Is it possible to improve my mom and I's relationship?

Question

My mom is a huge Christian, and I used to be, but after months and months of thought, I decided I didn't believe in nor agree with the Bible. I kept it hidden from my mother and gradually stopped going to church. Finally she asked me why, and I told her that I did not think Christianity was right for me. I have three younger siblings all of whom go to church. She tends to ignore me now and I don't remember the last time she told me she loved me. She never ignores my siblings and reminds them she loves them all the time. She is also very negative about me, not mentioning me to her freinds' and such things. She isn't like that with the others. I'm only 14...so possibly it is just my age speaking up in me...but I want help to improve our relationship...I don't want my mom to hate me.

Answer 1

wellyou are 14? you don't go to church go to church till you are 18 and out of the house and then you'll see a turn around you have no business being ugly to her and telling her that you hurt her feeings and you need to apoligize and then you go regardless untill you are of age and out of the house period

Answer 2

I think your mother is enraged and is avoiding you so that she doesn't go completely ballistic on you. Plus, she wants to punish you through shunning. She is very, very, very angry. So here's what I advise. Start going to church. Never tell her that Christianity isn't right for you again. Never, ever disparage her religion. Never ever. She can't tolerate that. After you're 18, you can do whatever you want (except that she will be enraged again), but since you're living there and you're only 14, I would strongly recommend that you make some compromises to live with this woman and not be hated by her. She is not a totally stable person, Christianity gives her structure, and she cannot hear anything against it. So while you're living there, I suggest you go to church and think about other things while you're there.

Answer 3

A true christian does not reject someone who does not "believe".  She can go to church all she wants - that doesnt make her a christian.  Okay - that aside - I feel bad for you.  A mother must love her children - whatever their beliefs.  I have a son who is 20 who is an atheist.  I have a son who is 17 who has found his place in a local church.  I myself want nothing to do with church - but do believe in God.  I love my sons for being who they are - and being open with me about it.  Talk with your mom about how you feel.  You're a young man at a tender age and you need your mom - and obviously love and miss her.  Hopefully you will get some answers here that you can sit down and share with her to help her realize how this is affecting you.

Answer 4

The only solution is to talk to your mom.  You need to sit her down and ask her directly what the problem is.  It may not be what you think it is, or it may be nothing at all.  The only way to find out for sure is to talk to her and together the two of you can find a way to solve the problem...if there is one.

Good luck.

Answer 5

i'm christian but i won't hold that against you...i don't get along with my mother AT ALL either. but while some mothers & daughters just don't like each other, i think your mother does love you deep down inside, but is letting her pride and religious issues get the best of her. sit her down one day and ask her why she's doing this to you all of the sudden, and tell her you won't accept a BS answer because you know she's being like this because of your disenchantment with christianity. let her know that just because you don't have the same beliefs, it doesn't make you any less a part of each other's lives and that you really want to make this right. also tell her that christianity preaches forgiveness, so if she's really that holy of a person, she should know that she's wrong for ignoring her own 14-year-old daughter.

i'm sure she doesn't hate you...if you two had a good relationship before all of this, then i'm sure in time it will fly over.

good luck =)

Answer 6

Throughout the years, I have seen more devoted Christian parents turn their backs on their children when they disapprove of something that the child has done!  It's really a strange phenomenon.

You have several options.  Because you are only 14 and still under your parents control, you might simply continue going to the church of your parents choice and keep your mouth closed until you leave the nest.  Not only will it be appreciated by your parents but it will be a unifying move on your part; and I might add, a mature one at that!

Of course, another option is to continue on your own course and show your  love and respect to your mother as if nothing was wrong.  Maybe she will come around before long.

The last option would be to ask your mom to sit and talk to you about the situation.  Tell her how you feel and ask her to tell you how she feels.  Ask if you can't reach a compromise that will preserve the cohesiveness of your family.

The bottom line, from my point of view, is that children owe it their parents to allow them to raise them until they are of legal age to be on their own.  You also need to be a good example for your siblings.  You have a long life ahead and innumerable chances to live your life your way.  For the time being, it may be easier to allow your parents to lead the way.

Answer 7

sit down and tell your mom what she is doing is not of christian faith nor is it the way god wants mothers to love their children and remind her your no crack head or social outcast and that what she is doing is really wrong and it hurst your relationship with her which you vaule so much and if you dont feel good about talking get a card and write it down remind her the bible has it needs but it says do unto others at you wish to be upon you it the christian way to forgive those to which you do not agree remind her many have died before in the centuries past to practice their religious beliefs and ask her hardheaded butt how many times did she at fourteen feel what her parents wanted from her was unrealistic  and maybe your just bored with this church and want more than to sit there and look cute and if they had more of what your looking for to fullfill your sunday morning or it was more interactive then maybe you would like it more tell her see what she says get involved in something else in that church if you can and remind her soon you will be 18 and in college and there are kids at 19 in irac fighting right now who's moms would love to be so petty  food for thougt HUH