Question:

Is it right to compare other people?

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If your parent(s) "try" to motivate you, is it right for them to compare you to your siblings, family friend, or other people. Or should they allow you to be who you are?

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  1. I would never compare my children to each other. I think it just creates unnecessary tension.


  2. They should allow you to be who you are, I do not think that would be the right thing to do. Then it might make the other sibling or family friend feel like they are not that good. And they may feel left out.

  3. It isn't right, but it happens. Unfortunately parents are only looking out for your best interests; thus they look for any motivation. As you said, you are different and If you disagree you should discuss this with them in a mature way, the compliments both parties of course.

  4. It depends on the circumstances and what is being said. There are instances where comparison can be motivating or educational.

    So and so is involved these activities and is taking honors classes. She is disciplined and good at time management. She doesn't make excuses. She just does it. She has a lot of friends and seems very happy. She's not that different from you.

    I don't think a parent should be on repeat. I don't think a parent should put down a child. The objective should be to motivate the child to put forth a little more effort or to complain less.

    edit: Like it or not, it does happen in the business world when going after employment. Candidate A vs Candidate B

    It can be an appropriate tool if used with care and thought.

  5. They should allow you to be who you are - comparing like that just causes hurt feelings and resentment for the person they are being compared to.

  6. no not at all  all children are different  nothing your sister dose or brother  make any difference like my older sisters were swats at school but i struggled ,,,  my mum said i was thick ?/ but I'm the one with a good job not my swatter sisters ... both are alcoholics... i don't drink .. both suffer from bipolar  me I'm just me.. its very wrong to ever compare your children... we have 11 children 7 boys and 4 girls

    all are good in there own way

    1 has adhd...1 has down syndrome

    1 has  mild cerebral palsy... so would be impossible to compare any of are children
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