Is it right for a grandmother to have to raise their grandchild?

Question

because her little teenage daughter decided to have s*x without birth control and wants to live her life the way she did before she had a baby.....Should anyone have to do this?

I don't think they should. I would be ashamed if i ever done my mom like that.

Answer 1

I don't think the grandmother should be put the responsibility to raise her grandchildren. It is the mother and/or father's duty, and that is how it goes.  

Answer 2

Do not forget that the girl is a teenager, not an adult.  Adults do the exact same thing (with a supposedly fully developed brain and more experience).  There is a reason why she's having s*x.  I don't think the grandmother should be obligated, but she definitely needs to take control of the situation with her daughter.

Monique

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Answer 3

There is NO easy answer here.

Unfortunately, today's society has gotten to the point where many grandparents are raising their grandchildren, and it is almost EXPECTED. And my answer is NO.. it should not be an obligation. It has to be a choice. If it is an obligation, then many teens never learn what responsibility is.

At the time this happened with my oldest daughter (16), I was a single parent, and struggling to deal with providing for a younger child. As harsh as it may sound.. THERE WAS NO WAY I could have provided a home for a baby. My daughter made the choice to get married.. which has turned into more of a nightmare than I care to describe. She made a choice, and it did not turn out how she expected.

Today's teens seem (to me) to have an incredible.. and destructive.. sense of being entitled to everything, including the ultimate of having a child and not raising that child.  It simply is not how the real world operates.  

Answer 4

No grandparent HAS to do that if they don't want to.  If a grandparent is stupid enough to let the daughter live their life as she did before, that's their choice.

Answer 5

There is no right or wrong when it comes to a child.  Grandparents cannot turn their backs on an innocent child, especially their grandchild.  The baby is the continuation of life.

Yes, it is a shame that the parents have abandoned their child, for whatever reason.  However, after all is said and done, the baby is still there and still needs loving care.  There is no other option.

Congrats to you.  I know that you will not be in that predicament.  Pray every night that others see the light.

God bless you for caring.

Answer 6

If my son got a girl pregnant I would help as much as possible.  The same goes for my daughter.  I would also try to teach them that this is their child and they must grow up and take responsibility for their baby. In the mean time I would do everything in my power to take care of the baby/babies(twins run in my family).  It may not be FAIR but life is not always FAIR.

Answer 7

No, they shouldn't have to, but it is the right thing to do under the circumstances. I know if my kid did this, I would take the baby before I'd have it put up for adoption.

Answer 8

if my child did that i would consider raising my grandchild because i would love my child very much and no matter what they'd done i would still want them to have the best chance (I'm talking if a teen age 12 - 15 got pregnant, any older then that and they can take responsibility for it)

i doubt my child will ever become a teen parent though because i will teach them about contraception.

Answer 9

she shouldnt HAVE TO but in my opinion that is the best option, it is the right thing to do. It is better for the child than to be put in the foster care system where so many kids have to go through so much instability and emotional trauma, anything to save a child from "the system".

Answer 10

I will NOT be raising my Grandchildren. There is NO WAY I will be.

If our children even dare think this, you can bet I will be putting them straight.

We just got to have faith that our kids will not become a statistic & that we've raised them right.

Answer 11

of course its not right. I work with a 20 year old girl who had a baby at 17. now her mom raises the kid and he more or less thinks of his real mother as a sister. she works two jobs to pay for all his medical bills (he has a lot of health problems as a result of being born 3 months early). it kind of depresses me when I see how hard her mom works and how she parties her life away. I have a daughter and my mother sees her whenever she wants, but doesn't take on the burden of raising a child that I decided to have!

Answer 12

No it's not right. I'm not sure how old your daughter is but I got pregnant at 17 and my mom has definitely helped me a lot but she never "raised" my daughter for me. Of course tho as a new mom I could use all the help I could get. I wish your daughter could understand how to step up and be the mother she's supposed to be. But I hope you are proud of her for making the right choice and keeping her baby. Granted us kids do stupid things, but we need our mothers to teach us right from wrong. I'm sure she knows she isn't acting like a good mother but maybe that's because she doesn't know how and is too scared to learn. I hope instead of holding this against her you show her how to love her baby and how to be the best mother she can be. The most important thing my mom did was encourage encourage and encourage me some more. Negative attitudes don't get you anywhere, she taught me that. My mom has always been the biggest love in my life, she loves me through everything. That has helped me to love my daughter more than anything. I hope you are encouraged to love your daughter more every day.

Answer 13

it's not "right" but often the girls mother would rather that than the girl have an abortion, have baby adopted or bring the child up badly

Answer 14

Yes, I agree with you.  It is not right, but if the teenage daughter has messed up, for whatever the reason, I applaud the grandmother who comes to the rescue of the precious new life.  And if the daughter is not ashamed today, she will be when she matures and grows up.

Answer 15

Should they /have to/? No.

Should they? Yes. They can try to raise the grandchild better than they did with their own child who went off and got pregnant too soon. I wouldn't want to see the grandchild turn out worse, it is a parent's responsibility to educate about sexual protection.

We're talking about a life here, and while the grandmother shouldn't have to do this (although she should have raised her own child better), it is no reason to let the grandchild's life become a disaster.

Answer 16

I think if she does not want the responsibility of a baby then she should have thought before she opened her legs.  Also she could have put it up for adoption.

It's not fair and it is not right.  BUT the grandmother probably loves the baby and will raise it better then her first.  

Answer 17

No, I don't think it is.  If I ever have a daughter who gets pregnant as a teen (and I pray I raise her better than that), she will have my emotional support but nothing more.  She may still live at home, but she will get a job to pay rent for herself and her baby.  She will pay for all of her baby's diapers, clothes, and other necessities as well.  I will only buy things and babysit as much as a typical grandmother would; she would not get handouts based on the fact that she's a young mother.  She made the choice to have s*x, she got pregnant, and now she has to grow up.  It's called tough love, but I think it would be best for her and my grandchild.