Is it okay that I slapped....

Question

my eleven year old daughter? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not an abusive mother, I didn't hit her out of anger, or frustration. The thing is she called be a b*tch and in our house we don't use that kind of language. I don't know where she even heard it. Well when she called me that I was so shocked that I just reached out an slapped her. Not enough to make her cry, but her cheek was a little red. I apologized right after wards but I still feel terrible. Is it bad that I slapped her? Would this be "good parenting" or was it a little over the top? I just feel awful please answer.

Answer 1

I think it was a natural reaction, and so not wrong.

Also such language at that age is unacceptable,

but i think she did learn it from school.

xo

Answer 2

if her school is anything like mine then yes, they use worse than that at school.

by the time i left primary school i had learned most of the swear words i use today, and by the end of secondary school i had a proper mouth on me!!

Answer 3

yeah a lot of kids do.

my mom hits me and my sister sometimes and it's scary, even if she doesn't hurt us really bad.

i feel like, so helpless when she does it. i'll never forget any of the times that she hit me. it's more emotional pain than physical pain.

Answer 4

you shouldnt feel awful! she was wrong.  i think hitting(as long as they arent physically hurt) is healthy, because she will associate swearing with the feeling of pain, and will refrain!

Answer 5

She's not that young.  And she could have heard it anywhere, especially since it's uncensored on TV now.  I think that it's definitely a good thing that she knows you're not okay with her calling you that, BUT..

-it sounds like you reacted without thinking

-what kind of message does that send your daughter?

-were you being a *****?

Talk to her about this ASAP.  Remember that even though you still see her as a little girl, she is at the age where she'll start testing her boundaries.  Establish a trust between you guys now, or it's just going to get worse.

Answer 6

Yes, they use that language at school, and she either heard it there, or in music that she listens to.  Keep in mind, many 11 year old girls are already having s*x, so she hears a lot worse than that!

No - you were not wrong to do that!

Answer 7

She probably heard it on "Family Guy" on fox or TBS. :)

My 4 year old loves that show!

I'd say you're okay, and you feel remorse, I can so relate because parenting is NOT easy at all.

You love them, but you want their repsect, them to be safe, and live a long & prosperous life.

We all fought like cats and dogs, until we all grew up moved out, and went our separate ways. She'll still love you, and might watch calling you a bi**h again.

Answer 8

If my 11-year-old called me that I can see myself reacting that way - and we don't believe in hitting or bad language either.  

I think it's ok.  She was way over the line.  Since this is something that doesn't usually happen in your home maybe it will bring home just how unacceptable it is to speak to you that way.

Answer 9

As a 13 year-old, I can tell you that we hear (and most kids say) a lot worse than that.

If you don't usually slap her, I would make sure that you tell her that it was a mistake, and that you would never do it to her again. Make sure she knows that you slipped, and that she could never do anything to deserve that from you.

Answer 10

no! it's not okay....she said that word because..maybe she hears it alot (ex: t.v.)..and kinda got used to it...maybe she didn't want to say ..it just slipped..but slapping her only makes things worse..i should know..i'm 16..

Answer 11

It was over the top, but understandable. You're human. You apologized, which is good. I would forget it and move on. Next time, try a different punishment.... maybe a time out. That works on older kids as well as young ones... because they get the message that they acted immature.

Answer 12

It is amazing at the language that these kids are exposed to these days.  They know more younger than you and I did.  You ARE NOT a bad mother.  We all react to things, sometimes positive sometimes negative.  But be sure of one thing...She will think twice before acting.  You apologized now you need to move on.

Answer 13

In my opinion, it's the fact that it was done in anger.  She was completely out of line and does deserve to be disciplined, even it you spank in your home, it should never be done in anger.  I think it good that you apologized but I hope you also discussed the situation with her.  Good luck!

Answer 14

wow. ur a cool mom. my mom would prolly do worse. don't be all freaked out. don't make it a big deal and time will make everyone forget. NEVER bring it up again. I'm 13 and i've been hearing that word since 5th grade

Answer 15

no you are not

wronqq she is wronq nd she

needs disapline to

so the next time she wnt do it

if yuh dnt disapline it will happen

over nd over nd over aqian yuh where not wronq at all

[♥]

Answer 16

I personally believe that it is never okay to hit your child but this may be due to the way I was raised. As long as you apologize to her and explain that it was not okay to hit her it shouldn't be a problem (just please don't do it again). There are always better ways of disciplining a child. Violence is not the answer. You sound really upset and you must really care for your daughter. Otherwise I would be a lot harsher. Good luck :)

You're not a bad parent

Answer 17

young people hear everything theses days. She was angry, And you were angry. But yes. It is still wrong to slap a child, children are annoying. But should never be hurt like that.

Answer 18

I was brought up being spanked and I believe that kids need to be spanked from time to time.  There is a difference between abusing a child and dimpling a child.  I don't think what you did was wrong but do be careful you don't want charges against you.  If I were you I would of done the same thing.  Oh and please know that kids these days probably know more then me and you put together.  They are fast and sharp.

Answer 19

you should not have apoligized for it. it my daughter called me that i would probably do worse. children dont have respect for adults anymore.

Answer 20

She's the one that has to apologize.

and don't feel bad about i think you did the right thing if not she's gonna keep using that language and it can get worser.  

Answer 21

yes and i would have slapped her myself if she called me that

so you better be very sure she doesn't use that on others

some day the wrong girl will pay her back twice as hard as you did

most of all its desrepectful!

Answer 22

it's understandable, just dont make a habit of it because then it will lose effectiveness and will turn into abuse.

and yes children do learn and hear these words from school, the street, movies, games, etc. the generations are getting more and more corrupted, it's horrible.

Answer 23

i think that it was okayyy that you did it. it was sort of out of shock. just an immediate reaction... but i would not suggest ever doing it again, at her age physical punishment would only make her angrier.

Answer 24

sorry to break it to you, but kids these days get exposed to those words when theyre like 8 (literally)

i definitely dont think you over reacted, and i dont think you needed to apologize either! no matter how bad of an argument is, someone should not call an elder that, especially their mom who spent 11 years caring for their child to grow up and become succesful

Answer 25

yea, sadly we do use words like that at her age.

but i don't think it is wrong that you slapped her.. just because your friends use those words & you might use them at school doesn't mean you can call your mother a b*tch.

Answer 26

we all do mistakes so don't worry, but you should not show it too much for her that you regret she can use that against you. You can talk to her and make her understand that the word she said to you was so ugly that it made you do that and make her promise you that she will not use this word again. She might even say worse things in the future the question is what will you do then. good luck from Sweden  

Answer 27

do not apolagize because when she is older she will do worse, you need to enforce that you are the adult and what you say, goes.......and unfortunatley they do use that type of language

Answer 28

school, tv, magasines, online

where do she come of arguing with you like that though, yeah no wasnt good you lost control, and good you apologised for that, but you still should "punish" her for her behaviour in another reasonable way to not let her get away with it

Answer 29

I heard words like that in the second grade so eleven isn't anything compared and no it wasn't wrong but next time if slapping her made you feel said then whoop he butt instead ...lol

Answer 30

everyone will say its bad. but i bet your daughter wont call you a b*tch for at least 5 years.  

Answer 31

I would have done the same thing. Yes, kids do use that language even younger than 10. She will learn that is not acceptable, and I doubt she will even think of calling you that again.