Is it polite?

Question

Due to a recent visit from the Queen, upon which I had the fortune to represent my Local OAP Club on our recent and most welcome Lottery Funded addition to our fine Club, a beautifully restored and superbly Landscaped new Patio and Garden Table and Chair set, reminiscent of the Victorian fashion of that glorious time, which naturally warranted a visit from HM. . . I had the ghastly misfortunate of forgetting to put me old Falsies in!

Also, I forget to chew up a Mars Bar. Instead of flashing me Charming Ivories and a Witticism designed to dazzle our Dear Lady, out came this Bloody Brown thing which slowly tumbled out me face like a Lazy Salamander. Hers was a picture let me say. Oooof!

Well, is that IMPOLITE in her eyes, or maybe she knows the trials of people with said lack of teeth and such?

Answer 1

Your accent wavers a bit from proper to almost cockney.  Please work on this in the future.

Answer 2

Ohhh I'm confused now.  You do realise of course that false teeth are named such and said falsies means you have a chest prostheses.

I do know that her madge most certainly only sees men of a certain high heeld and dress ilk at Christmas when 'Phil the Greek' dresses as one of the ugly sisters and sings his rendition of 'I'm walking backwards for Christmas'.

I would also like to point out that the question you asked should have finished with 'such like' as is being proper to the vocabulary of the royal associates and such like.

And never EVER SAY Ooof!

Answer 3

My dear boy we all know what an oaf the Queen is married to I'm sure she's used to all sorts of stuff falling out of the Dukes mouth, mostly social faux pas it has to said. I'm sure she did the decent thing and adverted her gaze as your half chewed chocolate bar slip down your chops. Tip top.

Answer 4

things happen man live your life and get on with it

Answer 5

Never mind eh!

Answer 6

no actully its not that polite i think you could of pissed her off

Answer 7

Her Majesty is fully conversant with what to do in the event of such social gaffes and would no doubt be suddenly captivated by your lobelias.  Might I suggest that you cultivate a splendid handlebar moustache to draw attention away from your wobbly gnashers.  The Chap magazine is a reliable touchstone of sartorial advice for the discerning gentleman:

http://www.thechap.net/index.html

PS: Are you Russell Brand?

Answer 8

Oh dear, what a ghastly gaff!

Fortunately, being married to an old codger, HRH is used to such misfortunes and will be most forgiving of your little mishap.