Is it okay to be mad at someone for killing themself?

Question

i still cant seem to forgive my ex boyfriends grandmom for killing herself, everytime i think about it i think that she is selfish and messed up and i cant beleive that she would do something like that to her grandchildren and her own children, there were people at her funeral breaking down into fits because they were so sad...

on top of that, her son has a hard time not blaming himself because they were in the middle of a... lets say 'dispute' when she decided to kill herself.

they were agruing and she went home later that night and OD-ed.

i cant seem to get over how selfish she is... i strongly beleive that even if you feel like your life is horrible and blah blah blah... its NEVER okay to kill yoruself, because its a selfish selfish thing to do. and just because your miserable, doesn't mean that everyone else around you has to be miserable too!

Answer 1

its a very sad situation but i don't really see why you are mad

the poor woman's family are entitled to feel anger grief sorrow etc as they are the ones caught in the nightmare of a family members suicide but as the grandson's ex girlfriend I really don't see where you get to judge  

Answer 2

its clear that you have never been desperate enough to regard suicide as an option, she, however, obviously has.

Killing yourself seems like true and absolute madness when you have total mental health, when you have any mental health issues it can seem like a somewhat rational, almost acceptable answer!

Remember that when she did it she was not in a stable frame of mind and at the time, it was what she wanted. if she felt so miserable that she ended her life, can anyone expect her to go on with life in misery.

Answer 3

Your mad at a dead person? you sound like the only selfish person from what I can see. Have you ever tried to really understand what she was going through? did anyone take the time to understand what she was going through? Maybe if everyone took more time trying to help her she would not have commited suicide.  

Answer 4

I was mad at a good friend of mine that shot and killed himself because I saw the pain he left everyone in including me, then I thought his pain had to have been much greater to take such a drastic measures. I miss and love him very much and for me to stay angry would have just eat away at me and I couldn't see it...

Answer 5

I know u think she;s being selfish by leaving behind all these people and hurting them so much but in the end, she's still the one dead and hurt the most. Maybe she felt it was the best thing 4 all of u and didnt feel like she was needed and was just a nuisance. I'm not recomending suicide but u need 2 try 2 understand where she might b coming from.

Answer 6

This is a subject close to my heart .

My wife killed herself. She suffered schizophrenia .

Her doctor told me after it was the best thing as she was no longer suffering.

She was the most beautiful person in the world until this terrible mental illness manafested it's self.

She really loved Jehovah & i think it was what held her together for so long.

You know it's now been about 26 years & looking back , i tried every thing i could to help her but i still feel the blame as maybe i did things wrong or i did not do enough to help.

She was only 26 at the time .

I sometimes feel great sorrow over her actions & sometimes great anger over her killing herself ,i feel killing herself was a selfish way out with little reguard to how it would effect those that love her most ,

I take comfort in the fact that it was her illness that made her do it & not what she wanted . She would not take her medication as she would take it for a while then feel she didn't need it.

Her parents hate me & say it is my fault yet thier youngest daughter has done the same , after all this time it is a fresh wound that really really hurts , i don't blame them they too must be suffering at the loss of to beautiful daughters .

I still think of her often & dream of the good times with her & sometimes i want to kill myself to be with her but that would be selfish as i have to think of my chrildren & new wife , whom i love.

With out going in to details it lead to me being disfellowship & i was reinstated last week after about 26 years out of the truth , you can see if has had an impact on my life .

I am now reinstated & the one thing i look forward most of all is to be there to welcome her back in the Resarrection.

Answering this question really hurts but if someone reads it & decides to think about those that love them & not kill themselves then it is a small price for me to pay .

Answer 7

yes u can feel like this and its natural 2 the healing process.....

they cut there life short on purpose as if they werent evn thinkin about how it would affect evryone around them but sumtimes they dont sometimes they jus feel like its the best way 2 end their problems

i tried 2 kill myself sumtimes b4 and failed and realized that if wouldve killed myself it wouldve ruined my mothers and fam and friends mostly my moms lives

but when u get n a deep deppression its hard 2 think of that until youve got ur mind 2gether

Answer 8

It may be okay and it may be healthy really being mad at someone for killing themselves.

The succesful suiciders may seem to forget that their life was put into this world for much the sake of others, and if not declaredly for the sake of others, for the holy sake of itself, for the sake of its being a life as such, a life-expression much endowed with a sense of holiness.

Thus a life definitely is holy in itself, and it may never want to be violated; therefore we feel much pain whenever we press or hit with something sharp or hard against our own skin.

But of course even our own will has got a more or less fiercy life of its own, and if our own will inexorably decides that we must die thru killing ourselves, then we must die thru killing ourselves, no doubt and no mercy about that.

Thus our own blunt will may have a holy right of its own to wish that our body must be hurted or poisoned or smashed to death while our own body may retort with great pain as a way of trying and defending itself, very much in the style of when the murderer tries to take the life of some victim and the victim will react screaming and fighting back in order to try and fiercely escape that bloody deadly fate.

Thus everybody and everything may have their own quality and right of being supremely selfish, and the one who ardently wants to stay alive and to live has certainly got more rights than the one who is wanting to kill.

This might make us conclude that it is not really the case to be inexorably miserable, to feel definitely miserable, unless we will agree that our miserability may have got a fiercy life of its own, wanting to live on its own, wanting to enter and to occupy the soul of ... people, in order to make them miserable.

But, we might anyway decide and continue our own fiercy glowing fight for our own life, diligently lovingly trying and saving what can be saved, and compassionately abandoning whatever that will want to be abandoned,

and ardently sincerely seeking merriment and throbbing love and ever trying and building up some good glowing memories and hopes for our own future and for a future in serene interaction with those good people who in spite of all difficulties and tears still very much will want to be together with us.

Allow me to wish you chances of hopeful smiles.

Answer 9

Anger is a normal part of the grief process. From here (the outside) it does look like you are being hard on her, because you cannot know what her life was for her. However, please google the Five Stages of Grief. This may help you. I am old and have lost many that I love. You are mad that she hurt someone else by the actions she choose. You may not have a clue to what was happening in her life that drove her to make this choice, and you may never come to understand it. You have to find your own peace with what happened, as do all people connected to her. Grieving is how "we" as humans do this. Anger is one of the steps. Grief counseling would be a good idea, especially because a suicide is involved.

Answer 10

Rather than worry about whether it's right or wrong to feel what you feel you need to address and deal with it.  Feeling is a part of being alive, you feel hot, you feel hungry, you feel angry, these are simply a part of the human condition, the only release from feeling is the peace of the grave. Many people who commit suicide do it out of a sense of love or obligation, because they have become convinced that the people they love would be better off without them.  You need to accept the fact that it happened, and, instead of dwelling on what you can't change, reach out to the people who are left behind and try to be supportive and caring.  It's the living, not the dead, who should be the focus of your attention, they're the ones who need your help.

Answer 11

It's understandable that you're angry. Suicide is sort of a selfish thing to do. It doesn't take into account that the person killing themselves will leave behind a whole group of people who are going to be miserable and some of them are going to blame themselves. To quote Patricia Cornwell suidcide is "...the final f*ck you."

"Living is hard, dying is easy."

Answer 12

You need to forgive her.  People who commit suicide are not mentally well.  If you let this eat at you then it will adversely affect you.  People in the throes of suicidal ideation cannot be reasoned with, nor talked to rationally.  They firmly believe they are not loved, wanted, not fit to live, etc.  It is a sad situation.