Is it possible to give back our adopted baby?

Question

My wife and I recently adopted a child. However now that we have her home it's obvious she is much different that us. We want what's best for our child, but live in a very affluent community, and she would stand out and probably get picked on. She would best to be raised by a more urban couple. Is there a way we could reverse the adoption and give her to a family that basically looks more like she does?

Thank you for your help

Answer 1

Remember, we are talking about a person, not a puppy.  You obviously knew what the child looked like before adopting, so I wonder why it is now a problem.  Children who are bounced around like this, will likely have future attachment/ trust issues, and likely will have trouble bonding with caregivers.  I would recommend after this child finds a more appropriate home, that you and your wife get a puppy, not another child.

Answer 2

I'm pretty sure you're a troll, because most "affluent" neighborhoods these days have one or more adopted children of all different ethnicities and nationalities and I can't imagine a child standing out....even here in the deep South's more affluent areas there are biracial children and Internationally adopted kids from all over.

Answer 3

if I had contact info for you, I would report you to DYFUS....

Answer 4

I'll take her.  I don't care if she is green, purple or has 4 eyes.  I have never been blessed with a child and would love the privilege of raising one.

Answer 5

Were you not introduced to each other over time?

My mum is a foster carer and she is in the process of adopting a child that was adopted TWICE and both times 'given back'. She's now 9 and it has really messed with her little head.

I'm not judging you at all, just wonder how on earth you were 'paired' up in the first place. If it's still early on and she's really unhappy, maybe it's for the best. Just shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Answer 6

Your stupid... Die

Answer 7

I agree with the gentleman that said you probably should not adopting a child.

Answer 8

I think you should have thought about it properly before adopting a child. You cant just decide its not for you so can I give him/her back. How confusing will all this be for the child?

I cant believe you did not think of all of this before it was finalised. I hope you get through this without hurting the childs feelings

Good Luck

Answer 9

if you are that concerned about what other people think then find a way your self that is so cruel if you think that people would make fun of her because her skin tone. meany.

Answer 10

looking at your previous questions, you shouldn't be allowed to raise children!  I can understand that some people need to ask the dumbest questions...maybe they should get a new category for just that purpose!  You are a sick sick person!

Answer 11

Sure send the baby to me.. I'll love it.

Answer 12

You are either an idiot or a jerk, your choice.

Answer 13

What exactly are you saying? this sounds like a very selfish act.  If you both adopted a child did it really matter what she looked like?  What does she look like? Is she a martian? a clown? you need to probably give her back because you sound very immature.  You are saying that you probably will not be the best parents for this child anyway.  I wish that I could take her.  Love does not have a color or ethnicity.  If she were to get picked on then you need to straighten out the ones doing the picking and also explain to her that she has every right to be where she is and is loved no matter what other people say.   Is this not what your parents told you.  You are teaching her to give up on life when people say mean things.  Poor child will never accomplish much if you feel this way.  Then will you adopt again and find the same problem with another child.  If it's kids that are picking on her, you need to know that kids can be mean at times....

Answer 14

I think if you love her take her and  if you don't((LOVE)) her(not like)take her back.Why you don't want to have a baby(with yourself)that is easy and very good/funny.

Answer 15

Maybe you should have thought about that before you went through the process... How sad, that poor child.

Answer 16

Looking at your question, I doubt you should be raising any child.

Answer 17

Why are you wasting people's time?

Answer 18

Is this Guy Richie asking? She'll kill you when she gets home. Death by Madge.

Answer 19

I can tell u or your wife doesnt have any confidence at all if all u care about is what everyone else thinks and that she will stick out......................if you give her back you would be damaging her life even more than what it is and just look at your question think about it what if u were adopted into a family that didnt want u because of what everyone else thinks and because of what u look like..... im sure u wouldnt want to get tossed around from foster home to foster home but if u do decide to turn her in to a foster home you guys are not even prepared 4 a real marriage let alone a child of any kind you guys really need help........(take that into consideration)

Answer 20

You're right about one thing, she would be better off with another family.  I don't think you or your wife are ready for children.

Answer 21

Funny......about 6-7 months ago, you asked how difficult it would be for a single man to adopt a child.

So....in 7 months, you got married, went through all of the classes and certifications & home studies, then found and adopted a child???  That's amazing!   LOL  

Find a friend or a hobby. Asking ridiculous questions is just making you look stupid.

Answer 22

I know some children that were in 19 different homes before being adopted. Some had adopted them and sent them back. I can't even imagine! Did you not talk about race beforehand? Please do whatever you can to give this child the best chance for a family that will love her for who she is inside!

Answer 23

I suggest you adopt a cat

Answer 24

I can't believe that there are really people out there in the world who think like you.  It is a sad state of affairs.....

Please contact the agency and have them remove the child before you s***w her up any more.

Answer 25

your the same guy who asked how you can get your "FAT" (his words not mine) daughter to lose weight. Somehow I doubt your question

Answer 26

Although this is a sad situation, you are right if you are not comfortable raising this child then it would be best for someone else to. You need to contact the social worker that you were working with prior to the adoption and discuss this immediately so that they can find a more suitable placement for the child. I wish you the best of luck, hope everything works out for you. Next time, if there is a next time, for the best for you and your future baby, take careful time to consider all of the effects this child will have on you and vice versa.

Answer 27

Yes, the agency you went through will have explained to you that it takes a year and sometimes longer before an adoption is final. This time right after the baby comes home to you is like a trial period.

And frankly, if you want to send her back because she doesn't look like you - she'll be better off elsewhere, anyways.

But don't expect that agency or any other to be willing to work with you again.

By the way, how is it that in only seven months, you went from being single and knowing nothing about adoption, to being married and having a kid already placed in your home?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Me, I think if a question looks like horse c**p and smells like horse c**p, it IS horse c**p.

Answer 28

You have *got* to be trying to get a rise out of people.  No one could be that stupid.

Answer 29

Children are different - biological or adopted.  Otherwise, it would be considered cloning.  How did you pass an adoption home study and evaluation if this is how you feel?  If this is a joke question, I hope you are reported.  If not, I hope someone can intervene and place the child with a family who will love them no matter what.

Answer 30

Were you blindfolded for the whole adoption process? How can you JUST NOW notice she "isn't like you". How selfish. It doesn't sound like you care that she'll get picked on it sounds more like you are afraid of what YOU will go through. How did you not realize she wouldn't "fit in" with you and your "community" before hand? If you raise her correctly with love and compassion and you yourself love her as much as you claim to than it wouldn't matter what your community thought. "Looks more like she does" that comment is uncalled for. It's sad but I think you should give her back as soon as possible. I don't think you're ready for ANY child let alone an adopted one.  Contact the adoption agency.

Answer 31

Way to go j3nny3lf !! What a way to uncover a lie. I think that if you DID adopt a baby, you should take it back immediately!!!