Is it ok to invite people to your wedding if....?

Question

you haven't talked to them in a few years, but would like to reconnect. Or friends that I just got back in contact with that live far away?

I just don't want them to think that I am inviting them to get a gift. I feel like this would be a great way to reconnect.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I think the "Golden Rule" applies here.  Try and put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel/react if the roles were reversed.  If you can genuinely say that you'd be delighted to get a wedding inviation from them and wouldn't feel "used" for a gift, then send the invitation.  If there is any doubt in your mind, don't send it.

The invitation is not in and of itself an obligation to get your a gift.  They certainly have the option to decline to attend, to send a gift, or both.

If you aren't in contact with them now, you don't have much to lose.  But those you have recently reconnected with may feel that this was your ulterior motive.

As for actually reconnecting through this event, don't count on it, unless you are inviting them to a bridal shower, bachelorette party, or more intimate function--you won't have time to reminisce much or catch up at the actual wedding/reception itself as you will be much too busy mingling with all the other guests.  You might also take into consideration how much expense would be involved in the person attending, and how many other people at the reception they would know to mingle with.  If they don't know any of your other friends or family, it could be a boring and awkward day for them.

Answer 2

if you haven't talked to them in a while, you should reconnect before the wedding.  

Invite everyone that is important in your life and you can't always tell them no gifts please, esp for the people that would have to travel.

Answer 3

I wouldn't be too thrilled if someone popped back into my life with a wedding invite. You might think about calling, writing or emailing them first and establishing a new connection rather than just sending a wedding invite

Answer 4

course it wud be fine. they have probably forgotten.

its time to get on with it.

who cares if they dont come they wont spoil ur day then.

anyway why make so much fuss. its ur special day. enjoy it.

Answer 5

it all depends on the type of wedding you want.  lots of times, people that live far away wont always be able to make it out to your wedding partially because of the cost of flying to the wedding location, hotel, and rental car if they need it.  but as far as inviting them to your wedding to reconnect, it probably wouldnt be that great of an idea unless it was someone that was really close to you for a long time.  if your are looking to reconnect with someone, send them an email to catch up, and from there calling them to reconnect wouldnt be a problem.  if it was family though, that is a different story.  personally, i would always invite most of my family and relatives (i have a lot of relatives though, and with some being not quite so civilized, i am not sure that i would invite everyone).  i don't think you should have to worry about them feeling like you invited them just to receive a gift though.  i would be more worried about not inviting someone, then risk them being offended for you not inviting them to the wedding.

Answer 6

i would send something to the ones that you have already reconnected with.  the ones that you haven't talked to in a few years i would put near the bottom of the list to invite.  i agree with what autumn... something or other said about putting on "no gifts please" as a way to show them that you want them there because of reconnecting.  the other ones that you haven't reconnected with yet i would send an announcement that you did get married and your address so that way they can contact you.

Answer 7

Yes, definitely invite them, if you sincerely hope they can make it. And maybe put a small note in the envelope with the invitation, saying something like "I know we've been out of touch lately, but I've been thinking about you and hope you are well. It would mean so much to me if you could come and share our special day."

Answer 8

I think it is a lovely idea. If they are that important to you that you want to invite them to your wedding, i am sure that they will not think that it is just a ploy to get a gift. Besides, by having more guests, it will actually cost you more so I'm sure they will know that you genuinely want them there.

Answer 9

Well you can always invite them but I would include a personal note or contact them ahead of time before sending the invite.  

Answer 10

I think you should invite them. Weddings are times to celebrate with people, and these people are obviously people you want there to celebrate with you. They don't have to get you gifts, or anything big. Do what you want! Its your wedding!!

Answer 11

Sounds like a great idea.. but u might  want 2 reconnect with them b4 ur wedding so that way  it would be less akward.  

Answer 12

Why do people always assume that people have weddings in order to get gifts? It's ridiculous. Just don't worry about the gift thing. If you don't ask them for a gift, they're stupid if they think that's why you're inviting them.

Anyway, I agree with you that it would be a great way to reconnect with these people. I've gone to the weddings of friends I haven't spoken to in years. In fact, depending on how close you used to be, they still might be a bit insulted if you don't invite them.

Basically, invite everyone you want. If they don't want to come, they won't. Of course, don't expect that they will all want to come, especially the people who live far away, but there's still absolutely nothing wrong with inviting them.

Answer 13

An idea might be be to put "No gifts please" on their invitations so that they know you aren't expecting anything from them.

Answer 14

I had the same issue. I did end up inviting them. It's a great way to reconnect and most people don't think they are only invited for the gift. You should feel free to share your special day with everyone.

Congrats and Good Luck!

Answer 15

Yes, it is perfectly fine to invite them. Have fun, this is your day!  Celebrate with whomever you want to celebrate with!

However - the wedding may not be the best place for you to "reconnect" with old friends.  This can certainly be the opening invitation, the olive branch for future outings.  But you'll find you're quite busy on your wedding day!

Whether or not your guests join you for your day, reach out again after you get home from your honeymoon.  "I'd really love to hang out with you guys.  [Husband] and I wanted to sit and talk, catch up, at the reception but the night absolutely flew by!  We need to set a date to get together.  When are you free?  (Or, Are you free ---?)"

Answer 16

I would invite them over for dinner after the wedding instead. It's a big jump to go from not talking for awhile to attending one of the most important events of your life.

Answer 17

I don't see anything wrong with that. I invited people that I hadn't seen in a few years. I really wanted to see them again and I was so happy that they decided to come.

If you wish to have these people there on your special day then you should definitely invite them. I was glad that I invited the people I hadn't talked to in a while - it reconnected us and we keep in touch more. It was nice.  

Answer 18

If they think you just want a gift then they seem like negative people and you shouldn't want to reconnect but i say ya if they don't want to go they wont

Answer 19

yes   ..   yes.... who cares it is your wedding. you can invite me too

Answer 20

I think it's perfectly OK to invite them.

You could also put in a personal, handwritten note to those people saying you know it's been a while, but would really like to have them be part of your day.

Good luck.