Is it possible to place my ababy up for adoption if I am married?

Question

I have been married for 1 1/2 years, -will be 2 in June, but my husband left me last Nov because he wanted to go out and drink and found himself several other girl friends. He knew I was pregnant, and still left. We have talked recently about trying our marriage again, but I can see that he isnot willing to completely change his actions-I think he is still talking to one of the girls he left me for. I am 24, and have 2 kids from a former abusive marriage, and I am just realy not sure how I will be able to manage with 3 children. It really scares me because this pregnancy was planned-everything was great when we decided to have a baby. I NEVER thought that this would happen. I don't have any money, I am living with my mom right now-which is not too comfortable because she is just so cold to me and my daughters-and I can't imagine what I am going to do. Is it possible to give her to a good set of parents without my husband getting in the way?

Answer 1

not without his consent unless you lies and say it was a one night stand. lying is bad please think about it okay.

Answer 2

Adoption is a wonderful decision.Please please please, get some counseling.  You are emotionally overwhelmed, you have to consider yourself and all your children in the decisions that you make.

I am an adoptive mommy and would love love love to have another child in my life. There are many like me. Contrary to other's opinion you shouldn't be thinking about childless couples or the loving families that would be glad to parent your child...1st and for most, you need to consider yourself and your children.

Counseling will help you put it all in perspective.

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/

Answer 3

Yes you can, your husband will also need to sign over rights.

Answer 4

You can't unless your husband signs off on it.  My childhood friend's wife did the same thing.  She filed for divorce and never told him about the pregnancy.  He found out she had a baby about 7 months after he was born and a judge overturned the adoption.  He got his son when he was just over a year old.  The baby graduated from high school a couple of years ago.

Answer 5

I say he's not worth it if you love your kid's you'll keep them all if the guy wants to be with you he needs to accept all of you including your kids. Leave him find someone else. And if you want me and my parent's have space i'm 14 by the way.

Answer 6

there are plus' and negative's to adoption. Good stories and bad stories. There is NO easy answer. If you don't think you can give a decent life to your children then I totally understand your position. You can try to put her up for adoption, but as long as the father can be located he much give up his parental rights as well. If you try to give the baby up for adoption and he refuses to sign away his rights he might get a lawyer to try to get full custody. You might want to get a free consultation with a lawyer to see what the safest route would be for you and your baby.

Answer 7

Yes you can assuming your spouse gives his consent too.

Now as an adoptee & a single mom to 4 kids please please think long and hard about your decision whatever you decide. These will be decisions that will last the rest of your life no matter what you decide.

As an adoptee, I grew up never knowing where I was from, who I looked like...and although I know that my birth family gave me up with the best of intentions for me to have a happy wonderful childhood with 2 parents that love me... that's not what I got. Instead I got 2 parents that only wanted the status symbol of being parents. They hated me, and made sure I knew it every single day.

As a single mom with 4 kids (ages 8, 6, 3 & 1.5) it's hard. I won't lie and sugar coat things. There's never enough money, there are days when I want to just walk away. I love my children so very much but hey they can be frustrating at times. I have 2 kids in school & 2 home with me. I work, and have all the responsibilities of any other 2 parent family, but no body to help. No body to give me a break or simply be a shoulder to cry on. Would I do it all again?? You bet.

Things sound pretty miserable right now. But they will get better. I would suggest you call your local birthright. They helped me work through alot. They'll help you in any way they can & will never pressure you in any direction. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to talk to. You can find birthright in any country, usually listed in the phone book in the white pages or in the yellow pages under "abortion alternatives"

I wish you all the best if you need someone to talk to I'm always around

Answer 8

I don't know - it seems he has abandoned you, so I don't know if he'd have any rights in that case, you'd have to ask a lawyer

I'm so so sorry this has happened to you

I hope you find the support you need.  Personally I don't think giving your baby away is going to help you, it could make things worse for you and also for what baby will have to face knowing he/she is adopted

Research all your options thoroughly and don't rely on adoption 'professionals' to provide you with all your options - they want one thing and one thing only (your baby for their paying customers)  

Take care of you

Answer 9

It is possible only if the father is willing to give up his rights But you should reallly think hard about this I have two kids and a baby on the way I am 26 year's old my boyfirend left me I have rent 960 a month my check is only 525 I am not on wel-fare but I don't know How I am making it. I thoght about giving my baby up the more and more I feel his kicks and look at my other kids I would not be able to live with my self in giving my child up everyone life is different and this is a decision you would have to make on your own. But if you have to give up your baby and give it a better future I understand. If he is willing to give up his rights you have no problem if not be prepared put everything in God hands You was blessed with another beautiful baby he will make it a way for you to make it in life You will struggle for a while but eventually things will began to look up for you Good Luck!

Answer 10

Yes it is possible to put your child up for adoption, I would seriously look at your family first to see if someone there would like to adopt your child and if not then yes look into an open adoption so you can see your child grow up, it sounds like your husband is being really childish and selfish, I would give him an ultimatum .. and if he doesn't choose you and the baby then I would make sure you tell him of your plans.

Good luck to you, I know this is a hard decsion but your doing what's best for you & your child.

Answer 11

yea

Answer 12

Your husband will have to sign something agreeing to the adoption.  Based on your question, I doubt he is all that interested in 18 years of child support and will happily sign.  Otherwise, there is nothing else to stop you giving up the child for adoption.

I would say that you should make sure there are no other options.  You are in a 'very bad place' right now and you don't want to make a descision that you will regret later.  This is not to say adoption might not be the best choice for you, it is just hard to see other alternatives when you feel so trapped.

Answer 13

Yes it is possible to place your child into an adoptive home.  However, you will need to have your husband involved and cannot do this without him.  Perhaps he will want to parent the child??  Good luck.

Answer 14

Yes, definitely.  Actually many married couples do place babies up for adoption for a variety of reasons.  It is a very loving choice.

Here are 2 hotlines to call:  1-806-745-2574  and 1-800-592-4725.

Adoption is a wonderful decision.  However, that being said, I do think you should get some counseling to make sure this is what you want.  

(((HUGS))))

Answer 15

Yeah give away your child... someone will buy IT.

Answer 16

It's a decision you and your husband both have to agree too, but I hope you will think this through, it's not an easy decision to make or to live with.

Answer 17

Yes, you can, and remember, there are thousands of childless couples in America that will be excellent parents, and you can give them the greatest gift ever, but ONLY if you are POSITIVE that that is what you really want to do.  If not, there is always a way to get by, and you can always hit him up for support

Answer 18

Yes it is possible but you will have to get your child's father to sign off on it.

I may be wrong but I am getting the impression that you want to do this to spite your husband.  You planned this child, you wanted it, don't let your husband's bad behavior cloud your judgment.

Please think long and hard about this.  I understand you are scared but making an adoption plan is not an easy thing to do.  You don't need to make a final decision now.

Good luck!

Answer 19

I think this is a very brave decision on your part. I think adoption is definitely a feasible option, as you would be giving a childless couple, who are better off financially to care for the child, the chance to be parents. But in your case, I think your husband would have to consent to the adoption of your unborn child.

Check with legal aid on this issue.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 20

I also was a single mother of three but I was only 21 yrs. old. My kids were born into a horrible marriage that was abusive. I never looked back or thought of adoption. I love my kids and that's why I left. I also moved in with my mom but she loved me and my kids and was so good to us. It's unfortunate that your mom isn't the same way. You don't want to be like her when your kids are grown! My advice is that being a mother means that you have to do things all the time that you don't want to do. There is too much help (yes- welfare) out there for single parents. You have to concentrate on your childrens best interests. You have to be strong and just keep on going. It is very hard everyday but it is so worth it in the end. Your children love you and will forgive you for any mistakes that you make while you raise them. Think about what your life could be with your kids and without them. I know my life would be so empty without my kids. You should talk to your local department of family and children. They can guide you in the right direction no matter what you decide. That decision is only yours to make, but you will have to live with it for the rest of your life! It has been 8 yrs. since I left my husband and now I have a wonderful life with my new husband. We have 4 children now and the 3 oldest (my ex's kids) all call my new husband dad. You have to be the strongest person in your daughter's life and show them how strong you can really be for them. That way they don't grow up to make the decisions you have with their future husbands. Teach them to be strong by showing them how to.Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 21

your husband would need to give up his rights too. if he says no, then u may have a problem.

Answer 22

It might help to see this as two different issues.  You are faced with two tremendous decisions 1) Do you stay in your marriage?  2) Do you keep your baby?  I know these are huge and overwhelming but maybe if you deal with each one, you might be more clear about the decisions in front of you.  It feels like you are assuming that

baby=no marriage    no baby= marriage.  But there are other possibilities in this equation, such as no baby=no marriage and others.  You cannot control your husband, he will do what he wants no matter what you decide for you and your baby.

So while this sounds horribly difficult, try to see the issues as seperate.  Make the choice that is best for your baby.  Make the choice that is best for your marriage.  Make the choice that is best for YOU.  Your husband can handle himself.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 23

yes, you can.

I'd also like to mention, though you will not feel any better for it, that I was adopted from birth, I dispise my birth mother for doing it, andddd I hate being adopted

=)

Answer 24

You would need his permission in most places.

However, please don't make a decision now when you yourself say that you are really scared.  There will be time enough later if you still feel this way.  In addition to your fear right now, you don't need to feel pressure (even if they don't intend it)  from people who are looking for a baby to adopt.

Answer 25

yeah anyone can. I was adopted and my parents are trying to adopt again. Anyway, my bio mother and father were married and pretty much in ur place. they were from MI and in Michigan if the parents don't pay child support you go to prison and my father didn't want to pay or raise me and my mother couldn't so they gave me up.  If your husband doesn't want you to give up the baby give it to him. and tell him if he doesn't want it then it's going up for adoption. You can email me at [e-mail] if u need to know anything else or just wanna chat. :)

Answer 26

Yes you can do this but your husband has to be willing to sign away his rights to the baby. Or he can take the baby from you or anyone that stands in his way.

Answer 27

Yes you can. Your husband will have to sign over his parental rights. I have done it. I know that I was emotionally and mentally not able to care for a 3rd child. I feel better knowing that my child is in a good environment. We have an open adoption and keep in touch occasionally through e-mails and such. I DON'T REGRET IT.