Is it possible to go back to being friends?

Question

I lost a very good friend recently and we stopped talking. I know it is all my fault that our relationship deteriorated to this bad and angry end. I would give anything to have my friend back. But do you think that after a terrible fight it is possible to go back to the way it was before? Is it wrong of me to want to talk again? Here's a major part of it too: I have an order to not even try to contact them again. I feel so bad that it came to saying something so final, but Even if it did, people can change their minds. I can't forget the good parts of knowing a friend who can finish my thoughts or often say the same thing I am thinking or agree on so much of what we say and believe. It's weird that I found such a friend as I did but maybe we were never meant to be more than just online friends. When we had to step away for a minute, does that mean we can never talk again? I want to try, but I am afraid. What should I do? Am I wrong for wanting to try? Please help me decide what I should do next. I hope if he sees this he will answer it. I am reposting this because nobody answered it.

Answer 1

it is definitely possible.  but you shouldn't try to get your friend back right after a big fight.  idk how long ago this was... but you should wait at least 1 1/2 weeks b4 trying to rekindle the friendship.  a little longer might be better.  let him cool down.

then write him a letter, explaining everything: your thoughts, feelings, how much you miss him.  and make sure to handwrite it.  it makes it more personal.

but don't give it to him in person.  slip it in his locker or mail it.  i say write a letter because sometimes people need an actual thing to hold onto, like a piece of paper, to represent a friendship.  words sometimes aren't enough.

include memories you shared, and future adventures you had planned on sharing.  end it with what he needs to do to signal that he wants you as a friend again.  like, meet you at the park at a certain time 3 days after he gets the letter.  you'll think of something.

best of luck, man!  and you are definitely not wrong for wanting to try.  i am sure he's thought of trying, too.

Answer 2

The others have given you great advice.  I'm a bit concerned about the court order though.  You will need to find a way around that somehow.  I'm assuming it's a court order that you were talking about.

hmmm.... I have no clue how to get around that except to leave messages for him at places he would normally go.  But just once you know what I mean, otherwise it could be perceived as stalking and he may have you arrested.

Answer 3

i wen through the same experience about 2 years ago he was my best friend and i wanted to apologize to him i never got the chance because he shot himself about 6 months later. i feel if i took the first step in trying to patch things up he would still be alive in his suicide note he wrote that he couldnot live his life without having me as a friend and this is something i have to live with for the rest of my life dont let it come to that for you it is one of the hardest things to live with this the best advice i could offer you is to make up.  at least if things dont work out at least you can live with the fact that you tried to make things rite

        good luck  

Answer 4

You are not wrong for wanting to say sorry and accept responsibility, indeed it takes a big person to hold their hands up and admit that they are wrong.

The problem here is the ban on contact. If you were to try and contact them, then as this is probably legally imposed, you would be in trouble.

What you could do, is write a letter, and take it to the person placing the order, letting them read it and ask them if they could forward it on, but making it clear that they have read and sanctioned the letter.

Good luck,

Mike t.

Answer 5

As long as you're alive, anything is possible. But the probability of it coming true would be low - you say that you had an "order" not to contact him/them? I'm assuming this is a restraining order, a legal document. It is a matter of public record that one of you wanted the law to intervene to keep you apart - not many people will be able to live that down.

No one here can make up your mind for you. It takes two people to make a relationship work. If you really wanted to "reconnect", you will have to do the asking, but the other party will have the right to either accept or reject your "offer". As long as you know those consequences, and will accept the outcome (even if it doesn't go your way) then you should try it. You'll never know until you try, otherwise you'll spend your lifetime wondering "What if?".

Believe me, that is a horrible feeling, not trying something and wondering about what might have been until you die.