Is it possible for a heterosexual person to love someone of the same s*x (or vice-versa)?

Question

Hi. I was thinking about this today and it really got me wondering. If I offend anyone by asking I really am sorry, but like I said I purely am curious.

Let me explain what I understand by homosexuality; a man or woman finding somebody of the same s*x to be physically attractive. Reverse this to get my definition of heterosexuality.

Is this right?

OK, so my question is this- as a heterosexual young man, would it be possible for me to find a girl physically attractive, but to love a man (in terms of a relationship). I hope you understand what I mean, I'm not very good at expressing myself, but I do not mean bisexuality.

It would be like a g*y man having the hots for me, but loving my sister as an actual life partner.

Does this make sense/ Please help, as it's really confusing me!

PS, Here's an example, using me again as a hetero man. I like having s*x with girls. not other men. Then one day I meet a man and think, 'Wow, I can really picture us as partners, spending the rest of our lives together. I am in love, but I do not find men sexually attractive at all,'

So I guess it boils down to, can we love someone of the gender we aren't physically attracted to?

Thanks!

Answer 1

You can love someone with out having sexual feelings for them definitely. However that is no good basis for a long term relationship as s*x is an important part of how a couple connect.

There are many different types of love out there and it's easier if you don't try to stick labels on them all...  

Answer 2

I think you're talking about a very natural state of friendship - deep abiding love that lasts a lifetime without sexuality involved. And yes, I think it's totally possible. I've experienced those feelings many times.

I'm g*y, and I've also known guys and women that I'm not attracted to but have loved very much and would like to keep in my life forever.

I think that many of us draw too many lines in the sand with regards to love and how we're supposed to approach it.  

Answer 3

Yes - but not in a sexual way

Answer 4

yes that's what's called a friendship..

u don't have to have s*x with some1 to love them as ur friend/brother/sister whatever... if u do love that person beyond those boundaries then u r probably bisexual or in love with this guy and u are willing 2 have s*x with him even if he's the only guy u would ever do anything with, which i wouldn't think of it as being g*y or bisexual... this is just my personal thought...

but i would recommend u not 2 label urself... who u r with or who u love doesn't make u who u r ...

Answer 5

I think this question is all about definition and the 'restrictions' that language impose on us.  g*y, straight, bi-sexual all attempt 'catch all' dictionary definitions which may tick some of our boxes, as individuals, but not all of them.  The truth is our sexuality is as fluid as running water.  It follows many shapes and paths, which alot of things effect from how we perceive our relationships to how we let others around us shape our actions and wants.

What you describe is perfectly possible and shouldn't confuse you.  Don't look for the restrictions of linguistic definition.  Instead follow your heart and what feels right to you.  I remember a friend of mine once saying 'There is a bi-sexual in all of us.' when I was struggling with my sexuality and who I was.  He didn't mean that I necessarily wanted to sleep with men and women, but that it was perfectly honest for me to say I could find attractive qualities in both.

The same applies to you my friend.  By allowing yourself to be honest with your feelings and attractions you will find the most successful relationships.  So, you don't fit into the nice neat definitions we have for groupings in sexuality?  That doesn't matter, in fact quite the reverse.  You will have a better understanding an empathy with men and women and that puts you in an incredibly good position in life, relationships and so on!  So. I say to you good luck and above all enjoy.

Answer 6

You have just described friendship. A great friendship between two persons that could not be attracted in a phisically way, but are totally online psychologically talking.

Answer 7

I guess that could be possible

but don't people usually find their life partners sexually attractive?

You have to like sleep with them and kiss them and w.e

so...?

Answer 8

Of course.

If there is love without sexual attraction, then its a very good friendship.

Loving someone doesn't HAVE to stem from sexual feelings. It can just be a different kind of love.

Answer 9

We love who we love. Sometimes we bond with people on other levels than friendship. So, yes its possible to think of a member of the same s*x that way and not be sexualy attracted to them.  

Answer 10

yes it is very possible. love is love.  

Answer 11

YES! i have "loved" a man for a few years, but i am absolutely not sexually attracted to men at all. also, most specialists in human sexuality believe that sexuality isn't an either or thing, but a continuam with compltetely 100% heterosexual on one end and completely 100% homosexual on the other end. a person can be on any point of that line.

Answer 12

There are all kinds of love...men love other men in a non-sexual way...not big deal, happens all the time. It's called Best Friends.  

Answer 13

Sexual orientation is a sum of all our attractions. A homosexual is a person who is sexually and romantically attracted to their own gender EXCLUSIVELY.

A heterosexual is a person who is sexually and romantically attracted to the opposite gender EXCLUSIVELY.

A bisexual is a person who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to persons regardless of their gender. Hence, a person who is sexually attracted to one gender and romantically attracted to the other gender would generally be considered a bisexual. However, that individual may decide to identify as homosexual or heterosexual due to regarding their sexual attraction as the main driving force.

Answer 14

My opinion (pedestrian as it may be) suggests, that, heterosexuality is fine, but, you can't beat 'the real thing.' Girls bore you. Good looking men excite you. Tell me I'm wrong.

Answer 15

Yes it is very possible my nieces' boyfriend is like that and my niece is really  to have his baby I mean she is due the 24th of Sept. he is still with her  and he have the hots for men, but it really depends on the person and what a person can accept in a relationship also let me say my niece is also that way she talks about it all the time