Is it rude not to invite certain family members to your wedding?

Question

Im gettin married and i dont like most of my dads family and I dont want them invited to my b ig day? I love my moms fam and all f them are invited? however i dont want to offend my father but i really cant stand his family and i dont want them there! is it rude to invite my moms side and not my dads?

Answer 1

I understand u that u don't want to offend ur father, but it is ur wedding, not his. U shouldn't invite anyone who u don't like or someone u know who doesn't like u because it seems like the right thing to do. Tell him that those people u don't like have not supported u or ur relationship with ur fiance and that is the reason u don't want them there.

Answer 2

Yes it is.  Not inviting them will only make the hard feelings go deeper.

Answer 3

You don't say if there are major problems with your dad's side like someone who gets drunk at family functions and ruins things, or what problem you have with them.

I guess it's rude-technically, but it's your wedding.  If you feel these people will ruin your big day, I wouldn't invite them.

Can you sit down with your dad and have a heart to heart talk about this?  Explain why you don't want to invite these folks.  Tell him how they make you feel (nervous, anxious, upset, or whatever) and that you'll have enough going on that day without having these people there.  Tell him how much you love him and that you don't want to hurt him.

On the other hand, if you think you can handle them being there and they won't ruin your day, I'd invite them for his sake.

Try to picture how you will feel a year from now with whatever decision you make.  Will you probably be happy with it, or wish you'd done differently?  That may also help you make your decision.

Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Answer 4

Probably, but its something you should really talk over with your dad.  I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.  Just something to think about.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Whether it is or not, you need to consider what kind of things they face already. To be left out of a big event will only further their suffering.

If, however, their lives are normal, then you can add one dilemma to their lives and it will be just fine.  

Answer 6

OKAY IF YOU DONT THEN THE FATER SIDE WILL GET MAD AND THEN THERE WIL BE A WAR AND IF YOU DO TELL THE MOM SIDE TO SETTLE THEM DOWN OKAY

Answer 7

Unless these people have done something absolutely horrific to you or your fiance, they are still your family and you really should invite them.

I'm not the biggest fan of the spouses of some of my relatives, but they're family and I'm inviting them to my wedding anyway.

Answer 8

Yes it is . You don't want to hurt his feelings.  

Sit his side of the family in the back far away from the Bride and Groom table.

I promise you once the reception starts you won't even know they are there.

Answer 9

Who is paying for the wedding?  If you Dad is helping by footing the bill, it seems that he should be able to have some of his family there.

If you and your future spouse are paying for the wedding, then the choice of guests its totally yours.

But the most important thing is this: I hope that your wedding is the beginning of a wonderful life together.  Good luck!

Answer 10

If you were having a really small wedding and only inviting parents, grandparents, and close friends, its OK not to invite cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  But inviting one relative and not another based simply on your feelings for them is going to be seen as a huge slap in the face and you're going to have to be prepared to face the consequences, which may involve never seeing that side of the family again, including possibly your father (the relationship would at least be very strained, unless your father hates his relatives too).  The only situation where it would be OK not to invite one side of the family is if you had no relationship with them whatsoever, like not speaking to each other, not seeing each other ever, etc.  Otherwise you have to be careful because it is sending a very hostile message to them, since they will expect to be an obvious choice for the invite list.

Answer 11

Invite them. Your dad will be very hurt if you don't invite his family. Besides, you'll be talking to so many people that you won't have very long to spend with them anyway. Just invite them and act polite when thanking them for coming.

Answer 12

I think it depends.  Obviously, if your father is going to be offended, then it's rude.  He'll feel his own family wasn't good enough to attend your wedding.  I'm sure he wants his family there and to be a part of your special day.  Now, if there are particular family members you haven't seen in years or ones your father isn't fond of either, then I think you can exclude them.

But, just to exclude his whole family when you know it will hurt his feelings on his child's special day, is really selfish.

You may not like them, but they are your dad's family.  Your wedding day is about more than you and your Fi, it's about your families too.  This includes your parents, the people who birthed you, raised you and supported you.  They deserve to be respected.  It's not respectful to shun your father's whole family, especially if he wants them there.  

Answer 13

yes, it is. and somewhere along the line they are going to find out. it would probably be better to invite them. your dad will probably ask them anyway.

Answer 14

its your wedding day and you can do what you want and what makes you happy.

unless your dad is paying than you would have to do what makes him happy.

if you are paying, dont pay for people who you dont like.