Is it right on your friends part is he/she is tellin g you what others say behind your back?

Question

is this a good habit or are such people called gossipers?

Answer 1

It could be a problem if he/she is reporting back to the others your reactions and what you're saying.

Some people get a thrill from stirring up the stink.  In other words, they will pit one side against another.

Maybe your friend is just being a good friend and is on your side, but maybe not.  In either case, I'd be very careful what I say and do, in case it's being reported to others.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say that it's a good habit, but depending on the situation and whether or not his/her intentions are good, it sometimes helps us change things about ourselves if we know how others perceive us.

I personally don't like to repeat gossip I hear to the person being talked about, but at the same time I would want to know if others were seeing something negative in me that my being aware of would make me change for the better. So basically, I think it's the spirit in which the gossip is repeated that means the most. Repeating gossip just for the sake of gossiping is always wrong.

Answer 3

dear humming b,

i think she tell that to you she nust be telling other a bout what you say about them.

Answer 4

It's not right .... and would make me wonder what she is telling those others who are talking behind your back.

Answer 5

Its a good rule to follow that someone who enjoys giving you all the latest about someone else, told to them in confidence, that they will do the same with anything they learn about you.

Habitual gossiping is a compulsion that people engage in when they feel uncomfortable talking about themselves.  Its an easy conversation starter and gives them a chance to be the center of attention without a lot of creativity or effort. Often, especially in a work setting, by having gossip about persons of power over them and their peers, they can try to appear as "closer to the source" than anyone else -- giving them a sense of specialness or power.

If this person just said something that you really needed to hear once and doesn't do this often then I'd subscribe it to loyalty and a conscious decision.  Otherwise, I'd ascribe the behavior to the above and make a point to not tell this person anything personal or potentially damaging to me.

By the way, these people are great blow-horns and news broadcasters.  If there IS something you want to start floating around, especially in the office, for whatever reason, just pull aside your personal communication device and get talking!

Guaranteed the entire workplace will know in a day and if that's what you wanted, there's no better way to get it around.  You can even get these people to not want to say where they got the info from (as information about persons of position they usually want to make appear came "direct" from the source).

Yeah, I know its evil, but I'm just saying.  When you have lemons, make lemonade.

Answer 6

there's no problem with this; it's simply an indicator of where this friend's loyalty lies (in this case, with you..!)..

Answer 7

No what I think about that is, If they are saying all this to me, what are they saying behind my back? These people can't help themselves.

Answer 8

If I honestly wanted to know what people thought of me, and I asked her to tell me, I'd want her to tell me the truth.

If she's just offering it without me asking, and she's getting a kick out of telling me the bad stuff then it's wrong. Sounds like she just wants to stir problems.

Really depends on the situation.

Answer 9

No this is wrong.  This is a person who is kissing up to you and doesn't mind if your feelings get hurt in the process.  As your friend, they may only be loyal to you, but how do you know for sure?

It's better to have a friend who just stands by you no matter what they know others do and say behind your back.