Is it rude for a white person to address their hispanic waiter in Spanish at a Mexican Restaurant?

Question

Today, I was in a Mexican restaurant and I was having trouble making up my mind. I told the Waitperson, Uno momento, Pour Favor and she gave me a dirty look.

I've been to this restaurant many times and I know she speaks fluent spanish.

Answer 1

I'm going to make an assumption here and I could be completely wrong but my guess is that she's probably been given a lot of grief for not knowing English very well, if not at that restaurant then in her personal life, and she may have felt like you were making fun of her even though you know you weren't.

I don't think what you did was offensive at all because you were in a Mexican restaurant.

However, as an American who is by blood part Peruvian and part Mexican I can tell you that I am very insulted when non-Hispanics speak to me in Spanish. I can read, write, speak and understand Spanish but I don't speak it in my home, with my family or with my friends. I will speak it with others who feel more comfortable speaking it but as an American who grew up in the Midwest I'm offended when non-Hispanics think I don't speak English because I have a darker complexion than they do.

I think you might have unwittingly hit a nerve, but for the record I think it's ok to speak Spanish in a Mexican restaurant. ;)  

Answer 2

My brother does the same thing, and the wait staff just laughs at him.  

It's not necessarily rude, but it is a bit condescending.

Answer 3

well I'm mexican and it pisses me off when white people speak spanish to me because first of all i was born here and i speak english perfectly. just speak to every hispanic person in english first but if they don't see to understand you go ahead and bust the spanish out then it won't be offensive,

Answer 4

I am assuming this was done in the states, if so, yes it is rude.  

The main language here is English.  

I briefly waited tables in an Asian restaurant and this one customer first spoke to me in Mandarin, then Japanese, then Spanish before finally speaking in English.  

I was able to respond to each of his questions in said language, but was really irritated that although I requested the tables order speaking in English, that was the last language he chose to speak to me.

Just because I am not as white as the driven snow does not mean I cannot speak the preferred language of this country.

If you were in a Spanish speaking country it would be very polite of you to do that.

Having worked in retail with a knowledge of different languages I would address people first in English, then if I could tell they were having trouble I would speak in their language.  It's better not to assume they can't speak English, and they would have such a smile of relief that I could communicate with them.

Also, I noticed you spelled "Por Favor" "Pour Favor", so perhaps your accent is not that great, and she had trouble understanding you?

On the French thing, keep in mind what you said - "you are "impressing" the person your with", probably not the wait staff making it not a double standard.

You said she just started speaking English, so if you really want to be polite, help her be better in the English language by ordering in English.

I think it is kind of you to ask what you did to offend.  It shows compassion for other people.

Answer 5

Speak the language that's on the menu.  Anything else can be taken as condescending.  The last thing you want is a p***ed off server.

Answer 6

Being a waitress and working for tips it was her mistake to do this. I wouldn't have left her much of a tip, SHE was the rude person here.

Answer 7

I'm white and worked in a Mexican restauraunt for years.  People always do that.  It's annoying but not offensive.

Answer 8

Personally I don't think its rude. My Arabic class went to a Middle Eastern Restaurant and we had to order the food in Arabic. A lot of times restaurants are the only places where English speaking people can test their conversation skill in other languages.

Maybe she had a problem with it, that's her problem not yours.  

Answer 9

Maybe she took it as an insult, as if you were implying that she could not speak English.  

I'm not sure. I guess it depends on the person. Some people are easily offended.

However, I bet she gets that a lot. It's probably tiring to hear novices trying to speak spanish. (Note: not saying that you are a novice, just saying that she probably hears that day in and day out from people who are not fluent.)

I wouldn't worry too much about it. You could apologize the next time you see her - though she's probably already forgotten by now.

I think that if you enjoy doing it, then you should continue to do so. Some people will think it's fun and maybe teach you new words or something. Don't give up because of one person.

Answer 10

Yes very rude.

Answer 11

Yes, it's rude.  We live in the US, and the language is English.  How do you know English isn't her first language- and just happens to speak Spanish as well?   You may have noble intentions, but you shouldn't speak in Spanish to her unless you know that's what she prefers or if she doesn't speak English.

I HATE it when I travel to Mexico or Spain and people automatically speak to me in English.   Hello- I traveled thousands of miles to speak Spanish (I am fluent) and I find it offensive and patronizing that they would think I wouldn't at least know at least a  few words in Spanish.

Don't assume anything.  Speak the language of the country until you are told otherwise.