Is it okay for a man to sleep next to his four year old daughter?

Question

my boyfrined is always cuddling and curling under his four year old daughter as if she is his girlfriend, he told me one night that his p***s got errect at the thought of how much she loved him but, that he was uncomfortable that this had happend...is this normal? at what age should a child not sleep in the bed any more with adults? this is disturbing me as now that he was told me this i look at him different,..should a father bathe his daughter?

Answer 1

While slightly disturbing that he became erect at the thought of how much his daughter loved him, I otherwise wouldn't be concerned. Have you asked him why he sleeps next to her or why he likes to? Perhaps he feels like he wants to be close to her and have a good, solid, father-daughter relationship with her. I don't see anything wrong with that. Does he have custody of her, or the mother?

Perhaps he sleeps next to her because she's afraid and needs comfort or for some other reason. I would find out before jumping to conclusions.

And yes, of course a father should bathe his daughter. It's part of a parental duty. If the mother is not around, who will bathe a child?

My husband still naps with our daughter and he also bathes her, partly because my belly is too big to lean over the bath tub.

I don't see anything wrong with a father bathing his daughter, nor do I see one with a father sleeping next to his daughter.

The only concerning thing is the erection part, and perhaps he should speak to someone about that.

Edit: Our daughter is only 16 months, so much younger.

Answer 2

I think there is a fine line between being a daddy and being creepy.  My husband is an awesome dad.  He stills gives our 3 year old a bath, and will probably continue to do so for awhile.  My husband cuddles and plays with our daughters as well.  But, our kids have their own beds and he is very aware of "the line".  At 4, she should have been sleeping in her bed a long time ago.  Not so sure about the erection, sounds creepy to me.  I dont know, pay attention.  If at any time you think the child is in danger, call the police.  It's for her safety.

Answer 3

If he is getting turned on while he's thinking about his child, that is not normal. He needs to seek psychiatric help. There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to cuddle with his 4 year old daughter, but an erection puts off a panic vibe....Pedophile. He needs serious help..

Answer 4

Hmmmm if his p***s got erect that is a good sign that he should stop. My 2 and a half year old daughter gets into our bed almost every night with us and sleeps on the side with her father and he cuddles her and there is nothing weird about it, and I think he would probably keep doing it in the future while she is still little, but he has never got an erection over her thank goodness. And he also bathes her too but she is younger and I don't really know the age at which they should stop.

Answer 5

this is disgusting!!

you have to call the police , he is sexually attracted to his child , a 4 y/o girl !!!!

i used to sleep in the same bed with my mum and dad and there is NOTHING wrong with it !!! because my dad isn't a pedophile!!

this little girl should be able to feel safe in her fathers arms at any age and there should never ever be an ulterior motive.

*edit* im shocked with how easy everybody is about this !!! this man needs serious psychiatric help !

Answer 6

His p***s gets what.....??!!  when he thinks about how much she loves him..

This is just GROSS and WRONG and SO many ways,..

Answer 7

It's perfectly fine in most circumstances but to be sexually aroused by it?   That's sick and not normal.  If this is for real, dump him and call CPS.  That child should not be with him.

Answer 8

we never let our childeren sleep with us, that was something i never wanted to start so i wouldn't have to break it. but as for bathing, my husband bathed our daughter till she was 4ish and could bath herself with supervision.

Answer 9

Do you know how many times a day a man gets an erection??  It could be that it just happened to happen at that time and mean absolutely nothing at all (it is possible, ask any man that you can trust to give you an honest answer.)  Unless he's some kind of pedophile, there is nothing wrong w/ a father bathing his 4 year old daughter; a 4 year old should not be left unattended and expected to clean herself.

Answer 10

Tricky one.

Presumably he told you because he himself was disturbed by this reaction which means that she is in no danger.

However, I think you should gently suggest that she now sleeps in her own bed (she's 4 after all - where would you draw the line?) for no other reason than that she is a big girl now.

Hopefully that should take away the wierdness tactfully.

There are very real syndromes where fathers are pseudo sexually attracted to their daughters (ie not for real and no action would ever come from it).  Just best to nip it in the bud before he feels wierd about it.

Hope ou get what I'm saying - I'm NOT saying that if he's a peado that's OK.  It wouldn't be, its disgusting  - but some men have confused false feelings they would never act on im a million years.  Look it up!

Answer 11

Our daughter cuddles with her Daddy every night, but she is only 7 months old.

When she is old enough to walk and get out of bed on her own, we will put a mattress on the floor for her in our room next to our bed and as we raise it, we will move it further away and eventually have her in her own room by the time she is 3-4 , hopefully.

You have to play this thing by ear and there is no perfect solution, but if he got an erection, there is a problem ahead.

After all, she isn't fully formed and she is of his own blood.

Answer 12

Nothing wrong with a father sleeping with his daughter, or giving her a bath - isn't that what parents are supposed to do?  Why should everything be left to the mother just because she's a girl, especially if she's only 4 years old?  If she was 12, then maybe I could see your concern.

The erection, however, is a little creepy and unusual.  But at least he's acknowledging that it made him uncomfortable too.  

Answer 13

Wow... this is a very fine line. While I personally think it is fine for a man to sleep in the same bed with his daughter, it should not cause the man to get an erection and if he is a responsible adult he should remove himself from the situation. He can't control that he got an erection but he can definitely control what happens next.

Answer 14

OMG. Some of these answers are stupid.

Just because you get aroused by something, does not mean it is anything sexual. Many women get aroused by breastfeeding-it's down to normal, natural, physical responses.

Me and my sister used to have baths with our dad when we were little kids and it was perfectly normal.

If anyone thinks there is something weird with children sharing their parents bed, baths etc, then there's something more creepy about them thinking that than anything else. How can you possibly think there's something in it? To me it takes a disturbed mind to consider that innocent things such as cuddling and bathing your child could be anything sinister. People are ridiculously hysterical about paedophilia with absolutely no reasons.

For Christ's sake. He's her DAD.