Is it right to hook up with this girl?

Question

I was at my friend Kates house. I was looking through her cheerleading pics and there was this gorgeous girl named Nicole and I asked her why doesn't she bring Nicole around to hangout with our crew and she said that she has a boyfriend.

Nicole was still in my mind later that day and I was joking around with Kate saying to bring her around. Kate said she she is pretty close with her and could arrange something. I asked about the boyfriend. So they been going out for 1.5 years and she isn't happy. She has hooked up with a guy behind his back before. Kate said all I got to do is say the word and she will put in a word for me.

Is it ok to hook-up with her?

As for me I haven't been in serious relationship since I was 16. I'm 19!! Sure i had some short relationships but it always seems like something comes in the way. Why can't I at least go for this? I mean I understand that she has a boyfriend but she's gonna find some other guy to fill her needs, right? What about me?

Answer 1

Talk to her about it, tell her you like her. She will make the right choice.

Answer 2

i say go for it ... not like her boyfriend is a friend of yours... besides if she is going to do it then it might as well be with you right? plus if she was happy and you conned her it might be wrong but it sounds like she is up for it

Answer 3

Nope, she'll do the same thing to you

Answer 4

I see two problems with your scenario:

the first is that this girl already has a boyfriend. Now, if she's not happy, she will likely break it off on her own. I think the only ethical thing to do is to perhaps go for friendship with this girl - and friendship only, until she stops seeing her current boy. After all, do you really want to go out with someone who is happy to cheat on her boyfriend? Knowing full well it could be you next?

That's my second point. No matter how lovely she might be to look at, if she's cheated on her current boyfriend, why do you think she won't cheat on you? If you're looking for a serious relationship I don't think this girl is the right way to go.

It doesn't matter how unhappy you are in your relationship, cheating is never acceptable. If she wasn't happy, she should have stopped seeing her current boyfriend before doing anything.

Again, if she'll cheat on her boyfriend to be with you, what makes you think that you'll be safe? If you care about having a serious comitted relationship, I think you're probably barking up the wrong tree, mate.

Answer 5

I think you know it's not right.   If she hooks up with you, could you trust her not hook up with someone else behind your back?  If she is willing to do this and stay with her boyfriend what exactly kind of relationship do think that would be?

From what you say about her getting with another guy before doesn't mean it's okay to do.  She can't be trusted bottom line.

Why would you even want a woman who is already with a guy?  It makes no sense, and remember.... in today's society people have been killed for a whole lot less.

She should be completely broken up with him before you two get together.  One other thing, just because you desire her, doesn't  mean she'll want you just because you're willing to be her guy on the side.  

I hope you all are using protection.

lastly, if you guys sneak and do this you know that means you'll have dues to pay later.

Answer 6

You might as well give it a go.

Answer 7

It depends upon what kind of person you want to be and how you would like your life to be.

First, place yourself in Nicole's boyfriends position-

How would you feel if you found out your girlfriend was hooking-up with other guys behind your back?

Secondly, consider the consequences-

Do you want a reputation as a 'player'?

Girls will view you in a way that will make it difficult to have a real relationship. And guess what... Girls Talk. A Lot.

So how long do you think it will take for your (future) perfect girlfriend to hear about your participating in another Girls infidelities?

How do you think she would like it?

What kind of guy friends will you have around you then?

Likely the type the will hook-up with your girl and not tell you, and when you do find out, what do you think they'll say?

What happens if this Nicole's boyfriend finds out and comes after you?

I realize you are 19 and frustrated, believe me, it gets worse as you get older, though with practice, we get better at dealing with it. One day, when you've found a young Woman that you really like, imagine how much she'll be able to Trust you when you tell her you didn't hook up with a cute girl that was someone else's girlfriend, even though were frustrated and could have.

Or, when she asks and you say you did hook up with someone else's girl, will that not convey to her that it is acceptable for her to do the same?

There is a Code among Gentlemen. We do not hook-up with other people's girls. Odds are that you already intuitively know it is wrong, you're just battling your desires and hormones, which is why you are here asking.

If she isn't happy, then it is up to her to be Honest with her boyfriend; it is not your right to add additional misery to other peoples unhappiness.

While Trust must be earned, Respect must be granted;

So Respect their relationship and demonstrate yourself worthy of others Trust.

Keep up the Good fight.

Answer 8

go get her tiger