Is it okay to bring my newborn to my sister-in-law's baby shower, thats hosted by my son's Grandma(my MIL)?

Question

my son is only 2 months old and i am nursing him. we tried to pump and give him a bottle but it has been two weeks and we are still unsuccessful getting to take the bottle with breast milk or formula. my husband first tried to give our son the bottle while i was in a different room and we tried many different brands of bottles but our son still refuses. our daughter took to the bottle right away while i was still nursing her and she had no problem switching back and forth. my son is a sleepy baby who just likes to nurse and then sleep. he is noy a crying baby like my daughter was otherwise i would never bring him if i knew it would be disturbing guests having to hear him cry. my mother-in-law is hosting the baby shower for my brother-in-law's wife. so family is just expecting me to bring my son along. i however don't want to offend my sister-in-law who is younger and having her first baby. i need to feed my son and if it means staying home with him that is of course okay with me because he comes first over the shower. so do i stay home or take him with me when it might offend my sister-in-law, even though we are family?

Answer 1

I would take him with you. I think your sister in law will be happy to see you both. It's her nephew I'm sure she already loves him. If your uncomfortable feeding him in front of everyone just excuse yourself and go to a bedroom.   Hope you have a good time at the shower.

Answer 2

she is having a baby soon, she should understand a baby needs to be fed. why would she be offended if you breastfeed?

Answer 3

Kind of a hard situation, i guess it depends on how many people are going to be there, whether most is family.. If your baby is a sleepy baby then I would assume no one would be bugging you to hold him since he would be sleeping.. maybe see with your sister in law.. although she might not give you her real feelings.. goodluck

Answer 4

no, take him along! i think it's a great solution! everyone loves a baby, especially a good baby. it's perfectly appropriate to bring him to a baby shower. all the ladies will be ogling him especially your SIL who will likely be thinking about how her baby will be like that one day.   have fun!!  

Answer 5

if you don't want to feed him publicly, then take him to a bedroom to nurse when your at the baby shower.  honestly...i would just breastfeed him in fount of everyone, just be careful not to flash everyone and but a blanket over so you have more privacy.  your feeding your child, there is nothing dirty or wrong about it...its beautiful and i think your wonderful .

Answer 6

Nurse him just before you go and hopefully all will be well. He can go no problem. As for the bottle feeding, why don't you try giving it to him and not your husband. Babies learn very early where the milk comes from and it could just be that your husband holds him differently and he may actually take it for you.  

Answer 7

I don't think it would be a problem for you to bring him. I personally think it's fun to have a baby at a baby shower. I agree with the first poster who said to bring him into a back room to feed him. You could also just mention to your MIL that you are bringing the baby and see what she says. She will  probably love to be able to see him. I had the same problem with my first son...he only liked to nurse. When he was left with someone else and had to take a bottle, he cried a lot. Fortunately, by the time he was about four months, he was used to nursing and a bottle.  

Answer 8

I would just be up front with your sister in law.  Tell her that you don't want to offend her and you want her to be honest with you on how she feels and don't get offended by it.  She might enjoy having a baby at a baby shower.  and for the feeding, go to another room.  Don't stress on it or your baby will stress. and then others will follow.  good luck.  

Answer 9

This should never be a question you should have to ask yourself. As a breastfeeding mother people need to learn to respect the fact that your baby is entitled to recieve the best possbile nourishment from his/her mother and also understand that babies commonly get nipple confusion, making the switch between breast to bottle almost impossible. You may want to consult with your sister in law first to find out her feelings on this situation. Most people would not have a problem in this scenario but every now and then you get one weird and ridiculous, not to mention spoiled, individual who want's nothing more than your individual attention focused on them. I went through a similar situation not long ago with my sister in law; she was getting married and basically told me everything that I have just shared with you. No big deal though, take a guess as to who did not recieve a wedding gift? I do not go any place that my children are not welcome, and it is my right to breastfeed when ever and where ever I want to. I will not be run by anyones silly rules or guidlines they feel I should follow for their own personal selfishness. Either way, I think the message came through loud and clear and there are no hard feelings from my sister and law. I have my beliefs and she has hers. The best way to handle this is to first know exactly how you SIL feels about your baby being there and then you will know exactly how to handle the situation. Even if she doesn''t think that it would be such a good idea, you can always send her a gift once the baby is born with your congrat's! Hope this helps.

Answer 10

If your family is ok with it, then I don't see a problem.  I am a first time mother myself, when I have my shower if someone brings a baby I don't really care.  My cousin brought her baby to my bridal shower, that did not bother me.

It is my belief that for the most part kids are not a nusaince.  I am ok with parents bringing their kids along to most things as long as they provide things to entertain them so they don't have behavior issues.  There are very few places where I would not welcome a child.  

Answer 11

Some people think it is stealing the mom-to-be's thunder to bring a baby to a baby shower. Tell her the truth - that your son isn't taking to the bottle and you're in a pickle.  She'll either say, "Don't worry, bring the baby" or "I understand why you can't come" or something to that effect.

My friend brought her baby to my shower and it didn't bother me at all. Everyone passed him around and they got to telling stories about babies. It was more fun than dumb baby shower games :-)

Answer 12

If you need to feed him at the party, just go in a back room where you guys are alone. They should understand.

Answer 13

From your question, I'm assuming that the issue is not breastfeeding at the party, but simply taking your son to the party. Generally, baby showers are a women only kind of deal, but, with a tiny infant, it should be overlooked and be just fine. Just don't let him become the center of attention for everyone else.

Answer 14

I would think you should be able to take him, but why not ask your sister in law what she'd prefer? You to come with your son or you not to come at all...explain the situation to her and see what she says. No matter what the attention will be focused on her ;)

Answer 15

I think it's perfectly fine. If they didn't want a baby at the shower, why are they having one?