Is it really advisable to adopt a child? What are the advantages & disadvantages of adoption? Pls help?

Question

I am thinking of adopting a child coz my husband & I are still in medications for infertility problems. We're already married for quite some time now and I havent got pregnant. We are also financially secured, but thinking of adoption is something we still cant decide. But we are also willing and longs for a child in our house. We are much willing to love her and give her education and attend to her needs. But we have so many questions in our mind though. All the "what ifs".....it maybe positive or negative or will it turn out good or will it just cause something that we might regret later.

Answer 1

Find a reputable agency. Be prepared because the costs can be high to do the adoption itself. Be sure have both parents signed off before you go home with the child. I am in a nightmare contesting the adoption of my daughter, but do believe adoption can be a wonderful thing  when all parties involved agree to the best interests. you and your hubby seem to have yourselves together and will eventually become great AP's if you decide to adopt. I can answer a lot of the good and bad questions about adoption. hopefully you avoid the traps and pitfalls in the murky waters of the adoption industry. feel free to email and good luck

Answer 2

You won't regret anything. Being an adpoted child, my parents say that i am more special that if they had one of their own. Adopting is a great idea and can help alot of kids. If my birthmother didn't give me up, i could be living on the streets right now. Adopt young like a day old like me! Good Luck!

Answer 3

It's an illusion to assume that any "natural" child will be perfect and fit right in. MANY natural children don't, and have lots of problems of their own----don't idealize them. A natural child could also end up with a personality just like your LEAST favorite relative, too.

Go for it! Trust fearlessly in the future---that's what your adopted child will be. Accept and treasure her uniqueness.

Answer 4

I think if you still have this much doubt, the child would be better off in a home where there is no doubt.  The child will suffer if there is regret or lingering doubt.

When you are ready, you will know and won't have to come to y/a to find out if you are.

Answer 5

There are no regrets that you could have with and adopted child that you couldn't have with a natural child.  Go for it.  It will be the greatest thing you will do in your life.

Answer 6

It is good that you're asking yourself these questions.  Adoption is not all a bed of roses, and it is not the same as raising a biological child.  Your first order of business is to grieve your losses, which are substantial.  I'm so sorry to hear that you're having fertility issues!

Once you are ready to move on to researching adoption, you'll need to know that it can be very hard on the child, as well.  Here are some good books to get you started:

The Primal Wound

Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew

Helping children cope with separation and loss

If you read the above books, and do some more research, and you decide that adoption is for you, please consider adopting a foster child.  There are over 100,000 children in the US foster system who NEED homes.

Domestic infant adoption is rife with corruption and coercion of natural mothers, and deception of natural fathers.  Not to mention, it's often not necessary to separate these women and their babies. A baby doesn't care if his/her mom has a good job or apartment...s/he already knows her when s/he is born, and all that baby wants is MOM.

Please choose wisely, and take care of yourself!  Good luck on your journey.

Answer 7

I was going to suggest foster care adoption but I see it has already been mentioned. Gaia Raain has given you a good start. It can work, it can be great. I hope you have enough respect for your child to be opened about his/her adoption and first family. I hope your intentions are to help a child in need and not to help your need for a child.

Answer 8

If you are ready for a child, there can be no doubts or regrets. Adoption is the real thing. The child is the same as if you had given birth to him or her. If you are worried about "what if"s then you are not ready to have a child by adoption or otherwise. Having a child, either by birth or adoption should never have regrets.

Answer 9

I think it can be very positive, as long as you understand that if you give birth to a child or if you adopt one, they can be mean, angry, and hurtfull and times. But I believe in the nobality of the human spirit and that we are all born good. I think if you choose a child and adopt them and love them and care for them, you will have a good experience. Just make sure you treat him/her like your own, even in the future if you happen to have your own child. One problem is that you can get a drug baby. It's a sensitive subject because yes I believe that all babies need love but a drug baby can have a lot of problems. I am not a drug baby but I have ADHD, some kids that were drug babies won't have many problems and some can have a lot. Try to do a back ground check on the situation because you go in if you aren't willing to deal  with a special needs child.