Is it psychological?

Question

for some reason, a few years back, i had this girlfriend. everything was great and then we split up and all of a sudden i got really immature against her. i'd scream at her, say really mean things, this, that, just everything.

well i finally got over her, haven't talked to her in almost a year. i now have this new ex, everything was going great and we split up. i knew this time that nothing like the last time was gonna happen. i wouldn't do anything like that to anyone again.

and yet, it happens. i blow up at her for nothing. i guess we're still friends and hang out every once in awhile but when i wanna like hang out with her and she's out with other friends i tend to start an argument.

i told her that it's nothing personal it's just that i want to talk to her but i end up saying stupid things that i always take back.

i don't believe it to be a case of bi-polar. i honestly don't believe that i have that mental disorder. i just feel like when i start saying stupid **** that i just want to talk to her but some times it just feels like she doesn't want to talk to me which makes me kind of upset.

can anyone please explain in pretty good detail about what they think it could be

...maybe a heartbreak? i honestly don't know...

Answer 1

sounds like you have a bad temper or maybe you want to be in control all the time better see a shrink.

Answer 2

yes, it is psychological.

it's the frustration of being left behind with no apparent reason or explanation. when we are frustrated, we tend to feel that nobody is paying enough attention to our needs, even if they do.

if you really care about this girl, TELL HER.

if not, break yourself free from frustration, by letting her go. ;)

the ideea is to not fall into a pattern (scenario of life)  in which you unconcioussly make women run away from you, just for the "fun" of re-living your first love-story.

first of all, give yourself permission to love and be loved, no matter what happened years ago.

Answer 3

You are very young.  Situations like this are new in your life, and you may have a simple "impulse control" problem.  When you get an impulse to curse and yell at someone, you lose control and just do it.

Frustration buildup when someone won't listen to your logic, can cause explosive anger too.  It's all about having experience enough to know when to just walk away and move on to a better suited woman.

Maturity is a tough skill to master.  It takes time and you are doing the best you can.  You know the problem, now figure out a better way to handle it next time it comes up.  Then try to go through the meeting before it takes place.  Set limits for yourself.  Control your anger by not letting it get so far gone that you explode.

One day, you will find Ms. Right, and you don't want to mess that up, so start working on self control today.

Don't label yourself with psychological disorders.  Labels don't mean squat!  

Answer 4

I think you need to find ways to control your anger....

It seems like anger is the reason you lash out at them or say things you end up regretting later.

Answer 5

I think it could be...

Anger, hurt, resentment, all without the benefit of some good old fashioned self-control.

  Your emotions and feelings are yours and yours alone, they are never wrong and they can change quickly and drastically.  It's how you deal with those emotions and their rapid changes that you are asking about.  

We as humans cannot always control our emotions, but we can control our bodies.  Our mouths are part of our bodies.  Saying hurtful things is no less painful than physically injuring someone.  Words spoken in anger can wound deeply and echo in a person's mind for years.  

The good news is that you yourself know it's 'stupid ****' and that you don't want to behave like you are behaving.  Take time to practice in your own mind what you might say or do when one of your situations happens again.  Whether it's a break up, or if an ex is busy with others, you can imagine these in your mind and work on your responses.  That way when it actually happens, your brain and body are ready to respond in a kinder more appropriate way.