Is it right to get married because I am very depressed and feel very lonley?

Question

Hi guys..I am 39 years old in USA moved there 8 years ago.I am tired of meanigless life.I want marriage...kid and family.I lost my mother and 2 weeks ago my sister.I have just a brother left.I am so depressed and crying all the time.Do you think this is a right decistion? Anybody will marry me with my condition?Thanks

Answer 1

No! Don't get married b/c your lonely.  You get married when you fall in love with someone.  And want to spend the rest of your life with them.  Don't hurt someone else just b/c your lonely.

Answer 2

Hi Ali, look i know how you really feel 'cause it happened to me 3 years ago, i lost my father too and i moved to an other country, and i know exactly how u feel, look marriage would be good for u in this age ok, and may be your wife would get u out of this loneliness, but first u need to know how to deal with ur pain and try to forget the past and start a new life then i think it would be the best time to get married, try to hang out with ur friends and there's million ways to enjoy the life believe me, i was just like u but now i'm stronger and i learned how to deal with life, i'm sorry for ur lost , wish u the best in life..

Answer 3

you cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself..  it sound corny, but very true.  you need to find some sort of strength and love of yourself before asking someone to love you...  if you go on and get married while still feeling empty and lonely, the person you married will have to try to fill all your emptiness and loneliness, and  most likely you wont be able to do it back.  People are only capable of doing so much, you need to be able to rely on yourself before trying to be with anyone else.    

Answer 4

First of I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's passing but, your going about this thing all wrong. You don;t want to go into a marriage with your eyes closed. But try and find yourself a nice boyfriend before jumping the gun, because sometimes people get married for the wrong reasons and I think that's why there are too many break ups. Use your head.

Answer 5

You probably aren't emotionally ready for something as drastic as marriage but it seems like you definetly need to make some positive changes in your life.  

It seems like your biggest problem is loneliness and isolation. A new circle of friends and new activities might help you alot!!.  Sometimes the best way to overcome grief is by helping others.  Volunteerism is good for the soul.  Here are some ideas:

Join a church and become active with new friends that you meet there.  A larger church will have more planned activities and social functions that you can participate in.

Do some volunteer work. Meals on Wheels, NAMI, and civic organizations in your home town are good places for you to find a good circle of friends.

Consider taking an international exchange student.  

Find a grief support group.  Talk to others who have experienced the same kind of losses that you have.  It always heps to know that you aren't alone and you aren't the only person dealing with this. It would be nice to have a few friends who truly understand how devastating it is to lose a family member because they just lost one too.  

If you enjoy children, there are lots of places where you can volunteer.  Children can bring a freshness and a source of laughter into your life. Volunteer to help in the nursery at your church.  My church is always asking for volunteers in this department!  You would be very appreciated.

Maybe you could do some after school tutoring for some students who are having trouble keeping up in school.  

If you are still feeling really hopeless then you might need professional advice.  Go to your family doctor and talk about this.  Perhaps a temporary sleep aid would get you rested enough to handle your problems.  Or maybe you need an anti-depressant.  Your doctor can help with these decisions.

Study after study has proven beyond doubt that a paid counselor is no more helpful than talking to a close friend.  If you can find someone to confide in, talk to that person.  If your insurance covers it, try to find a professional couselor to offer guidance and support as you navigate through this stage of your life.  

Keep reassuring yourself that this will pass.  You will alsways miss your mother and your sister but after a while, you will recover enough to carry on a whole day without thinking about them.  This overwhelming grief is temporary.

Answer 6

NO.

Answer 7

No, don't marry based on this. You will be so clingy to them they won't be able to bare it. You need to go talk to a therapist about why you feel so down. If you've not had many long lasting relationships then you need to look at the reason why.

Answer 8

Absolutely not!!

Answer 9

No! Seek some counseling first. And you wouldn't marry just anyone would you?

Answer 10

You are looking for something to fill the Void... Marriage will NOT make things better. There will be more Head and heart ache. And loads of stress. You would be marrying for all the wrong reasons. Marriage Is something special between two people. You have to be in love in order for the whole thing to work out right. If you just get married to get married. To make yourself feel better it will not work. i would suggest going to some support groups in your area. Where you could meet friends. Sounds to me like you need a friend right now to listen to how you are feeling. NOT marriage!

Stop referring to yourself as a condition. You have to grieve your losses. I would also suggest going to a councilor.

Answer 11

You shouldn't be marrying someone just because you are depressed and lonely. You cannot depend on anyone else to make you happy - you have to be able to do that for yourself.

It's okay to try and start dating - but don't just jump into a marriage. It's not fair for you or the other person.  

Answer 12

No, you shouldn't marry in your current emotional state. That is cheating yourself, your future spouse, and any children that may come along. Seek counseling, and one you are at a better place emotionally, then start looking for a partner for your life. Please accept my condolences on the loss of two very special women, but keep in mind that they wouldn't want you to spend your life acting as if you are already dead.

Answer 13

No.

Do not. Its not fair to yourself, or someone else to marry if you really dont feel you are in love with someone. Youll end up being even more unhappy than you already are.

You have time dont worry.

Let love come to you.

Dont go searching for it, because thatll be lust not love.

and lust dies. love doesnt

Answer 14

You have to know it is YOUR choice and nobody else's.    

Answer 15

First of all I would like to send my condolences on your loss. To start you can't just run out and jump into marriage. I know it's hard these days with dating but you have to take your time with finding a companion. You want to make sure your spending your life with a woman that is genuine and respects you as well as loves you for the right reasons. You also want to make sure she's someone that shares common interests and makes you happy. There are woman out here that are genuine and you have to just take your time. Yes there are good woman that would be with you. If they care about you they will accept you and everything that comes with you. It's hard when you lose family members and it's not the easiest time for you. Right now you need to be around friends, family, people that care about you. Love will come but just take your time. Also consider possibly seeking counseling. This might help with your depression.