Is it right to despise your friend because he has befriended your enemy?

Question

Is it right to despise your friend because he has befriended your enemy?

Answer 1

mmmm, I would certainly feel very betrayed & let down :( talk 2 her about it!

Answer 2

i don't think despise would be the correct word, but i would definitely be irked. that happened to me, and i am irked, but i basically kept telling myself that i was friends with him before she even knew him. plus he's going out with my best friend, and she doesn't like this enemy either. we all go out paint balling and have many inside jokes, events in which she does not partake.

i don't let my enemy decide my friends.

Answer 3

It is a normal human response.  We are weak, fragile beings.  We hurt easily.  Betrayal is difficult to reconcile.

Answer 4

Yes, I know what you mean. The enemy always sems to be there. It seems he is always right in the middle. No, maybe move away from this friend and find someone new.  

Answer 5

no, it has nothing to do with you who ur friends are friends with.

Answer 6

How good of a friend would you be if you did?

Answer 7

Why should your friend get involved in your unresolved conflicts?

The dispute is between two people. Should your friend take any side then what happens if the conflict is resolved?

Better to see your friend as an open door to settle your differences.

Answer 8

i have this problem 1 of my good friends is very good friends with som1 i hate and us to good friends with that prick is also turning my friend against me and i relies theres nothing i can do i cant chose his friends for him and hope he sees the right way

Answer 9

...it takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.

hehehehe

but it's not right to despise a friend because he has befriended an enemy.

respect each other's opinion.

what is food to one, is to others bitter poison.

but keep your eyes wide open.

nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend; much more a wise enemy.

Answer 10

tell them how you feel, and be sure you know why you hate your enemy

Answer 11

it wouldnt make me feel good for sure, but 1st i'd want to know how that friendship came about coz there might be sth there to keep an open mind about.  

Answer 12

Well, it doesn't feel very good when that happens. Although, just because you don't get along with someone, doesn't mean that your friend can't have a good connection with them.

It's not right or fair, but that's the way everyone feels when it happens. You have to come to a point where you can be okay with it and accept this. You might feel like you can't trust your friend because of who they are associating with, but that's not always the case.

Good luck with that.

Answer 13

Nope. I cannot tell a person or a friend whom to choose as a friend. If they chose to befriend my enemy, so be it. In that way, I would know my enemy's weaknesses or he/she (enemy) could be my friend in the end, who knows? hehehe.

I think those who chose to despise their friend is just insecure or jealous. He/she might have some secrets or skeletons that he/she fears of being exposed to the other side of the fence and lose his/her credibility to the friend.

Answer 14

yes, i live by the saying that "the friend of my enemy is my enemy."

Answer 15

There are so many wise sayings on this page.

I am very much afraid I can no longer "detract or add" anything.

I specially like "I do not let my enemy decide who my friends are, and "My enemy's friend is my enemy".   No one seems to have come up with "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer", but it does not seem relevant, so scratch it.

Yet everyone is expected to take a stand here.  So, here goes.

I will only despise this friend if this friend turns out to be a man, my own s*x, but I can never despise a girl friend, no matter that she befriended my enemy,  because it is written in my genes to adore the opposite s*x.

Answer 16

You can't control who people want to be friends with. Despising your friend because of that just shows a weakness in you.

Answer 17

can't lie to myself that i will despise her in my heart but i try as good as i can to act stupid. as long as she/he still doing fine with me, then it should be okay. BUT, there will be no more secrets sharing between me and her/him. Becareful before someone stab me.

Answer 18

No..... but understandably would make anyone uncomfortable

Keep your friendship separate from this enemy and never discus the person never comment and  don't allow your friend to bring the subject up !

Answer 19

It depends on your friend's intentions of befriending your enemy. If he's up to ruin your reputation then go ahead and throw him into the garbage. But otherwise give him the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 20

No because the best expression you can have towards your enemy is to love them  

Answer 21

no, it isn't right.

Answer 22

depends on what kind of friend he is. if he is basically a good person and somebody i can trust, then no problem. but if i know they could be talking about me behind my back then it's another matter.

Answer 23

not at all!

Answer 24

No.  That is not fair.  Just because he is your friend, he still has a right to pick his own friends and enemies.  You do not control people like that.