Is it really that strange that I don't date?

Question

I've decided not to date or “chase”, if chase is the right word, girls. But, I get lots of flak from my friends and family. My mom thinks it's strange the I don't try to get a girlfriend. My friends think it's strange, some think I'm g*y. All I want to do is concentrate on my school work, get a doctoral degree, and go into the field of space habitation. I know this is a hard goal and it's even harder with my primary life goal of building a habitation on the moon, supporting 1000 people 10 years after I complete my undergraduate degree. I just don't think I'll have time for girls, and this project of mine is a passion. I do, sort feel lonely, but I feel completing this goal will bring me so much joy, that suffering will be worth it.

My last attempt at getting a girl took so much of my energy and time, I just have the resources to maintain such a relationship.

I'm 17 FYI. So, is it really strange that I have no interest in entering a committed relationship.

Answer 1

It's not strange your just focused! Just make sure that something good doesn't come your way and you miss out. I would at least be open to dating someone, but only if you think they may be someone really special and that respects your ambitions!

Answer 2

No its not strange, and good for you not like you need to be in a relationship your only 17, you have plenty of time for that. do what you need to do, who cares what people think.  The idiots are the ones that cant stand not to be in a relationship and half the time its ends in a bad break up or divorce because they don't get their ducks in order before jumping from one relationship to another.

Its a great way to know yourself and find out what you want.  

Answer 3

Ask your friends why they think you're g*y.

"Well, you don't date girls!"

"I also don't date guys, dumbass. Way to fail logic."

It's not really strange that you don't date. I choose to be alone as well, though that's just because I'm misanthropic. To each their own, you know?

Answer 4

At 17 you shouldn't be thinking about a committed relationship anyway so it isn't strange at all and it is good you are focusing on your future goals but you might get lonely not having anything more to your life than studying then work.  

Answer 5

There's nothing strange about that. A lot of people forgo dating and relationships to focus on education and their career.

Answer 6

I dont think its strange at all. School is something that should always come first, reaching your goals is included in that. You could always have like dates and not be dating anyone but just go out every once and a while cause everyone deserves a break. :)  

Answer 7

Please. My uncle is the exact same way. He's a young dude by the way. Hes going into so much stuff with college and masters degree he says he doesn't have time for girls. So don't listen to your friends. I think it's stranger that u have blonde hair lol.

Answer 8

I don't think it strange to not want to date...there is absolutely nothing wrong with this! It is smart, awesome, and a mature type decision you have made for yourself, perhaps if others were to do the same thing and worry initially what their goals are and focus on their own lives for awhile then maybe the rate of dis-contentedness and budding resentment of one another in relationships might diminish...Dam it a persons life is not all about date and date chasing. Having to have a relationship or believe that one has to be involved intimately with another to become complete and a happy person should not be such the powerful focal point of a persons life. I am impressed and commend you highly for leading by example not caving to pressure of peers and family. You obviously will succeed because of the tenacity and determination you have recently decided on, all the other stuff can still BE again once you finish with success.

You know, girls I have been told will continue to be in existence for at least 10 more years, so no worries i'm figuring you got at least a good 9 years ahead of you before doomsday....LOL

Answer 9

I don't think it's strange but I think most people will. Some people don't date because they think it's pointless unless they can find that ONE person they think they can spend their entire life together with. Other people date constantly, and I have had some friends admit that they date just because they don't like to be alone. Obviously everyone is different and if you don't want to date for the sake of dating (and being what society thinks is normal) then I think your head is right on track. You're not bothering anyone, or shouldnt be bothering anyone, so you do what you feel comfortable with and later on in your life, you'll find someone.

*also a relationship shouldnt be that much work, if it's too much drama, someone clearly has issues or it just wasnt meant to be. You shouldnt have to change who you are, or have to compromise about everything.

*but it's always a good idea to try to improve yourself

*and if you never go out there and look (you dont have to do it now) but you might never find someone. My mom has several aunts that have ended up alone.

*sometimes I feel lonely, even though I'm with someone (long distance) and I think it's because of the standards of society because when I'm not on the computer, I'm feeling great just being alone. As soon as I come online and people ask me, "Why are you home on a friday?" and other things like that I start to get sad. Even though When I used to go out, I would never go out on fridays, I would go out on thursdays. =)

Answer 10

Not at all, but alot of girls think it's attractive when a guy isn't after them all the time, and he has a real goal in life, so be prepared for some girls ;D

Tell your friends and family what you typer here, they'll understand

Answer 11

I don't find it strange at all to be honest with you. I commend you all the way, for wanting to focus on studying & getting your degree. Some men have a passion for women & some men have a passion for getting themselves well educated, so as to be successful in life. People who really know you, know you aren't g*y. I hate how people stereotype people when they're not just like them. Don't waste your time on them. Someday, you may have a different outlook on dating, & besides, you've got your whole life ahead of you, for that. Good luck & much success.

Answer 12

I don't think it's weird.

Answer 13

having a few mates wont hurt. while continuing your passion you'll meet people just as passionate as you. You are just fine the way you are. Stay up!

Answer 14

No sweetheart>>I don't think it's strange at all!!!!!! I wish you the very best that life has to offer. But one bit of advice for you.. Stop worrying or thinking about what other people are thinking of you and how you want to conduct YOUR life. I think it's wonderful you have a goal in life and you want to persue it. GOOD LUCK in what ever you do!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEERS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...