Is it proper for the bride and groom to tell their guests to wear all black to their wedding?

Question

We have been invited to a wedding for October. They want all of us guests to wear black. Is this a proper thing to do?

Answer 1

It is not proper to ask a guest to wear anything specific to a wedding beyond telling them how formal it is. See the many responses to this question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... .

All black is weird, but they could be asking for any specific color and it would still be rude. I don't care if its a "request" it puts uneeded stress on guests and they if they don't conform they look like party-poopers.

Wear red  ;)  

Answer 2

It's not improper at all. Everyone has rules or standards for weddings and that just happen to be one of them, they want their special day to be perfect that's all. There's nothing wrong with it, dress codes for wedding are actually common

Answer 3

Ummm yeah, its THIER wedding, so do what THEY want to do...if you dont want to wear black then dont go.....

Answer 4

I have seen it before. The bride probably wants everyone to "be the same" and she dosen't want anyone in Red or sparkles taking any kind of attention off her...By the sounds of this Bride, her husband wants everyone to wear black, because this mies well be his funeral. With a wife like this, his life is over.

Answer 5

I've never heard of the bridal couple dictating what guests should wear.

The couple may ask their guests to dress according to their theme (medieval, black and white, etc.) but they can't tell the guests what to wear.

What will they do if someone doesn't wear black? Not let the guest in the doors?

Answer 6

The word is "tell". No, they should not tell anyone to do anything. They can suggest. All black in October? Is this some sort of a trick or treat thing?

Good thing I'm not invited. Be a cold day when I go buy a new dress and shoes for a wedding just because some little girl wants to play act some stupid fantasy. And expect a gift, too.

Oh, oh, here comes a River's lecture, run, hide!  A wedding is the marking of a passage from childhood, to adulthood, from game playing to responsibility. Why, then this costume party Barbie doll fantasy tiara stuff? Grow up, people, before the wedding. .

I stick by ny opinion. Want to have a party? Have one, invite anybody you want, wear costumes, get drunk, do whatever. Want to have a wedding? Then have one with a bride that looks like a bride, not a princess doll, and guests who look like guests, not part of the funeral procession.

Answer 7

Screams bridezilla as far as I'm concerned, where do they get off  telling guests what to wear?????  

Answer 8

Why not?

I don't know why people think they can make decisions for other people's weddings.

When you get married, you can tell people to wear what you think is appropriate, but a wedding is about the bride and groom, not about you. This is the biggest day of their lives, and the one day that they get to tell people where to be, when, and what to wear. If they want you to wear a clown suit, either wear one and smile, or don't go. It's not up to you to question their decisions.  

Answer 9

yes it is proper but for the sake of their marriage wear happy bright colors....and just a little FYI if the bride and the groom want you to wear black to their wedding it means that they don't think their marriage will last.

Answer 10

its proper if your going 2 a frikin funeral

Answer 11

Sure, why not? its your big day, not theirs.  

Answer 12

They can ask.  They can encourage.  But if they turn you away at the door if you show up in pink, then they're being highly improper.  If the bride throws a hissy because her pictures are then "ruined" then she's a Bridezilla.

Someone put it really well - guests are not "walking decorations" for a wedding.  They are guests.  If they choose to participate in a theme, fine, but if not then they should be treated just as graciously as if they do.

Answer 13

No.....it is understood that only the bride wears all white and the mode of dress can be set by the bride & groom (casual, semi-formal, formal)

but it is very presumptuous to dictate to a guest what color to wear.....many people don;t feel comfortable wearing black, others don't feel they look their best in black.

You cannot 'request the honor of their presence' then dictate a dress code. They are guests and they have been invited to share in the special day, not living dolls to be dresses for a certain 'look'....that is taking themes to the extreme IMO. Micro-managing on a grand scale.

It is not proper request, in fact it's rather rude. it would serve them right in a way if guests decline because they cannot/willnot/can't find a black outfit.

Sounds ghoulish to me.

Answer 14

If you are having a theme wedding and it is well-known on the invitation, then most guests will probably try to accomodate you.  If you just want all your guest to look the same for no reason, then I think it is rude and weird to ask.  People come to your wedding because they love you and want to support you.  You shouldn't really care what they wear as long as they attend.  

Answer 15

Of course not, that's just sad. And controlling.

Answer 16

If that is what they want then it is ok.  If you don't want to wear all black for one day then decline the invitation.