Question:

Is it okay for a husband to call his wife f***ed up?

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We are newly weds and got into an argument as we sometimes do. But just because we disagree on something or have a fight, is it okay for him to call me f***ed up?? I hate the use of that word and have asked that he doesn't use it. Thus, he knows how i feel about it, but still called me that.

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name calling is never acceptable behavior in a marriage. Words demean the person, and strip them of their self esteem little by little. If he is your new husband then why on Earth is he already calling you insulting names? He is starting a pattern of verbal abuse and if you tolerate it, you may one day have your children watch and hear their dad call you more vile names. Is that what you want them to learn?

You deserve much better than this.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
well all you can do is keep telling him that it hurts you, if you guys are married im sure there is plenty of time to work these kind of problems out, my moms previous boyfriend who is my youngest brothers dad would always call me and her biitches and cunnts, he was a real ********, but i honestly think your husband is just doing it out of anger and just learn some coping skills, you know that you arent fuckedup hes just angry maybe try reverse psychology like "well here let me do what you would do at this moment 'YOUR FUCKEDUP'" but that doesnt always work to well, i wouldnt worry to much you guys will probably be able to work that out
Report (0) (0) | earlier
yeah but you better have a good reason and dont get comfortable sayin it
Report (0) (0) | earlier
shut your blowhole and be happy he doesn't b..i..t..c...h.. slap you.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
No --that is disrespectful. Tell him you don't appreciate it, and if he responds negatively, then you may be in some trouble...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
yes, it's ok
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I dont think its disrespectful.. because she will call you that if you called her that.. what comes around goes around
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It's called zero tolerance..................................

Put your foot down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If your newly weds and he can't respect you now, then what the heck makes you think he will later????????????????

You better find a new way to dispute and then still respect one another and come back together full circle!!!!!!!!!!!!

If not end it before it gets even bigger and it start messing with your self-esteem, and everything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
No ,Its not . He is calling You names because He's either wrong or loosing the argument. this is like a punch below the waist in boxing
Report (0) (0) | earlier
yeah i wouldnt like that either. cuz if he thinks your f***ed up then why did he marry you
Report (0) (0) | earlier
it isn't nice being told that you're '****** up' my ex used to ALWAYS say it so i can imagine what it's like for you, but him being your husband, it's not a nice thing to say at all! talk to him about it and make him understand that you don't like it and if he continues...well that is up to you to decide on what to do.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It was rude and disrespectful so no, it's not OK.

When a spouse says something like that I always figure that now there is a little piece of that person the speaker will never get back...keep chipping away and it'll be gone.

I'm sorry he treated you like that.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Tell him that you need to be respect and not only because he is you husband he can start mistreating you.

That's how every relationship start to the path of aggressive
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I cant really say anything my husband and I call eachother f***er and sh**thead, but that are our pet names, if he were to say that and be mad and really mean it yeah i be p*****
Report (0) (0) | earlier
My husband and I have been together for a year. He has called me names that I don't like when we get into a big knock down drag out and then when everything calms down I tell him I don't like to be called those horrible words. The next time we get into a fight, he hurls the same names at me. I think that when men (and women) get mad and find out something that gets under your skin or hurts you, he's going to use it to his advantage because when they get mad, they want to hurt you. It is not ok for him to say that to you. He needs to learn to take on responsibility for things in your marriage also; it's his marriage too. What I would try is next time he says that, don't give him a reaction or act like it bothers you, even though it does. After a few times of him saying that to you and not getting a reaction, he'll quit. ( I hope). But what's important is that you don't believe that you are f***ked up. Don't ever believe that. That is his own stupidity and not yours. What he is doing to you is called verbal abuse and it is not to be excepted. He is hurting you deeply and trying to bring down your self-esteem. If you don't nip in the bud right now, it will get worse and your future children will starting calling you names because dad does and they'll think it's ok. God Bless You!! Get help now before it gets worse!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If It Makes You Feel Hurt & Uncomfortable Then No. Talk To Him About It, Let Him Know He Messed Up. All Newly Weds Have Their Rough Patches, Even People Who Have Been Married For Ages - Part Of The Process. Just Talk To Him, Let Him Know You Don't Approve Of It. If He Acts Rude & Just Shrugs Says Fine Then Make Him Know You're Mad At Him For Disrespecting You. If He Apologises & Really Means It, Plan A Romantic Trip Out Or Night In.

Hope I Helped
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I, think you should ask yourself did this happen before you got married? If, so then ask yourself why you got married if it was there before. You should also sit down with your husband and really express your feelings to him. If, you belong to a church, then go for counseling with him. If, you really love your husband then work together to figure out how to fix what is wrong. Don't just point the finger at him, also take a look at yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's your fault how he talks, but just look at everything.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
i tell my husabnd the same ALL the time.... no is not ok, its called verbal abuse. i think about divorce all the time bc hes always using bad words and calling me names etc.

one can only tolerate so much
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Unless I'm a bit drunk, then those words better not pass his lips to my ear. That is like telling you your crazy or insane. It is just DISRESPECTFUL. It is even MORE disrespectful for him to say that to you after you've asked him not to.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
You know it isn't.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Name calling is never ok .

If my husband said that to me , I would tell him to apologize , never say it again and find a better word to use that isn't so disrespectful.

If he can't do that then it would be over !   Once you let them degrade you verbally they won't stop.   You deserve to be treated with respect.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
Tell the troll to grow up. Sounds like my ex and if you don't nip this in the bud, he may be your ex.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It depends on the couple.

When me and my hubby get into fights it is every man for himself...

we yell, call names, threaten each other with divorce, haha everything you can think of ( it is just a way of letting the negative energy out) and about ten minutes later we are fine and feel alot better.

The thing is though that neither of us get offended because we know it is just words not the way we truely feel.
Report (0) (0) | earlier