Is it possible for a father to fight for custody of a child when he was not informed they went up for adoption

Question

I found out just recently that I may be (and by may be I mean am 99.99999% sure) that I am the father of her daughter. The problem is the issue of determining the child's paternity was not addressed when the baby was born because she made sure I had no info on the pregnancy so I couldnt push for it then she turned and put the baby up for adoption. I see pictures occasionally posted on her myspace of the little girl as she is growing up (it has to have been an open adoption) and it kills me because I see me in this little girl so much and so does everyone else (the other father was of minority ethnicity and none of those features are present in the child she's completely caucasian). Does anyone have any advice as to how to go after a situation like this? I mean I want to have a paternity test done so we can resolve this once and for all but there seem to be so many road blocks. I CANT be the only guy to ever go thru this. Any advice is appreciated! I live in NY btw!

Answer 1

Go to a lawyer. A judge is always inclined to err in the best interest of the child.  So a person with no parental experience suing for custody may not look like the ideal situation next two parents who have been doing a good job raising her.  However, given your situation, you can at minimum compel the adopted parents to get a paternity test and  try to get visitation.

Answer 2

Yes, definitely. Talk to the social workers; Explain the situation. They will understand. Then if the mother fights your case, higher a lawyer and fight back.

Answer 3

This is a sad situation. You need a lawyer for sure.

Answer 4

yes she can not put the baby up for adoption unless you know

she had no right not to tell you

but if she is allready in a new home i don't know what you can do about it

Answer 5

YES

Answer 6

Unfortunately, father's rights are not protected at all in this country. NY is a putative father registry state, which is not a good thing. There may be a clause that allows recourse if you were prevented from knowing about the existence of the child.

NY statute 372-c(1) talks about filing a claim for paternity. It can be done after the birth of the child, but I'm not sure how long after. How long has this been? If the adoption has been finalized, your chances drop dramatically.

A father I know has asserted his rights in the correct time frame, got awarded custody, but then got the order stayed by another judge pending paternity results. Results show he is the father, but as of today, he still does not have the child. It's a long hard process and is very expensive. Can you afford an attorney.

If you have to do things on your own, the first thing you need to do is register on the putative father registry. Then, go to the court house and tell them you want to establish paternity. There will be a dna test ordered and the judge will decide if you are within your rights to do so. Is there anyway you can prove that the mother of the child actively hid the pregnancy from you? I would also buy things for the baby, or at least set up a trust fund for her. Take a parenting class and get a psychological evaluation. A best interest expert may not be a bad idea. Whatever you do, the judge will want to see that you are serious about raising this child and are going to be fully committed.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I'm not completely sure based on what you've said- you should contact a lawyer.

New York has a putative father registry. That is a list you were supposed to sign up for with your name, moms name, etc, in order to have any rights to this child/have a say in her adoption. Basically its a goofy law that kind of requires you to sign up for every girl you sleep with in case you get them pregnant without knowing and would want to parent the kid if it ever happened. Since you didn't sign up, you may have lost your rights to contest the adoption/any custody issues involving the girl. I'm not sure how that would affect a basic paternity test (ask the lawyer), but it could make gaining custody of your daughter impossible.

In states with putative father registries the mother and other people involved in the adoption (lawyers/agency) basically don't have to contact you or send you any papers if you're not involved in the pregnancy- they just see if you're on the list and if not you've given up all your rights. Not knowing about the pregnancy or the registry is not a legal argument. So unless she did something that was really really sneaky or illegal to prevent you from finding out about the pregnancy/adoption then this might be a perfectly legal adoption.

I guess call a family law attorney. Explain exactly what happened between you and the mother that you didn't know about the birth/adoption, and they will be able to advise you. You may be able to get a paternity test either way but I don't know much about that sorry.

Also if you do have rights and are tested to be the father you should really think about this long and hard before trying to gain custody of her. She has no idea who you are, and no matter what the legally 'right' thing to do would be, the adoptive parents ARE her parents in her mind. You'd be traumatizing/damaging her severely if you took her away from them, no matter what her age is or how great of a dad you'd be.

Answer 8

The law varies from state to state.  You should contact a lawyer who specializes in family law in New York.  Have the DNA test done, follow your attorney's advice.  If you are single, have an adequate income and believe you are the biological father, and have no extenuating circumstances, you may have a good chance at claiming custody or adopting your child.  It would be in the state's interest to establish paternity for child support purposes, and if you can verify your lack of information, you may have an even better case.  Good luck.

Answer 9

contact a prosecuting attorney  see if they can help they are free and at the the court house.  you have every right to get custody of your daughter.  just because you name wasn't on the birth certificate doesn't mean your not the babies father. since you legally didn't sign over your rights you have a great chance of getting your child back if it is indeed your child.  the court can order a paternity test to in fact determine paternity.  my only concern is that you said you have seen pictures occasionally .  this means you have waited a while to seek custody.  that will be the only thing that would concern me.  so if you want to do something about it get aggressive and do it now before it is to late.

Answer 10

Yes, but please take into consideration that your daughter has a life with her adopted parents and this will totally disrupt her life. I know you were robbed of being her father, but should she be robbed of the only parents she has known. I know it is an open adoption, but I don't think her emotions will be. She will more than likely be very angry and resentful.

Answer 11

Most agencies post info on the mother and child in the newspaper for a certain amount of time (set by the court) if they get no response from a alleged father they can legally move forward with the adoption. You might have a good case it is is very recent (like within a few weeks/months), but if the child has been with the adoptive family for a long bonding period and the above was done correctly it is unlikely that you would win custody! You may be the father and have good intentions, but please think very hard about your child and the bond he/she may have with this family, and how scary it would be to be taken from them and given to a stranger! What happened to you was not right,but should the child suffer for it? What would be kinder is to fight for visits and contact with the child, so that he/she could grow up knowing you love him/her and did want to be in his life!

Answer 12

if you can prove you are the father, there is a good chance to nullify the adoption,  but not a sure thing,

contact a family law lawyer.

Answer 13

absolutely! get a lawyer in family law. its pretty common these days. must also consider your potential daughters feelings also. she may be attached to her parents. something you all have to work out. but if your the father and you where unawhere and did not sign over rights then with DNA testing the courts always favor the biological parents as long as you can show the court you can provide food, safe shelter and a loving home. goodluck!

Answer 14

yes!!!!

Answer 15

You are not at all the only man going through this.  If you didn't sign the putative father registry in NY, then you've got a massive fight ahead of you.  Not signing it basically means you've given up your rights under the law.  Not knowing about the registry (which few people do) is not sufficient in trying to establish legal parentage.

There are some pretty well known cases out there.  One was even shown on the Dr. Phil show.  (who showed himself to be NO fan of putative father registries, either.)  

Other men, like Cody O'Dea, Jeremiah Clayton Jones, Frank Osborne, attorney Erik L. Smith, Glenn Spraggs and others have been where you are.  

You can get an attorney and try to fight this.  Historically, these cases do not favour fathers, no matter the circumstances.

Answer 16

You would need to contact an attorney.  As was said your state has a putative father registry. There are lots of men, people that don’t even know about this but ignorance is not going to fly.  Unless you find a sympathetic judge you may very well be out of luck. There was a similar case that was on Dr. Phil about a month or so ago. The difference is the father specifically said he wanted to raise the baby. Baby was placed any ways in open adoption, birthmother and Mbirthgrandparents see baby from what i gathered least once a month if not more.  

Your right this has happened before people just really need to be educated on the FPR. Anyone should tell any male friend/relative about this law. On the Dr. Phil episode I mentioned the attorney for the birthmother and her parents was not even aware of this law/rule.

Answer 17

Oh Yes You Have rights and by law she would have needed your signature for the adoption get a lawyer get your baby

try this web sit i use this when i need legal advice

http://www.justanswer.com/

it will cost you $15.00 but it is worth it

Answer 18

I am pretty much certain that you can insist on a paternity test. You have a right to know if she is your child, especially if the other "father" doesn't have anything to do with her and isn't a legal guardian. The website I added below has a 1-800 number you can call with your questions about paternity, I'm not sure how much they can tell you themselves, but they can probably point you in the right direction. You may need to go to court to sort it out, but hopefully it will work out for you. Good luck!

Answer 19

I would go talk to a lawyer, they would probably be the most reliable source for an answer to your questions.

In my non-legal opinion though I would say no. I know this is your daughter but she has already been legally adopted. If you cannot get custody of her you still she be able to be a part of the open adoption and be able to see her, not sure though.

Answer 20

Yes, you have recourse.  If you are the child's father, and you did not sign away your parental rights, then you can fight for custody or visitation, and the mother can be convicted of fraud as well.

however, I would strongly advise you to think of the child in this case.  She is currently in a happy home, and while I understand your desire to know your child, I, personally, would advise NOT trying to take her from the parents she has.  You may be her father biologically, but her adoptive parents are the ones who have parented her all these years.  It would be very unfair to your daughter to try to take her from the only home she's even known.\

good luck!!!