Is it ok to go on a solo vacation to avoid the step children (teenagers) when they visit for summer break?

Question

I feel like a third wheel and would rather be some place I enjoy and be relaxed. I have no children of my own and have no desire to procreate. I just want some alone time.

Answer 1

you joined to ask this?

I'd say go. give them a break.

Answer 2

I'd go if you are just going to be miserable the kids will too and the important thing is that they see their dad.

Answer 3

When you decided to marry a man with children, you became a parent whether you like it or not.  So be an adult, woman up, and get to know your kids.

Answer 4

Better to do your own thing than make yourself (and everyone else) miserable. They aren't your kids and you aren't raising them. If your hubby is ok with it than I say take a vacation.

Answer 5

When you married your husband, you married his children, they are a part of him.  I think it is wrong to take off.  You are part of that family, like it or not.

Answer 6

I'm sure the kids would rather you weren't there, if you feel that way about them.

It's kind of sad that you tied yourself & your spouse up in a marriage with each other, when there's this huge part of him, his life, what makes him who he is, that is so abhorrent to you that you just want to pretend it doesn't exist.

How does that play out in the dynamic between the two of you?  It can't feel good.  Just try to imagine how you would feel if your spouse said "I love everything about you, except for the way you <fill in something that is a huge part of your life & the journey that took you to the place where you met him>".  

Why tie yourselves to each other, if you're not happy with each other, as you are?

Answer 7

How about if you hang around long enough to have a nice dinner with these kids and make an attempt to be friendly.  Then if you see that they and their father would be better off on their own, you can bow out.  

There is no sense in everybody being miserable for a whole summer or however long they are staying.

Pre-plan this with your husband of course, and let him know it's for everybody's sake, not just because you want the easy way out.