Is it ok to hate your mother in law???

Question

Getting married in three weeks and i just can't stand her to the point were i can no longer hold my tongue, out of respect to my future wife i just bite my lip!!!!

Is it common for the groom/bride to just hate the in-laws???

Answer 1

yes i hate mine, she doesn't think I'm good enough  

Answer 2

My mother-in-law can't stand me or my three kids! I tried to get on with her, but she just couldn't handle the fact I took her son away from her, and that he was happy with me n the kids. She threw us out of her house a month ago and left us homeless, so yeah, I hate her more than anything, and by hurting us, she's lost her son for good too cos he know longer wants to know her! So yeah, it's fine LOL.

Answer 3

Of course it's not OK. But I think it may be a normal way to feel.  I don't care for my mother in law, either. I don't know too many people who actually like them. We may tolerate them, but that's all.  

Answer 4

I feel the same about my own mother.

that aside its best to let your partner know and so she can help avoid you two being near each other. Your doing well to keep respect for your future wife and for yourself.

I've seen loads of situations like this and you can either bear it and keep your self respect or let loose and ruin things for everyone and you would come out worst off as it would seem to root out from you when its perfectly clear its the opposite party.

good luck, for getting over the next few weeks as no doubt you will have to see your m-i-l. but you don't have to see her after (but remember not to impose this on your wife!)

Answer 5

Yes.

I hate my father in law - he is a complete bully and has done nothing but belittle and criticise me since the day I met him.  I can't stand the man.  

Immediately after we got married the first thing he said to me was 'You've done very well for yourself marrying my son'.

He is a complete a**e and I hate him.  I don't hate many people at all, but he is not worth my time of day!

So yes, your situation is probably a lot more common than you think.  

Answer 6

I have disliked my mother-in-law for a long time. She does not like me either. We are like the Monster-in-law movie. But, I try harder to be nice to her, just cause she is his mother. He doesn't like mine either, so I think its just normal for one of the parent-in-laws to give the bride/groom a hard time.  

Answer 7

This happens sometimes everybody is so different we cant get on with everybody as each one of us is so different. I think you've got to hold your tongue out of respect for your wife maybe once your married you can talk it all over with your new bride and see what she suggests you do about it. My husband and I don't get on with our Daughter In Law but we put up with her little and often for the sake of our son who we adore sometimes you've just got to be brave and put up with awkward situations in life and this is one of those. I'm sure your be fine good luck to you both on your wedding day I hope all goes well for you both.

Answer 8

yes mother in law  driver is in sane

Answer 9

i cant stand my husbands mum at all,but i try not to complicate matters. luckily my hubby agrees with my views,but its still his mum at the end of the day.

Answer 10

its not okay..but alot of wives/husbands and mothers in law have difficulty establishing a relationship...

the best thing to do since theyre gonna become a part of your life is to try to come to an understanding that for the sake of the spouse that you should try to get along..

Answer 11

it's perfectly natural

Answer 12

join the club, my husbands mum and dad drive me nuts, I just don't visit there house anymore and luckily for me they don't call to ours very much.

Answer 13

Hello, here's a word from the wise. hate is such a strong word to use when you speak of people,just say you dislike the way things are when it comes down to your in-laws.Give her or him the deserve as the older figures in your life. just think if you have children they too will observe your behavior in hating your in-laws, ok.

Answer 14

I'm getting married in 3 weeks also and I am getting to the point that I can't stand his mother.  All was well for the first 4 years but now that she is not getting her way for my wedding, she is making everyone on edge and uneasy.

I finally told her that I was brought up with respect but I was also taught to speak my mind and state my opinions.  I haven't heard from her since.

You will need to let your fiance know that you are getting to the point of disliking your future mother-in-law and ask her for suggestions.  If she doesn't want you to say anything then ask her to speak for you.  It is important that the issue gets resolved before the wedding because it will be an uncomfortable at holidays and family functions if it's not.

Answer 15

i think this happens a lot.  you are both fighting to be the 'one main person' in your wife's life.  as a mom, it's difficult to let go.  believe me, i know this personally.  give mom time and understanding. i had to learn when my daughter got married that he was now her family/main person.  that my relationship with her had to change as she was grown with a family of her own.  we are now friends and can talk about so much more than we use to.

maybe take mom out to lunch (just the 2 of you) and have a chat with her and let her know that you understand and that the 2 of you should work together.

Answer 16

Yes, there are many people who have issues with in laws..try to make a list of needed boundaries for this relationship so that you maintain your peace of mind and not allow the in law to control you in how you react to them

Answer 17

i thought it was tradition? hehe

I don't like my boyfriends dad so i know how you feel. :)

Answer 18

It's not just OK - I think it's actually a requirement! However, look very carefully at your future mother in law - you future wife is likely to develop some of her traits over time and may end up looking like her as well!

Good luck!

Answer 19

Hate is way too strong of an emotion.   Of course there are tons of Mother In Law jokes ( probably for a good reason ).  If you truly truly love your wife to be you have to work out some strategies to make this a workable situation and you have to work this out with her now or you are in for a whole lot of grief in the future.  

No matter what kind of witch this woman is she is still your brides mother and when you have kids your bride will want and possibly even need her mother ( there are some things that go along with that process that you may not want to have to deal with ).

The best strategy is to be super open with your wife about this right now so that she can help.  If it is that you disagree with the way the woman lives her life then you just need to remember the live and let live philosophy.  If the problem is that she butts into your lives then you have to set up some boundaries now that your wife and you both agree on.  If it is that the woman gets drunk and says stupid things then you have to have strategies to avoid those situations.  If it is just that she says stupid things (and there is no alchohal involved - she is just stupid ) then you need to have conversation strategies so that you can talk to her civily.  Think of neutral conversation points before talking with her and then you can somewhat control the conversation.

You will be running into her at holidays and other family events so just be ready.  If you know that you are about to burst and may not be able to hold your tongue then make sure that you have a policy of never drinking when you are around her - or there is a much higher possibility of saying something that you and your wife will regret later.

The good news is that you know that you have problems with your Mother in Law going into it so there is really no place to go but up from here.

Make sure to talk this out with your wife right away,  make a game of getting along with your mother in law, have your wife give you a gold star everytime you are well behaved around her, and perhaps an even bigger reward for 5 gold stars, and keep your interactions with her at a tolerable amount of time exposure.

Good Luck!