Recently I relapsed into full blown mania, but there is something worrying me, its different than before. There is one thing missing, a flight of ideas.
My brain is just too foggy, usually i have all these greats plans and stuff, but i just can't think. The rest of symptoms are there, like irritability, jumpiness, sexual urge, etc.
Also the fact that the ENTIRE SUMMER i haven't had a car and I have been stuck in the middle of nowhere, and my parents are depressing me.
Is it possible to be manic and be hit with anger/depressive moods? I know that its this outside factor; not having a car, which is giving me the depressive moods. If I had a car, I would be crazy right now. I say this because all my close friends live in Boston, and I live 55 miles away now.
I believe this is causing me major pain because everyday i am feeling like im slipping from reality more and more. This is NOT how mania feels, and thats why im worried. Like things are becoming harder to distinguish from reality, NOT physical things, more on a mental level. Its hard to explain, its like I can't tell between beliefs and ideas and making right decisions because my mind will make up all this stuff to make it look true. For 4 days I swore some girl HATED ME, like seriously, i was all bugged out and stuff, and I had all the reasons she hated me. 2 days later, it switched up, and i swore that she LOVED ME, same BS beliefs and thinking again. Eventually I got so confused i just blocked her and moved on.
I don't take meds because my dad switched jobs due to moving from the city to some middle of nowhere town, and since im 21 i dont freaking get insurance from my dads new health plan.
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