Question:

Is it okay to be friends with a married man?

by | earlier

I Met a really cool guy a few weeks ago while running errands. The next day he told me he was married. We text each other often and we talk about his wife and kids as well as everything else. Nothing sexual. We get along great and have lots in common. Its like he wants to be friends even though he has a wife and kids. I would want to be friends with him even though I know its not totally right. what to do?

Tags:

Report

Answer The Question I've Same Question Too

Follow Question

31 ANSWERS

Sort By: Date | Rating

its a tough one that. if i was you or him i would think there was nothing wrong with it cos u arent doing anything wrong and it is simply just a friendship. but its whether his wife sees it like that? if you are worried about it, you should get him to introduce you to his wife, and maybe you might get on really well with her too, and then she will see that your intentions are innocent.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Like we said before:

NO. There's enough home wreckers in the world as is- yeah, these things usually start off on friendly bases. Plus, you having feelings for him isn't going to help anything.

So stop reposting this question just because you're not happy with our answers.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
hes married, why is he spending so much time talking to you?

if you are going to be friends with him, suggest you meet his wife, if hes reaction is a big NO, then hes not after "just friendship", leave well alone!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Um, think about it from his wife's view. If you were her, would you like someother woman texting/talking to YOUR husband?

As a wife, I would have to say NO.

If she was a mutual friend of ours, sure I'd have no problem. But some woman I've never met that my husband is talking to all the time (that I probably don't know about)...that could only cause problems.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Why do you feel it's not right to be friend with him? If you feel there is no chance of it going any further than friendship then I don't see it as a problem. Men and women can be friend without anything going on.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I'd say yes but not super close.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
well ask him if his wife supports your friendship or not.if hes scared of telling his wife about u,,, then no way, stay away from him, he has other things in mind.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I hate how people think that they cant! Its ok!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I don't see why not as long as it is clear to both of you that, that is all it is. If your text messages ever cross the line then it's time to ended.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
NO...

go find another fish in the sea...

please don't kid yourself, there is no "halo" associated with a friendship with a married man!

"what to do?", you ask... Just STOP.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would start by finding out if he has told his wife about you. If he has then its almost plausible that you cold consider friendship. He more then likely hasn't told his wife which is not a healthy situation, and points to him possibly having a hidden agenda. Its difficult, but the odds of sustaining a good healthy friendship with this guy are slim to none. Put yourself in his wife's shoes, what would you say?
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Only if it is REALLY platonic for both of you and that seems hard to believe. You might see it that way but how sure can you be that he does. Besides, wonder what his wife would think of it. I would be very suspicious if i were her.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
soon texting will lead to ph conversations, personal problems will become a topic, one thing leads to another....

an acquaintance we say hi to and talk about the weather, a friend we meet often and talk about stuff, men and women cannot be friends, they can be acquaintances
Report (0) (0) | earlier
no no no it is wrong because of the fact that his wife is supposed to be his friend not u..

let this man gro because all he will bring is unecessay drama to your life
Report (0) (0) | earlier
You will ned up liking him eventually, its nothing good.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yes it is. Think of him as your blood brother. You wouldn';t have s*x with your brother would you? It's easier if you think of him as a blood brother. Good luck.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
yes it is unless your intentions are wrong
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would steer clear because this friendship will end up affecting his marriage.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
no i don't agree sorry married men shouldn't have female friends defo if there younger then them too......his wife wont approve of this either....its odd.....you say noting sexual but what if he wants something sexual...your txting a married man ? ! ? that's just wrong I'm sorry i think you should step away and tell this man you don't mind saying hello if you see him but no txting....your getting involved to deep
Report (0) (0) | earlier
if your JUST friends, then there is no problem. who knows, maybe you and his wife would kick it off really well too. you should invite them both out for a night out
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I THINK THERE R A LOT O FSINGLE GUYS OUT THERE WHO WOULD LOVE TO B YOUR FRIEND,,I THINK WEN MARRIED GUYS WANT TO B FRIENDS WITH SINGLE GIRLS ITS CAUSE THERE AFTER ONE THING,,ASK YOUR SELF IF YOU WERE MARRIED WOULD YOU WANT YOUR HUBBY TO B FRIENDS WITH A SINGEL GIRL,DONT THINK YOU WOULD,,AND I F U CONTUINE TO B HIS FRIEND,,JUST EREMEMBER,,"WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND" AND U N HIM WILL END UP HURTING A LOT OF PEOPLE,,AND KARMA WILL HIT YOU REAL HARD WITH A LOT OF BAD THINGS WILL COME YOUR WAY,,PEACE
Report (0) (0) | earlier
your at the beginning of an emotional affair which oftens leads to physical exploration. In some way, you are attracted to this guy so at least be honest with yourself! This undoubtedly, could get out of hand. REgardless free will.... it is a B--ch! Good luck
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yes, so long as you both know that you are just friends, and that his wife and kids know you're just friends. In fact, befriending his wife as well would really help.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
its fyn to be friends!!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Im a very jelous wife and its not that I think my husband is going to cheat, you just feel that their is more threat with other girls and guys tend to be so "blind" to notice when they are flirting or getting flirted with. Ive grown to accept my husband is going to have female friends but the ones I find acceptable are from the workplace and when they meet eachother through others and occasionally see eachother through outings. It really depends on the sife though to be honest. I know it sucks but i promise you when your married you'll understand a little.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Ok i don't know what the deal is with some of you people...just because a man is married doesn't mean he can't have female friends...also he was willing enough to tell you about the fact he is married and has children so I don't think he is looking to cheat if he was he would have never told you that...I personally would say that its just fine to be just friends...don't pay any attention to the others who say married men shouldn't have female friends...they are just insecure with their own men...I completely trust mine and also I'm not the jealous type. Anywho hope i helped.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Does his wife know about you? I think you should meet his wife...it's better to be friends with his wife and get used to doing stuff with his wife and him, not just him. Its safer to know his wife. If shes okay with it and she likes you and would like to be friends with you, you can be friends with him and his wife! But if you are going to be friends with him, his wife has to be an extra that comes with being friends with him. You have to include her in this friendship or else she would worry and blame you if anything happens to their relationship. If you don't want to know his wife, you have to forget about him. Tell him the truth and if he doesn't think its a problem that he has a wife and kids, definitely forget about him because he obviously doesn't care about his relationship with his family enough to protect it from another woman.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If he invites you over to meet the wife and kids to hang out and have fun together, then it is perfectly okay to be friends. Just because he talks about his wife and kids, but does not let you meet them, then there is more going on than your aware of. Lot of men hit on young girls, they will gain their trust and have s*x with them, then they will be gone, looking for their next target. I know, I use to be one of those men. So take my word for this, if you have not met his family, then he is planning on adding you to his collection of young girls he has had s*x with. Good luck.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Only if his wife can be your friend as well. If he has not told her about you get away because he is wanting something something sexual. Men only hide what they are doing wrong. Tell him you want to meet his wife and kids-maybe bbq or something. If he is cool with that then see how his wife reacts. Typically this is a nononononono type situation-I would be so pissed if my hubby did this-and I completely trust him. He has plenty of female friends but doesn't talk them much and only hangs with them around me.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
yes/no it's ok to be friends in the since that when you see him both of you can converse no in the aspect of the time that he shares with you he could be with his wife and children friendships I believe start off innocently but it will change at first I believed that the opposite s*x could be friends and remain that way but that's few and in between the more time that you spend with your friend and he with you you might unintentionally see him as a compatible mate your new way of thinking will spill over into the relationship same applies to him. Your friendship could get strained whoever has develop feelings are perhaps trying to remain the same but wishing that they could express them one of you will react to it the receiver and the recipient and then its too late he will start with the traditional my wife don't understand me like you do and you might start with him by telling him that he should leave her

there is know good that could come out of a relationship when 2 people began on lies rather than honesty and truth.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It totally fine. Why are you feeling guilty when you haven't done anything wrong yet? Just let him know and make sure that your relationship doesn't mean or be anything more than a friendship. Maybe if you get that close, as friends of course, meet his wife and kids so you make it clear that you guys are friends.
Report (0) (0) | earlier