Is it really too much to ask of your girlfriend or wife?

Question

To just let me be.

I'm not a huge gamer, but I have a very specific type of computer game that I really enjoy. Every now and then a good one comes out that I really enjoy. I like to play it until I get at least beat it once. Which could take a few hours a day for a couple weeks.

The problem is that my girl is constantly complaining that "all you ever do is play games" every time I try to start it up. It's a non stop guilt trip. I mean, if I could just have a few hours to myself without constant interruptions, I'd be done with it. When the game is going, it really is constant interruptions. Requests for small favors, complaints, constant talking about stuff I really don't care much about, ect... If I were just sitting there, staring at the ceiling doing nothing, she wouldn't bother me for a second! Is it that she just doesn't like it when I have fun?

Same thing happens when I'm trying to watch a movie by myself. (one I know she does not like)

Answer 1

It sounds like you both have a pathetic, couch potato existence. You might consider taking up some actual stimulating, engaging, active hobbies that involve real world experience. It is probably the only thing that will solve the problem. If your gf's idea of quality time together is watching reality shows, I can see why that's a pain in your ***. Find some more interesting things to do together. And spending several hours a day on a game for a "couple of weeks" is pretty lame, not matter how you try to justify it.  How do you have time to exercise if you are doing that?

Answer 2

This all depends.  Are you ignoring her completely for that few weeks in which you're trying to beat the game?  If so, then I think she has a legitimate complaint.  If, however, you are taking quality time out to spend with her, she should leave you to work on your game.

My husband plays Flight Simulator quite a bit, but never to the exclusion of everything else.

Answer 3

Women like to mother their men - men hate it.

If she likes to sleep in, start getting up a couple of hours before her and use that time for yourself.

Or take the computer to the office.

Or sound insulate one room and put a lock on the door.

Or snarl at her when she interrupts.

If she constantly invades your "me" time, that's abusive.

Answer 4

god.....its like ur going around with a crazy control freak!!! well, first of all go tell her all these thiings that u have taken time out to type over here! if she still doesnt get it, dude, u deserve better! just dump her and wait till u find someone else who u might find interesting!!!!

if u rele love her, talk to her about all u feel, DONT FIGHT ABOUT IT and tell her to give u just a few hours by urself. if things dont work out, well, u know whatta do!

cheers n besties!!

Answer 5

eh. i hate when my bf plays games a lot. he doesnt play much but he wanted a video game shirt in hot topic and i called him a nerd. and kinda got really mad cuz it was a bright yellow ugly shirt. and hes hot (i just dont think so other people do too) and has a good body, and i guess i didnt want a video game boyfriend. but it never go that far that i complain all the time like crazy. i dont live with him though. that could be the problem.

just tell her that you need 2 hours a day to play it and thats it. for "you" time. if you spent 24/7 with her, youd get tired of her. in my LMS/premarital counseling class we even were told that even married couples have different jobs for a reason. theyd get sick of each other all the time. it showed that spouses who work together fight more often than ones that dont. you need some time to yourself. tell her that.

after a while i realized sometiems he just needs to play his games, cuz he doesnt that often and i just ignore it now.

Answer 6

You need to balance your time with your girlfriend and your games.  

This is a person versus a game!

Tell her you want to spend (pick a day) playing your game, dedicated to that, because it makes you happy, it's your hobby.  She should understand that.

That way she can plan her day to be doing something she wants to do.

Answer 7

I happen to love both computer and console games. It can be so frustrating when someone who can not understand your enjoyment is constantly trying to get your to do something else. "Get a life," they say. But who's to say what "having a life" really is? Most people base their life around societal ideals. But to me "having a life" is doing what you love, not matter what it is.

I personally would give you time to yourself.

Answer 8

lol funny and sad.

Problem is, when you are doing nothing, she is doing nothing with you. She is content with your presence.

Hopefully it will not get to this, but if you split, you will know what I mean by content with your presence.

When you are in another room away from her, she will not feel your presence, therefore want be content. It would make her feel lonely even if you feel that you are there, you are not.

Be careful whether you choose to ignore whats going on. Maybe you are away too much while you are there : /

Edit

The best thing I could suggest is that if you could get her to enjoy what you are doing, maybe setup a permanent LAN party for 2 to enjoy.

You may even find that sometimes she will play, sometimes she wont and if you are lucky, the times she doesnt, she may actually leave you alone.

Answer 9

Why can't you just tell her that this is what you want? A few hours to yourself is no skin off her nose.

Answer 10

She needs to understand that you have a "hobby". We all need something that we enjoy doing and if she cares atall about you then she should atleast give you some personal time.

I was going to suggest that you put aside some time each week where you both do something together, however as she is allways too tired etc to do anything with you I would seriously be considering my options.

My girlfriend hates me playing Eve Online as it does take up alot of my time, however we do things together and go places. Also I will spend an evening now and then sat with her watching absolute c**p on TV and she knows I dont like whats on but she appreciates that I sit there with her, spending time together.

Tell her its not a computer game, its a hobby, if she then moans tell her to get a hobby herself and tell her how when you want to do something with her that you both could enjoy she makes her excuses. She needs to buck up her ideas Im afraid and if not then its time to seriously thing about  what itll be like years down the line.

Answer 11

She does sound a bit needy

Although I've only heard your side of the story :-)