Is it right we're both giving each other space?

Question

My husband and I haven't been married that long, a year or so and looking back on it we rushed things and turns out we don't know each other as well as we thought we did.

I have been very unhappy in my marriage for quite some time now and a few months back I met this guy, just a friend who is everything I'm looking for in my husband this guy makes me smile I couldnt help but have feelings for him and things got quite intense with that which we wanted to say to each other.

He's indeed a gentleman and he knows that even though I've sorted some issues out with my husband knows full well that I'm at the point of considering leaving my husband and because of this he hasn't been in touch lately. I feel its commendable that hes left me to my own devices.

Even though I would love to contact him, I don't feel that at this present time, its the proper thing to do because I wouldnt want to drag him into the mess of my marriage so is it right we're both giving each other space.

Answer 1

Umm, you're married.  If you have to ask this you have more problems then you know.

Edit:

Married is married, whether you are happy or not.  You did not specify "Separated" so I am assuming you are still living together as man and wife.  Don't get defensive when I am just telling it like it is from the info you have provided.

Answer 2

I was really waiting for the part that you, husband and new guy had three-some or something.. or you are having a child with new guy..

you need to get marriage straightened out first before "moving on".. I am impressed that he is backing off.. it sounds like you are setting your self up to be an easy target...  

Answer 3

It's normal for you to continue practicing your single habits like:

dateing, looking for cute smiles, guys with great physic, guys with "the stare", guys with the looks, guys with the cash, guys, guys, and other guys.  You getting the message?

Once you get married = Game Over  

It's going to take you about 5-7 years to quit playing single and become the married woman you were called to be.  Give yourself more time.  If you can make it through the first 5 years, you have a good chance of having a great marriage.  

Answer 4

If I gave up on my marriage every single time that my husband didn't make me laugh, I would have never made it this far.  The only way you can get through a marriage is by working at it.  Any other guy who will pay attention to you is going to seem better than the man that you married.  Only thing is, as soon as you marry the other guy, I'm sure that you'll think that some other guy is better for you than that one.  If you don't know this, then maybe you're not ready for marriage with anyone at all.

Answer 5

Yes it is perfectly fine. The space that the two of you are taking from each other is good. That way when you do decide to leave your husband, it won't be as if you are leaving him for someone else, just on your own principles. That also allows your friend to not feel like he is the fall guy.

Answer 6

Yes, if it's meant to be he'll be there if/when your marriage ends.

Answer 7

You need to focus on your marriage. It is normal to have bad days in a marriage. It is easy to get caught up in something else especially when you're not happy. The grass always looks greener on the other side. The only way you're going to make things work out with your husband is if you leave this other guy COMPLETELY alone. As long as you have him around you will never be happy. Work on one relationship before you jump into another.