Is it possible to be emotionally abused and not realize it?

Question

I asked a question earlier, wondering what people would think about seeing a mental health professional and not telling my significant other. One of the answers sparked a bit of panic. Am I emotionally abused? I have felt lately that I want to get out of the situation I am in. But I can't do it. I know I have low self-esteem, always have.

The worst part is, I feel guilty for feeling like I want out. Is this all in my own mind, or has he somehow convinced me without my knowing that I am not good enough to continue life without him?

I'm not afraid of being alone. Not one bit. I AM, however, afraid of losing him. Why?

Answer 1

Trust me it is. i found out its the reason which led to my attempted suicide. please dont let it get that far. too many people love you and would miss you. <3 you should really see a doctor soon. from there if he feels it is necessary, he will forward you to a psychiatrist. you cant go directly to a psychiatrist without seeing a doctor though.  

Answer 2

I lived with a bloke that made me feel so low that I didn't even realise it was him doing it.  One day I woke up and thought "f*ck this" just out of the blue and left him.  Now I can see what he was doing to me and am so glad I got out of there.

Answer 3

Yes it is possible to be abused and not realize it. My brother was abused by his wife and grown daughter, but he thought he deserved it because he was sick. He was made to feel like his sickness was something he should just "snap out of" and told to "grow up" and everything was all his fault. His house key was taken away from him so that he had to wait in the garage for her to come home before he could get into his house. His daughter called him a r****d. When he wanted to get medical care for himself, his wife said he was selfish, thinking on of his own needs, and that it would cost too much. He believed all of these things and loved his family. By the way, they were not poor people. their house is paid off and they have money in accounts all over the place.

He just could NOT see that he did not deserve this treatment.

He killed himself last month.

So yes, it's possible for someone to be emotionally abused and not realize it.

If your spouse makes you feel horrible about yourself, then that is abuse. Once you get away from him, you will feel better and then you will wonder how you put up with it all those years. Just take the first step. Best wishes to you, dear.

Answer 4

It's very easy to be emotionally abused and not realize it.

You are afraid of loosing him because you are afraid that you won't be able to find anyone else to love you- part of the self esteem issue.

He has manipulated you into accepting that without him, you are nothing, that no one else will ever want you and that you can't handle life without him.  The truth is that you are stronger than you have ever realized and need to be free of his influence to find out just how special and strong you are.

If you aren't happy with him and you are scared of leaving, then leave ASAP and get to a woman's shelter where you will find support and mental health assistance.

Answer 5

It's possible. Ask your friends how he treats you around them, and think about what he says to you.

The guilt is normal if you're thinking about leaving him. And if you're afraid to lose him it might just be because you really like him.

Answer 6

No one wants to end a relationship. That's why even bad relationships often go on for way too long. Your afraid of losing him because there's an instinctive feeling of "better the devil you know than the devil you don't"! At least with him, you know what to expect. Without him, well, there are more unknowns. I think you're going through the process of sorting this out. You know if you're emotionally abused. Does your partner have a way of making you feel stupid or selfish even though you're not? Does your partner make subtle threats if you don't give in to what he wants? When he's around, do you feel like you have to be a different person -- laugh at his jokes, do what he wants, etc.?

If you want to get out of the situation you're in, figure out by talking with friends and a therapist the best way to proceed. It won't be easy, and you'll have to stick to your guns. You have to think of how you're going to tell him and then all the logical issues (housing, belongings, etc.) so that you can end the relationship in a civil way. But, if he doesn't cooperate, it's important you have friends and maybe a therapist to advise you how to proceed.

Answer 7

i got bullied and didn't realize, made me have a nervous breakdown, stop eating and made me depressed and my bpd worse, I'm glad to get away from them

Answer 8

yes you can! And if you have a low self-esteem it will contribute to it. Go to therapy...seriously. I'm not saying this to give a quick answer but sometimes its the only thing that works. It helps you recognize areas you need to work on and when you do it, its such a difference. You have to fix yourself before you can fix your situation.