Is it rude???? No kids to a wedding!!!!?

Question

I am getting married next year...and my fiancee and I are working on the guest list, we are trying to keep it at 200 because of the cost....but it's reaching the 300's. I was thinking of stating NO KIDS....but I do not want to be rude!!!! What do you guys think????

Answer 1

DEFINITELY!!  Honestly, in my opinion, a wedding is no place for a child.  Children can be disruptive, loud, impatient, squirmy..  all of which has the potential to distract from the ceremony.  I'm not having kids at my wedding.  My invitation will simply say, "We will not be allowing children under the age of 12 at our wedding ceremony."  Or something to that effect.

Trust me, after all the weddings I was dragged to as a child, they won't remember, they won't care, and they be offended.  Maybe the parents will, but the children will probably be glad!

Cutting out children really does help decrease the amount on your guest list too.  So I say, courteously opt out of children there.

Answer 2

No way is it rude! I think it's a great choice.

A graceful way to make this known would not be to say "no kids" but maybe keep it at little positive by putting into the invitation "Children by invitation only please." Only you have to know that there won't be *any* by invitation. ;)

It's a very very common choice to keep the kids out, just be graceful and tactful about how you state it in the invitation.  

Answer 3

When you write out the envelope just make it to say "Mr and Mrs. and don't add "Family" to it. "Most" people will understand that it means Just the two of them. Or on the Dinner cards, just put "2 seats will be reserved in your honor, please choose from the following dinner options."

If you must, phrase your invitation to say "Adults Only Wedding"...if they don't want to come, it's not your loss.  

Answer 4

I suppose it would be kind of rude to some, but I wouldn't want kids at my wedding for the simple reason that they cannot sit still or be quiet.

The kids don't want to go to the wedding, they want to watch TV. It wouldn't offend them. The parents may be a little iffy about it. But if you make a little note to everyone that it is a celebration of holy matrimony, as well as a social gathering for ADULTS, it may not come off as harshly.

Answer 5

No its not rude but if its all family who are going to watch the kids for them if all the adults are going to the wedding?

I would invite the kids if it was my wedding b/c its a family thing and it will be something that they will remember I will never forget when my aunt married

but its your wedding do as you wish  

Answer 6

its your wedding, and it should be the way you want it, you will obviously receive less rsvp`s but you can always do the kids table deal, nd just get a few orders of chicken fingers and fries on the cheap

also kids are always good for a laugh and say cute stuff on the wedding tapes

Answer 7

belive it or not, but most people don't like to bring thier kids to a wedding. Think bout it they got to get all ready and suited up and on top of all that they got to get something nice for the kids to wear, plus they got to keep an eye on the kids the whole time plus the reception. Trust me, they won't have fun. You should create a butiful wedding but also an intimate experience for your guests. Serve alcohol, that way the parents can relax and enjoy the evning, with out the stress of bringing the kids along. If you don't want to sound rude then explain to your guests that it is a time for celebration for your new marridge but also a nite of fun for everyone stress free.  

Answer 8

Well, if your list is getting too long, I'd recommend three lists: a "must invite," a "should invite," and a "would be nice to invite" list. Not everyone needs to be there for your special day. That might cut it down a little.

I would totally support your decision to just keep kids out of it as well, because they do more than drive up wedding costs! Having a ton of kids around, particularly if their parents are partying with the other grownups, can get to be a disaster really fast. If you feel bad about saying "no kids," I have suggestions.

First, you can consider that requesting that no kids be there might cut more than just kids off of your list. Lots of parents might have trouble getting a sitter or whatever, so they'll just miss out. That could help cut your invitation list down a lot.

Second, what about a babysitter on-site? If you have a reception that's in a hotel, for example, rent an extra room, hire someone for a few bucks an hour, and fill the room with toys and activities for the kiddos, so they're out of the way, their parents can celebrate with you, and you won't have to have a seat at the table or a plate of food for each kid. You'd spend on the room and the sitter, but it would be cheaper than keeping them all in the reception ... especially if the little rugrats knock over your cake or something. Just specify on the invitation, something like "seperate activities for guests under 12 years old."

Answer 9

Nope, not at all.  I didn't have kids at my wedding, and my girlfriend didn't either.  One good reason for not having kids there is that if you're planning on serving really fancy food, like fillet mignon, kids aren't going to eat it and its just going to end up being a waste of money.  Not only that, someone is going to have to deal with an upset kid who probably wants chicken nuggets.  When I was telling guests there were no kids, my excuse was that I wanted the adults to be able to enjoy themselves and not have to worry about that.  Not only that, i didn't have any of those stupid dances like the chicken dance.  Basically my reception was NOT kid friendly.  

Answer 10

It's not rude, no. People do it all the time.

Start by addressing the invitation to Mr. and Mrs. X, rather than The X Family. And perhaps something more like "no children may attend" rather than "NO KIDS"  

If that's not enough than be sure to have your guests include the number of attendees on the RSVP card. That way you know exactly how many people are coming.

Congratulations and best of luck

Answer 11

It's not rude at all.  Think of it this way- if you were having a dinner party with alcohol at your house, and invited your friends, most wouldn't attempt to bring their kids.  Only at a wedding do people somehow feel entitled to bring more than who is on the invitation.  It isn't rude at all.  Enjoy and congratulations.  :)

EDIT: In fact, you shouldn't even have to state it.  Unless the invitation says "and Family", the invitee should assume that only the person(s) named on the invitation is invited.  Bringing anyone else would be rude- kids or not.

P.S.- Are you really that close with 300 people?  You don't have to invite everyone you know.  Don't invite anyone to your wedding who you wouldn't invite to your house for dinner, I say.

Answer 12

It is your wedding, It is the biggest event for you both. So it is all about you, not about the guests. If you said no kids, they will understand it. Sometimes, i saw on the invitation stated no flower or no gift, money accepted. It sound impolite right?! you prefer money than other things. but they will understand. But you have to think, if they cannot bring kids, are they still coming or not? is there anybody available to take care of their kids? Congrats!

Answer 13

i don't think it's rude at all. i have about thirty cousins on my one side (my mom was one of eight) and so there have been about 15 weddings in the last ten years, and i'd say seven or eight of them, my brothers and sisters (and everyone not in college) weren't invited unless they were bros/sisters of the bride and groom. we always understood though- that saves so much money we were never mad or anything or felt they were cheap. it's absolutely understandable, and common i think.  

Answer 14

Three hundred people is a LOT to keep entertained and to greet during the reception.  

I don't think kids should be invited to weddings cause nothing spoils the intimate mood of a wedding like a screaming brat!  It's not rude to not have children at your wedding!

Answer 15

If there's people you want to come and they have kids, then I'd suggest not stating that. 200 is already a lot of people... /: I don't think you need to state it, but I guess you can if you really don't want them. this means no nieces, nephews, little cousins, little brothers or sisters, or anyone young you like because it would be ruder for them to be there and not friends' kids.

So it would be kind of rude for some people.

Answer 16

Not rude at all....IF you're careful about it.  Don't put anything in the invitations that says "Adults Only" or "No Children".  Put only the names of the people you're inviting on the envelope.  Then if anyone RSVP's that it's more than the Mr. & Mrs. coming, call and very politely let them know that space is very limited at your site, and as much as you'd like to, you can't invite everyone's children also.  Say that you'd love to have them there.  If they say "But little Suzy hates to be away from us!" then say you're sorry that they won't be able to make it.

Answer 17

It is your wedding so you can decide however you would like to organize it. but it would be very inconvienent for your guests if you just told them to leave their kids at home. i wouldnt do that.

if you are trying to cut down the budget, try shortening the guest list entirely to just close friends.  

Answer 18

Nobody I've ever known has done it that way.  Some people would probably be offended, but others might like the idea.  It is your wedding, but remember that a wedding is joining two families and excluding part of the family based on age seems harsh to me.  Also, if others are traveling to your wedding, they might not have a nanny to travel along and may be uncomfortable leaving the children behind.  So if they don't come, they're not being rude.

Answer 19

no its not rude, weddings are a grown up thing, and children are too unpredictable, u would probably spend a lot more money on food they will take a few bites of and throw away anyway, plus i don't remember a wedding reception i was allowed to go to when i was little either, most adults want o have fun and not have to worry about watching the kids when they are trying to celebrate  

Answer 20

When my parents received an invitation as "Mr. and Mrs. _____" to my cousin's wedding, I was insulted because we are family.  I was 13 at the time, my first cousin was getting married, and I was considered a "kid" to her who she did not want present.  The couple did not want to have our entire family present so my parents did not want to go at all, and they did not.  This still remains with me.  I think blatantly stating "NO KIDS" is rude, and instead of that approach, you may try just addressing the envelop as Mr. and Mrs. _________. By stating no kids, if any of the guests with children see another child at the wedding, they will get insulted that you did not want their children but accepted others, and your manners will be talked about and gossiped.  Decide who you need to invite as a family and invite them as "Mr. and Mrs. ______ and family," and those where you can get away with inviting just the couple or the adults, invite as "Mr. and Mrs." or "Ms. and Guest" etc.  This is your special day, so you want everything to go well..you want to be admired and not gossiped or disrespected.

Answer 21

Okay this is tricky....my husband and I are already married but due to him being deployed to iraq we didn't get to have an actual wedding.  Now since we are already married we told our parents we want to pay for it ourselves.   I too am trying to keep my guests down so inviting kids and paying $60 a plate for a 4 year old to enjoy steak is a bit ridiculous.  However I am having a flower girl and a boy ring bearer who's parents are also in the wedding so yes they are invited.  What I did was only invite our closest family and friends...people I speak to everyday and are comfortable with.  Being comfortable w/ everyone also meant that I was comfortable enough to explain to those w/ children that we are paying for the wedding ourselves and trying to keep costs low.  We would be honored and thankful if they could spend our special day w/ us but other than the two children participating in the wedding we have to ask that all other children be left at home for the evening.  I called all 50 or so family/friends on my side personally and told them this and my husband did the same for his side.  By not putting it in the invitation and calling personally no one had any misunderstanding about us "hating children"....and understood our situation.  Not one person had a problem with it.  There are a couple people who won't be able to attend of course but they are not sore about it.  They understand that when you have children, there are sacrifices to make...and sometimes that means not being able to attend functions if you can't find childcare.

One day I will have kids and I too will have to be understanding.

Answer 22

I love my kids however, I would love to tell them "sorry its an adult only function" and be able to get away for awhile. So you will have some people who will appreciate it and you will have some who wont. Just be honest and say for budget reasons they need to find a babysitter.. My sister did. She just put " NO KIDS LOL" on her invitations. Now that might be rude for most people. But if you knew my sister , It would not surprise you!

Answer 23

It's definitely not rude. But you should probably provide a babysitter for during the ceremony &/or the reception. Every wedding I've went to that didn't want small children attending (children under 5 or children even under 13) always had a babysitter available on site. I plan on having children under 5, which since most of my friends have no children and I'm the first to get married won't be that many, in the churches 'nursery' with a babysitter.

Answer 24

No i dont think it's rude. A few of my family members did that for their wedding and im still a child. It's your wedding and you can do whatever you want. If people take it the wrong way just say something like you want them all to be having fun rather than having to watch their kids.

Answer 25

For me it will be rude because some day you'll have one or more and you will feel insulted if someone invited you but not your kids. If it was me I wouldn't go to that wedding. I mean cut the ones that so not need to be present like your boss, old friends who you barely speak to just narrow it down to family members or have family members of each side to help out with whatever they can't like paying for the cake, drinks, flowers, band, anything.

Answer 26

No it's not rude but you will have to word it politely. I love kids and I have kids of my own but other than our own children and my flower girl, there will be no children at my wedding reception. Here's why: we have a total of 90 guests and almost all of them have 2 to 3 children each. We can not afford to pay to have them all there. Next reason is because our venue is too small. If people get offended by the no kids rule, then they don't have to come. I don't think a wedding is a place for children anyway. It would be quite broing for them too. If I was invited to a wedding where the children were welcome, I still wouldn't take them anyway because I would rather enjoy the night celebrating, dancing and drinking...not running around telling my kids to sit down, stop squeeling and behave themselves. We have foud that most of the people on our 'no kids' guest list agree with us and have said they wouldn't want to bring them anyway. Just make sure that you send your invitations out on time so that it gives people the oppoutunity to make arrangements for their children and it will be fine. Hope you have a great wedding. Congrats.

Answer 27

I have received many wedding invitations that stated NO CHILDREN PLEASE at the bottom. I do not think it is rude.. only practical because you would be paying a lot to feed little children who would barely eat as much as an adult. Also, they tend to get rowdy, so you wouldn't want them ruining anything.  

Answer 28

i think its a great idea...i went to a wedding last weekend, i couldn't even concentrate on the wedding bc of the kids crying, dropping things, whining, making noise...i missed the kiss bc of a crying baby!  I was so aggravated!  Just say "due to the limited capacity and finances we are unable to invite everyone that we would like, therefore we are forced to limit our guests to adults only..." and you could provide a name of a baby sitter or arrange it so that there is a nursery available during the time of your wedding...

GO FOR IT!

Answer 29

I'm not having ANY kids at my wedding. I don't want their noise, mess, running around my cake, coming near my dress and getting it dirty, and I don't want to feed them, having them put their grubby little fingers in my food, no thank you. No children at all. I've invited a few of my younger cousins in their late teens, but I don't need a 500 person guest list because people want to  bring their kids to mess up my day..

Answer 30

Its a wedding, possibly the most important day in your life. Make it have good memories, I'd say keep it 300 maximum unless its really getting out of hand. It is really hard to try to say no kids, because some parents that were planning to bring them along will be disappointed; and what point is going to a wedding unhappy? Make it good memories ^^

Answer 31

It depends. Are these kids that you never interact with? Are they close relatives, like nieces and nephews?

You may want to find other ways to pare down the guest list. I went to my fiancee's aunt's wedding, and she chose to only invite people they have known for 5 years or longer. I don't know how you got to 300 people, but maybe you could make a "must" list and a "maybe" list to start narrowing it down. You can easily cut 2nd cousins, childhood friends you haven't seen in 20 years, and coworkers.