have one day of vaction for the rest of this year and am unable to take time off for leave. Our familys will be upset if we just do a jp but we both don't have time or money right now to do the whole wedding thing plus we want to be together soon and i wont move until i am married. Should we do the jp thing now then next summer do the actual wedding?

Answer 1

I personally find having the larger wedding later on just a crock (for lack of a socially acceptable word).   Get married.  Have a large reception later on.  

Now, of course the exception to this is that in some religions, you either need to have your marriage blessed or be married again for it to be recognized. That is a different story.  Your families will get over it, but do have both sets of your parents present, if possible for the jp wedding.  That is a real wedding, btw.

We've had several soldiers in the 6 block neighborhood get married with less than 3 weeks planning. They had lovely weddings that were impromptu but heartfelt.  One got back for a long spell this past May and they had a large reception that not only welcomed him back but celebrated their marriage.

Answer 2

yea just get married now and then you can have the big reception later (that's all you can have cause you will already be married)

Answer 3

Yes, this is fairly common. Remember that you will be legally married by the JP - the later ceremony will be just for show. Alternately, you can be married by the JP whenever, and have a big party/reception next summer, without having to plan a complete ceremony - you can have dancing, wedding cake, and repeat your vows without having to go through the whole ordeal at the church.

Answer 4

actually this sort of double marriage has been getting kind of popular i heard. if you really want to get married now, i think you should tell your parents about the jp wedding so it can just be them and you two (im sure they still want to be involved).

however from the sound of things you two might not actually have time to enjoy being newly married (honeymoon, etc). it might be disappointing to get married and then immediately be separated for a long time. it sounds like you are not resolved yet about which to do, so i'd discuss it with your family and fiance a little more. personally, i think you guys should wait. one year is nothing considering you will be married forever.

Answer 5

I think your just being silly.  you wont move with him unless he marries you?  sounds like conditional love to me.  I personally think the JP thing with the big wedding later is stupid.  a wedding is a one time thing so do it right the first time or be satisfied with your JP wedding.  also...the wedding next summer would be a vow renewal as you cant get re-married to someone your already married to.

Answer 6

The reality is your wedding day is the day you get married -- at the courthouse or in a cathedral or anywhere in between -- it matters not. Once you are married you are a wife and not a bride. That is a great thing -- it is the beginning of the rest of your life. We hope.

What you can do a year from now or whenever is have a blessing of your vows in the church or a renewal of vows.  With that:

You CAN have an attendant each stand up with you while you renew your vows or the clergyperson blesses them. But five or six bridesmaids would be tacky.And they would not be bridesmaids.

You CAN have a great entrance but not with the bridal march and you and your husband should come in together -- it is not a bridal promenade and no one is giving you away. You will already be husband and wife.

You CAN wear a beautiful dress -- even a white one. But think Carolyn Bessette Kennedy -- something sophisticated and understated rather than a big foufy white thing. And you cannot wear a veil.

You CAN even have a unity candle or sand ceremony if you wish -- but you will have to change the wording quite a bit.

You CAN have the biggest party your dreams and budget will allow. But you won't be introduced for the first time as husband and wife or anything if you have a dance or whatever.  And no garter or bouquet toss or money dance or anything strictly bridal like that.

You CAN have a gorgeous cake as long as it does not have a bride and groom figurine on top.

You CAN have a registry and most any pre-ceremony party you want: brunch, lunch, cocktail party, beer and pizza -- but not a bridal shower because you will not be a bride and not a bachelorette because neither of you will be bachelors/singles.

You CAN go away together and when you book the hotel you CAN say you are on your honeymoon...finally...explain that the HONEYMOON had to be delayed because of your military service and I would bet they would do up the special suite very beautifully for you.

So...you can have a beautiful ceremony and reception but your marriage will have already started the day you go to the justice of the peace so the ship will have sailed on your wedding.

Best wishes on your MARRIAGE.

Answer 7

You should have the wedding that you want the first time. If you want a regular wedding then wait until that can happen. If you don't want a regular wedding hten go ahead. But don't go to the JP juts because you want to be married right this minute. You will not be happy that you gave up your wedding just because of time. If you wait then you can slowly gather and purchase what you want for your wedding and then it will all came together in the end.

Answer 8

Generally speaking, a lot of people will be offended if you have a full-blown wedding after a JP ceremony, and if you don't tell them, they'll be insulted when they do find out. (If your family is like mine, they will. Trust me.)

Is there any reason why you won't move and live separately? THat might be a better choice. Marriage is more than a certificate to you, it sounds like, and you might even regret not having an actual ceremony for your first one.