Is it really rude to not say "i'm sorry" when someone tells you of someone close to them that passed away?

Question

Is it really rude to not say "i'm sorry" when someone tells you of someone close to them that passed away?

Answer 1

i would like to know that too, cause sometimes i have felt that way, maybe it was a good thing, like the scripture says, it is better the day a man dies, than the day he is born,        so maybe you are thinking in those terms, and do not really want to offend, but do not share those emotions,   but i think over all it is better to perhaps say you share their sorrow,     of couse you do not want to be a liar, but really, even when loved ones go to Heaven, there is sorrow,     i wish i knew,

Answer 2

It is good manners to express regret in some way.  Either say "I'm sorry", or "oh, no", or just make that "ohhhh" humming sound that people make sometimes.

Answer 3

You do not have to say your sorry, but it would be appropriate to offer : "My condolence". I have felt that this is more appropriate unless you knew the deceased very well, then more needs to be said.

Answer 4

You have my deepest sympathies is a better response because for  you to say i am sorry is not right if you did not know the deceased . You might say i am truly sorry for youre loss but usually my deepest symphaties will do.

Answer 5

Well, usually when one tells you that a friend died or whomever, they are sad and looking for comfort.  So say something, at least about how sad the person must feel.  An then tell them that you hope that they will be OK and they should stay with another friend or family for a few days.  Something like this.

Answer 6

When someone dies the people that care for them need comforting.  Saying you are sorry to hear about the death is one well-established way of stating your concern.  Also,  saying they are now in a better place, and to try and remember all the joyous times helps as well.  You are doing it for them-not for you.  When  someone ask if they look good in that dress or this outfit they want to hear yes.  People generally don't pick out clothes that they think make them look fat, short, tall, skinny, bleached, etc....

Some things in life you do for people.  Expressing empathy and sympathy for someone you might not know is doing both.  Many of the things that we do surrounding death are for the friends and family and not for the recently deceased.  After all, most dead people don't complain.

Answer 7

No, it's rude to say something inappropriate.

Choosing not to be soothing, isn't rude. It's small. Crass maybe. Certainly grace-less.

What it means is "I'm sorry FOR YOU"... and "I'm sorry YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS"... and "I'm sorry for YOUR LOSS"... it's not rude, to say nothing sympathetic -- it simply shows you either don't care, or have no Life Experience or simply shows who you are... don't fret.

Answer 8

It is unsympathetic. And ill mannered.

Answer 9

Not rude.. no.. rude would be to make a crude remark or start laughing.. it's just thoughtful to say...''I am sorry to hear that'' if someone mentioned someone close to them passed away.. it's good manners but it's not rude to say nothing...

Answer 10

If you got pulled over by the police for speeding, and you tell the officer of someone close to you has passed away, and the officer does not say "I'm sorry", he is not being rude.

If you tell someone very close to you that this other someone close to you passed away, and the person drops you an unemotional "I'm sorry", he is being rude.

Answer 11

My dad died when I was seven. Everytime I meet a new person it seems like it's only a matter of time before that topic comes up. Now, it doesn't actually annoy me as such (even though I've had almost 20 years of it) because I fell the sentiment behind the words but I wish people would say something other than "I'm sorry". I always feel like saying, "you didn't do anything wrong!!!".

I would rather people say, "That must have been hard on your family" or "It must make you sad still" or something that conveys understanding, not an apology

Answer 12

It is always appropriate to same some words of consolation to someone who has lost a dear one to death.  Not doing so is rude.