Is it okay to let your baby sleep in your bed at night?

Question

So I hear this huge debate between my friends about letting your baby in your bed.

I heard two great sides of the debate, one being

NO, you baby will not learn how to be independant and be stable on its own.

on the other hand

YES, it is as natural as breast feeding. Animals in do it, its just instinctual. Also, she said it calmed her baby down enourmously and she now can sleep though the night without being woken.

What do you think?

Answer 1

all my kids slept in my bed with me till they were like 5 and my youngest who is five still does ocasionally:) and once my new baby arrives she will be sleeping in my bed with me:) i like to watch and hear them breathing and i think it really helps with the bonding :) i know some have a real big problem with it but all my kids are find and the oldest ones are very independant and arent clingy!

Answer 2

each to there own i don't do it it's not for us but it works for some people

Answer 3

Yes.

There are safety issues, of course.  Don't bedshare if you have a sleeping disorder or are taking meds which will make you drowsy.  Don't cover your baby with a blanket or have lots of fluffy pillows.  Don't let the babe roll off the bed.

Here's some great, scholarly information on co-sleeping and bedsharing:

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/safe.htm...

And here's some more, which details how to co-sleep safely and the benefits of cosleeping:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/a...

Answer 4

I think that a lot of newborn babies have died because parents who swore they were light sleepers rolled over and smothered them. I think that safety always comes first and that babies belong in their own bed. I think the co-sleepers that protect babies are fine to use, but just a baby in the bed can equal tragedy. They make baby beds for a good reason.

Answer 5

yes i think so...

you can get one of those baby sleepers that they have specifically for sleeping in bed with the parents...

just dont do it every night...

Answer 6

Depends how old. Up to one then its ok, as they don't get too used to sleeping there. I had my 2nd born with me every night for the first few months.

Older then one, then I do recommend not too, as you will find it hard putting them in their own bed

Answer 7

This is a huge debate.  I'm sure answerers on either side will get tons of thumbs down, but here's my opinion:

I did not co sleep with my daughter, nor will I with baby #2 due in Feb.  Sleeping on her own, as well as a good schedule, I beleive made her a very independant and secure baby.  The secure part being the most important.

  At about 9 weeks she was sleeping through the night (about 9 hours).  She has always been able to sleep in any bed, which makes it nice when she stays w/ grandma or if we take her to a friends house and she needs to nap/bedtime.  Usually, she can fall asleep on her own w/o needing rocked.  She doesn't wake up in the middle of the night and need comforting, etc.  She is 15 months and sleeps a solid 13-14 hours.  She's a very happy, active (spit-fire), sweet baby.

Plus, it allows her daddy and me to have 'our' space.  Once you have a baby, it's inevitable that just about everything revolves around baby.  Our bed doesn't.  That's mommy and daddy's quite space;o)

Answer 8

Educate yourself on this from other sources. Try Attachment Parenting or The Baby Book both are by Dr William Sears. As a side note, I wouldn't dream of sleeping any other way than with my baby next to me in bed and as for the rolling over thing, do you roll out of bed at night? No? It's because your mind knows where the edge is even when you're sleeping just like you know where your baby is even when you're sleeping.

Answer 9

I did it with my son to get a longer nights sleep and it was hard to get him to sleep on his own. (also he was very restless in the bed with us and was always hot) He's 4 now and still wants to get in bed with us. When my 4 month old was born I said i wouldn't do it again esp seeing as my health visitor gave me like a million leaflets on the risks of doing so. I'm glad I don't because everyone gets a much better nights sleep especially the baby. I'm sure lots of people will tell you of the benefits of co-sleeping "he belongs in my arms" and others with tell you benefits of not. It's up to you. Different countires give different advise. There is no right and wrong, it's up to you.

Answer 10

hi i have had 5 babies, my eldest was an angel slept through from 6 weeks in her own crib, the others no way, my 10 year old would wake several times through the night in a swing crib, if she fell asleep in your arms and then you put her down she would wake, nightmare on 1 hour sleep then awake for at least 90 mins in between, so the others came into bed with me, peace at last, i actually got sleep and so did they , no fear of rolling over on top of them, as most mothers know, you sense when they are about to wake before they wake up, you are in a much lighter sleep and you are more aware, its personal choice what is best for you, there will be lost of people out there giving me the thumbs down i know, but no harm have come to my children, its your choice alone!

Answer 11

I think that either way is fine.  Sometimes I let my baby fall asleep in the bed, but I have my husband move her before he comes to bed.  My only reason for that is that it is OUR bed, and I don't want our baby in the middle of our relationship.  Everyone is different and chooses what they choose for their own reasons.  I think it is possible for the baby to become dependent on mom to go to sleep, and I don't want that for my baby so I always put her down for naps on her own.  She's flexible with how she falls asleep but all babies are not.  You have to be prepared to deal with the fact that baby may not want to sleep on their own eventually if you let them sleep with you...if you can deal with that, then why not?  There is little to no chance that a mother would roll over on their own baby, so that is not really a factor for me.

Answer 12

i think that it's really a personal choice. the biggest thing with putting a child in the bed is that they will want to always sleep with you. like my friend did that and she now has a 9 and 5 year old sleeping with her.

but it's also allot easier for the mom too. just whatever you feel is right for your situation really.  

Answer 13

What works best with your family?  Which ever one works best is the one you should use.

My son and I both sleep better with him in the bed with me.  It works for us and I'm smart enough to ensure I co-sleep safely.  

But, if it works better for your family to have the baby in the crib, then that's great too!  

I'm a single mom, it's easy for me to co-sleep.  If his father and I were still together, it may have been a different story for us co-sleeping.

Answer 14

I have allowed all 3 of my children to sleep in my bed as babies. I even have a water bed. All of my children have done fine in their own beds once they are older.

I would be a raving lunatic if I got up 3-5 times a night with a baby. they slept in a bassinet near my bed until they woke up the first time. then they came into bed with me. when they woke up they got rolled over my body to the opposite side and latched on...I did not even have to open my eyes after the first time they woke up. All of my children have fallen out of bed, but mostly they were a little stunned, but never hurt. My oldest did get lost in the bed, but while we were panicking he was sleeping soundly.

Answer 15

NO NO NO! It is not safe at all and you should NOT do it. My family owns a funeral home and there have been several cases where they have had to bury a baby because of this. You can roll over on your baby while you sleep. The baby can also roll off the bed is not protected. I know it seems like a good idea at the time but it is never a good option! Just don't do it!

Answer 16

i breast fed my son, i left his dad when he was 1 month old so i put him in my bed. i didn't have to get up in the middle of the night just fed him. The problem is they get use to it and so do you then it's hard to get hem out. When my son started kindergarten i said he wa sold enough to sleep alone he would look at me so pitiful and say do you not love me anymore, you don't want me to sleep with you. He stayed in my bed til he was 7 and in the 1st grade. It was his choice. I got him a new bed and he said he was going to sleep in it. He has been in it for about 4 months now. It kinda hurt my feelings when he first slept in it. I felt alone and missed him. I know it is best for him. We are all comfortable now. It's just really hard to break them from it.

Answer 17

The latter.

And as for "independant and be stable on its own." -- there is a time and place for that, and it's not while they are babies.

Answer 18

It depends on what works for you and your baby.

My first wanted his own space after he was around 6 weeks old.  He slept better on his own.

My little one (12 months) sleeps better with us.

Co-sleeping properly reduces the risk of SIDS.  Also, please note there is a difference between SIDS and suffocation.  If you google "safe cosleeping", you'll get a lot of good info.  As for the people saying "I know lots of people who have rolled over and killed their babies by accident"- if they were healthy, nursing mothers, I'd love to see documentation of these stories.  Healthy nursing mothers (and most healthy non nursing mothers) don't roll over on their babies.  I'm serious when I ask for documentation- because there are no cases of healthy, nursing mothers rolling over on their babies.

Answer 19

The experts will tell you NO, it's not o.k. for many reasons.  One of the major ones being that the baby can accidentally be suffocated by a parent rolling over on them.  And sadly, I have actually read those headlines in the paper a few times.  But, I did it with both of my kids from time to time and nothing happened.  When I had my daughter, she slept with us for the first few months, not in her crib, and that was a mistake because she wouldn't go into her crib at all for us for at least another few months.  We had a hard time getting her to sleep in the crib because she was used to being with us.  We had many a sleepless night because we had to have her cry it out until she got used to the crib.  But with my son, he was in the crib right from the start, with an occasional night in the bed.  No problems with him!  So, my advice would be to start out in the crib, and once in a while the bed.  Good luck to you.

Answer 20

My daughter is 20 months, and we have been co-sleeping since she was around 4 months old. We would have started when she was first born, but she had an infatuation with her bouncy seat, and only wanted to sleep in that...LOL

As long as you co-sleep right ( i.e. no huge pillows or piled blankets) then there is no reason to be wary of co-sleeping. Besides, it's a weird idea to think that an infant needs to be "stable on it's own." Parents are supposed to provide stability, not let baby learn for themselves.

I'm not saying that *not* co-sleeping is wrong, though. There are a few babies who just don't like it. And that's fine. But the majority love the close physical contact during sleep, and most sleep so much better with mommy and/or daddy.

An added bonus is when they get older, too. My daughter wakes me up with a "Momma?" and a huge kiss. You can't get that when your child is in another bed/room.

Answer 21

I think it is great to co-sleep, it has many benefits. You may wanna google attachment parenting and read ore about it.

Answer 22

no it isn't. last year alone of the babies who died of SIDs, 41 were from sleeping in the same bed as a parent and either smothering to death or being olled on and dying.

Answer 23

I guess it is okay for you to allow your baby to sleep in your bed...but I would not personally do it. When my son was really young he would sleep in his bassinet next to our bed and then as he got older he went into his own room. By 3 months he was no longer in our room. I really dont see the need to have he baby in your bed ... in your room is a must though during the first few weeks until things get into a routine.

Answer 24

No No No No.  Its not ok.  Too many people have done that and accidently killed their baby.  PLEASE dont do that.  

Answer 25

I am in the middle on this issue too. I breastfed my son for the first three months and for a little over a month of that time my son slept in my bed with me. I loved it, but at the same time it was scary. I was afraid that I would roll over on him and smother him. Also, I know from my friends children that if the baby gets used to sleeping with you, they might not feel secure in their own bed and will refuse to sleep alone.

In my opinion, it depends on you. If you are a light sleeper and feel comfortable with it, go for it.  If you don't want to risk the dependecy, then don't. It's all a matter of how you feel. You are the mommy and mommy knows best, always!

Answer 26

I end up doing it around 5 -5:30 AM when my son insists on getting up even if he just ate an hour a before. It is the only way I'll ever get my last hour-two hours of sleep that I need. I just pull him in bed, give him the breast, and drift off to sleep while he eats and then wit for him to wake again.

I ONLY do it in the early mornng and maybe for naps though, never all night when my husband and I sleep our soundest.

Answer 27

Co-sleeping was wonderful for us for the first month or so after bringing our baby home. He slept much better and I felt better with having him close to me. After that he moved to his bassinet right next to our bed and now at 4 months he's in his own room in his crib.

Many parents co-sleep with their babies and have no problems weaning them to their own bed when they are ready. On the other hand there are parents that are still sleeping with their 5, 6, and 7 year old. It's a personal decision. Co-sleeping does have its benefits. It's easier to breastfeed and it does reduce the risk of SIDs. I think any parent that is debating on using co-sleeping needs to weigh the pros and cons of it and decide for themselves as each and every situation is different. You cannot compare how co-sleeping is going to work out for you and your baby off of other's comments.